Bobobobo Bobobo: Video Crisis!
by TRUE Unknown
Summary: The cyber realm must be saved! Bobobo and pals continue their quest to save us all! So read and encourage them! GO BOBOBO AND FRIENDS! GasserxBeauty moments! Finally, CH.16 is up! Please R&R, y'all! It'd be mighty appreciated!
1. Numbering of 1

Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo: Video Crisis!

Disclaimer: I don't own the series, any video game characters that make cameos, or the people who made Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo, however, I do own this fic.

Here, I will use the manga names, rather than the Japanese anime or English dub names.

Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo Don Patchi Poppa Rocks Tokoro no Tennosuke Jelly Jiggler Hepokkomaru Gasser Beauty Beauty Softon Softon (The small white character, who is so adorable) Dengakuman (Bo-bobo's archrival, with the pompadour) Gunkan (The blond guy who can lock people's hearts, and is Poppa Rocks's godson) Hatenkou (Gunkan's henchman, blond hair girl with a cross shirt) Suzi Gyorai Girl Torpedo Girl

--

A beautiful winter day, up on a mountainous region, Bo-bobo, Poppa Rocks, Beauty, Gasser, and Jelly Jiggler were setting up their camp site, so they can 'rough it' the following night.

"Guys, this is really cold..." Jelly Jiggler quivered, shaking violently. "I think I might just freeze up here!"

Beauty, who was dressed in a cute winter ensemble and a little pink toque covering her head, quipped back. "Why don't you just dress up like us, Jelly?" When she heard nothing, she became worried. "Jelly?" She turns around to see him completely frozen.

"WAH! HE'S FROZEN OVER!" Beauty and Gasser freaked out.

Bo-bobo, wearing a brown leather jacket, looked at the frozen ally, and became determined. "I'll save him!" Suddenly, his nose hairs started coming out of his nostrils. "Fist of the Nose Hair!" The nose hairs whip the frozen Jelly repeatedly, also taking off small chunks off him. Now Bo-bobo suddenly threw on a tuxedo. "Bo-bobo Presentation: JELLY ICE CENTERPIECE!" True to his technique, the frozen Jelly is now a Jelly ice swan sculpture

Beauty, with her nature, naturally freaked out. "THAT DOESN'T HELP HIM ANY!"

Poppa Rocks, who was wearing a scarf, chips off a couple of chunks of the sculpture, and puts it in a martini glass, and starts to drink. Gasser, wearing a toque and jacket, could only respond by looking at him oddly. "And that doesn't help either."

"Sure it does!" The orange candy re-assured him, as he took another sip. He suddenly became angry. "THIS IS DISGUSTING!"

The suddenly unfrozen Jelly Jiggler, now donning a white tuxedo and monocle, takes a sip of the glass, and thinks to himself. "Hmm... I prefer my own taste, when it's mixed with a little Chardonnay. Champagne makes it too fizzy and, well, taste like crap."

"Watch your language, fool!" Bo-bobo yelled, driving his fist...shaped car into Jelly, sending him flying into a tree, with snow falling on the lychee-flavored man.

"Uh, Bo-bobo, this is a PG 13-rated fic, so the grounds for swearing are basically good." Poppa Rocks reminded him, patting his shoulder calmly.

Bo-bobo was now twiddling his fingers. "Yeah, well, I didn't think it suited him in his rich guy impersonation." He replied sheepishly.

"AUGH! You guys are crazy!" Beauty freaked out, as usual.

The small orange candy pulled out a box, grabbed a pink wig, and put it on his head. Suddenly, he turned around, and he had Beauty's exact eyes. His vocal interpretation, however, was way off... "Oh, my name is Beauty! I'm 14 years old, and I'm the main female lead! I think that Poppa Rocks fellow is the shiznit!"

"SINCE WHEN DO I SAY THAT!"

He tossed the wig off, and stood toe to toe as he looked up to her. "Well let me tell you something, missy! I may be 130 sugar-charged MAN, but," he turned away, suddenly sounding dramatic, "I'm afraid you're just not the one for me..."

Beauty sighs in utter sarcasm. "Okay..."

"And since you had your fun being the main heroine..." Poppa Rocks turns around, sporting his Beauty look again. "IN THESE FICS, I'M THE HEROINE! Me! Me! Me!" He flails his arms in a girly manner as they hit her legs. Then, he reverts to his normal self, and sucker punches Beauty in the stomach. "So it's high time we start some training, missy!"

In a rage, Gasser grabs the orange star candy and throws him into Jelly Jiggler, as he rushes to Beauty's side. "Beauty! Are you okay?"

"AUGH!" Screamed Jelly as a large Poppa Rocks-shaped hole takes precedence where his body would usually be, and it shrinks him down in size, nothing but legs, arms, and a head. "Oh, I'm feeling this in the morning..."

"Well, looks like its getting dark..." Bo-bobo mused to himself as the sun started to set. "Well gang, let's head..." He then points to a wooden lodge that's just beside them. "To our rooms in the lodge."

"What! You mean we set up camp for nothing!" Beauty panicked, still holding her stomach.

Suddenly, Poppa Rocks held up the large chunk of Jelly he took out when he got slammed into him. He was sporting a beanie hat. "I'm gonna put this under my pillow, and hope that the Jam Fairy will give me a Raspberry Jam jar!"

A short stocky woman with a white tutu and hairy legs appeared before the childish candy. "That's right!" She spoke in a fat manner.

"Back to whence you came!" Bo-bobo cried out, as he summoned his nose hairs, and then charged at the supposed Jam Fairy and spin kicked her into the sky, as she disappeared with the twinkle.

"Whatever... I'll be in the hot tub if you guys need me..." Jelly said aloud, as he walks past them and into the lodge, and jumps into the readily available tub.

Bo-bobo, suddenly holding luggage for the group, quipped. "Well gang, let's check out our rooms.

The Bo-bobo gang walks into the nice warm resort, when they suddenly see that the hot tub Jelly is relaxing in, is actually a giant cooking pot. They also spot some gremlins underneath the pot, adjusting the temperature, just so they can cook the lychee jelly man. Of course, Beauty and Gasser had to overreact when they saw this, but Jelly seemed unaffected by the dilemma of it all, as he donned jelly pigtails, glasses, and make-up, with a towel wrapped around his body, like a woman relaxing in a hot tub.

"Guys, this bath is divine..." He airily stated, before he slumped in the water, where it suddenly turned blue right where he was.

"Yep, he's cooked." Poppa Rocks stated in a matter-of-factly tone.

--

Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo: Video Crisis!

It is You who Dances! It is What Opens up the Gateway! ... I think...

--

Three rooms border each other, each with two beds, a TV, a mini bar, and a bathroom, as the Bo-bobo gang look in.

"Mmm, diggin' these digs." The afro-ed man said aloud.

Jelly, angry as all heck and a half, tailed them as a puddle. "How could you just leave me back there! You guys are terrible..." He reformed himself, and whistled at the digs.

Likewise, Poppa Rocks yelled out, "I call this room!"

Once more, Jelly puts on his lovely school girl routine, and hugged Poppa. "Yay! Rocks, you and me, we're gonna be--" 

"ROOMIES!"

Poppa Rocks, in school girl attire, and with his faux Beauty eyes and hair, started squealing incessantly. "Oh we'll do our hair, pig out on ice cream, gossip, talk about whose been getting fat--Oooh we'll just be great big bitches!

"STOP TAKING MY LOOKS!" Beauty understandably reacted.

"Face it, Beauty, people like it when I'm you! Right, my fan base?"

The surroundings pan to three people on a table. All three of them hold up 'No' signs.

Back to normal, Poppa starts slamming the ground in sadness. "I don't have a fan base!"

"Hey," Jelly said with a smile, and a crowbar in his hand. "Let's raid the mini bar!" Poppa Rocks cheered up and joined him as they attempted to jimmy open the easily accessible fridge.

Beauty sighed with a gasp. "To this day, I still find it odd how their emotions can be resolved easily."

"Hey guys! Check this out!" Bo-bobo giddily cheered, as he was holding something in his hands. "FREE SHOWER CURTAINS!"

Gasser sighs. "You're not supposed to take those out, Bo-bobo..."

While everyone else was admiring the neatness of the room, the orange candy opened a ground cupboard, and he started cheering with delight. "ALRIGHT! A GAME PYRAMID CONSOLE!" He posed a thumbs-up to the gang. "Let's have some much needed fun, guys!"

"That's not really needed." Beauty smiled to herself. "Being around you guys is oddly fun enough!"

"Y-you think so?" Gasser blushed as she smiled at him.

Poppa Rocks stood, as Bo-bobo was about to press the power button on the console, but then decides to slam it straight on Rocks's head. "AUGH!"

"What the hell, Bo-bobo?" The pink-haired girl gawked angrily.

Poppa Rocks suddenly became monochromatic, as he spoke in a monotone voice. "Powering on." The system on his head turns on, with the Game Pyramid logo on the TV popping up. "Game Pyramid... on."

"It's best not to understand them... I know I don't..." Gasser patted the still gawking Beauty's shoulder.

"There we go." Poppa Rocks calmly puts down the Game Pyramid, and then suddenly bursts into anger as he looks frantically all over the room. "WHERE'S THE CONTROLLERS!"

Jelly Jiggler, in school nerd duds, complete with swirly glasses, pulls out an instruction manual. "It says here in the instruction manual that the game console detects bodily movements, and then puts those movements into the game that is being played. So basically we, ourselves, are the controllers."

"So, you're saying that the system's sensors can detect our movements?" Said Bo-bobo, in a school girl outfit, complete with afro pig tails.

"Ohohohohohohohohoho that is correct."

Poppa Rocks slapped the floor hard with a wooden sword, as he dons a pompadour-wearing school punk outfit. "I don't wanna move myself! But then again, if we played a fighting game, could I actually hit you, and it would count?"

Jelly Jiggler answered with dread. "Sadly, yes..."

"I love ya, ya freakin' nerd!" Poppa Rocks yelled as he slaps Jelly in the back with his wooden sword, pushing a small chunk off his body.

"BODY-CHOPPING!" Jelly screamed in pain.

Beauty's reaction: "WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU!"

With the atmosphere back to normal, the gang sees a menu on the screen that says 'Press Start'. Bo-bobo shrugs, as his afro pops open, and a button that says 'Start Button' becomes pushed by the main hero. The only female in the room just looks strangely at them.

The screen blankly states 'Welcome... to the World...' The TV suddenly cracks open, as something slithers out of the cracks, revealing a humanoid entity consisting of living static, and wearing a bucket with a painted smiley face on it. The gang assumed fighting stances, assuming the worst.

"W-what is that thing?" Beauty asked in a nervous stance.

Poppa Rocks suddenly acted liked a kid, looking at the stranger with a deep interest. "It's our new toy!"

"I highly doubt that, Rocks..." Gasser sighed.

"Hey-lo there, all." The electric entity spoke with a distortion in its voice. "My name is..." It's body begins to spasm violently. "STA-tic-OR!"

"OH MY GOD!" Jelly wailed, as he pushed the figure out of the way, towards the broken entertainment box. "TV!"

Unfortunately, this caused our new visitor Staticor to fall out the window... "NO! THIS CAN'T BE THE END OF--" It was silenced as it fell flat into the snow.

"Huh..." Beauty said aloud. "Didn't think we'd take down a minor villain so easily or quickly..." Gasser nodded beside her. "Think we're making good time?"

Jelly Jiggler, instead of worrying about the fiend from the TV, started crying his eyes out, holding fragments of audio-box in his hands. "WHYYYYY! IT ONLY WANTED TO ENTERTAIN US..."

The lights suddenly go out throughout the entire lodge, and a stage light shines on a floating stage outside, where Staticor is. The being's demeanor was suddenly calmer, with a stupid top hat on top of his bucket head. "Now, as I was going to say before I was rudely interrupted."

"Sorry about that." Jelly apologized.

"Apology accepted. Now, I heard about you and your group, Bo-bobo. I heard about how you toppled the Big Four of the Bald Empire, using your teamwork and your infamous Fist of the Nose Hair." Author's Note: No offense to the dub, but Snot-Fu is just stupid "But I actually want to see your power first-hand, to see if you really are as great as I heard. So," Staticor started charging electricity in his hands. "Come at me, Bo-bobo!"

Bo-bobo also suddenly became invigorated. "Challenge is accepted." The blond hero starts channeling energy in his hands, in a similar style as Staticor. "I'll show you my chargeable projectile attack as well!"

"Fist of the Gaming Shock!" The bucket head releases his electricity, into a large cone blast, aiming right for him. "Static Statiker!"

"Fist of the Nose Hair--" Bo-bobo thrusts his hands out, when his nose hairs suddenly wrap around Poppa Rocks and launches him into the electric blast! "Poppa Star Intercept!"

Defying physics, Staticor's bucket eyes were bugging out "Weren't you charging energy?"

"OWWWWWWW!" Screamed the candy in electrically charged soreness. He changed his tone from pain to an unfazed guy, giving a thumbs-up to the afro man. "Good tactic, man."

"Bo-bobo!" Beauty yelled. "You should learn not to do that!"

Staticor laughed heartily. "THIS is his teamwork? How pathe--huh?" His Bucket-Vision spies the electrically flung Poppa Rocks hurtling straight at him.

"Eat this, you ass-backwards weirdo!"

"WHAT?" And before he could say more, he gets tackled, sending him right to destroying the stage.

"Go, Poppa!" Beauty cheered.

Poppa Rocks scoffed quietly. "Dummy..." Suddenly, he grew pissed as he grabbed a 30 lb. Rock and threw it at her head, leaving Gasser to pick her up. "EMPHASIZE BOTH SYLLABLES NEXT TIME!" Now his attention was turned back to the very-conscious Staticor, cracking his fists in anticipation. "Now, where were we?

"Who says I want you?" The living static taunted, brushing off some stray dust on it's static body. "Bo-bobo is my target!" It turns its static arm into an electrified sword, launching a large wave at the orange spikes. "Fist of the Gaming Shock! Electric Wave!" Unfortunately for him, Poppa Rocks pulled out a suspiciously blue rubber helmet, and disabled the entire attack. "HOW DID YOU DO THAT!" He retorted in disbelief.

"OH GOD! THE PAIN!" The no-longer helmet-shaped Jelly Jiggler collapsed on the ground, electrical surges surrounding his body.

In a magician's garb, Poppa Rocks twiddled his finger. "Ah-ah-ah... a magician never reveals his secrets." He grimly looked to the side, and pushed Jelly slightly out of sight. He suddenly pulls out lots of large top hats out of his main one. "If you want Bo-bobo, you'll have to find him! Now... Fist of Poppa Rocks Tributes..." the candy pulls out a Yu-gi-oh! Card, as he wears a wig with a plastic Yugi mask. "MAGICAL POPPA HATS!"

All five heroes are now hidden and shuffled in hats with standard 'Don Patchi/Poppa Rocks' stars on them. All that could be heard was Poppa Rocks's laughter, as his voice emanated from one of the hats. "We're hiding in these hats, so now it'll take you a while to find--" 

"Staticor!" Bo-bobo yelled triumphantly, as he lifted the hat he was hiding under, and threw it into the starry night sky.

--

Meanwhile, a happy little star was twirling around the Earth, singing to himself.

"Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Me..." Suddenly, a large hat disintegrated the poor gas ball into nothingness. "NO!"

--

"Damn it, Bo-bobo! You just ruined the whole point of hiding in the hats!" The candy man started panicking.

"You want to see my power so badly? Then here's your front-seat pass!" Bo-bobo gets into his standard fighting pose, as a yellow aura channels around him.

Staticor, looking up from its fifth complete game of solitaire, stands up in the air. "It's about time! I was getting bored. Here it comes!" Very suddenly, the nose-hairs left from Bo-bobo's nostrils, and enveloped themselves around its body. "Fool! Gaming Shock Self-Defense: STATIC BODY!" As it charged its body repeatedly, it sends electrical jolts straight to Bo-bobo through his nose hairs.

"Bo-bobo!" Beauty cried out in worry.

Bo-bobo, however, ground his feet firmly in the air ! and began to shout out a loud battle cry as he braces the electricity "FIST OF THE NOSE HAIR!"

"Huh?" Was all the bucket head could muster before getting constricted by the nose hairs, feeling his life force being choked out of his painted bucket mouth. "GWAAAHH!"

Bo-bobo spreads his arms out, as the other four giant hats appear beside him. "MAGICAL POPPA CANNONS!"

"WHAT!" The other four of Bo-bobo's gang gawked in disbelief.

"FIRE!"

The four hats turn into Bo-insignia cannons, and fire the four screaming friends out at the entangled Staticor. "THIS CAN'T BE!" The combined force of their full-bodied tackles knocks the remaining fight out of it. "I see... It is..." Poppa, Beauty, Gasser, and Jelly all fell towards the snow-covered ground, all crushing the elastic Jiggler.

"SUPER TECHNIQUE FINISH!" Boomed an announcer's voice.

"WHEN DID WE HAVE AN ANNOUNCER?" Beauty gawked as usual.

The suddenly frail being floated lifelessly into Bo-bobo's arms. "This is the Fist of the Nose Hair... that is the real deal... Bo-bobo..." The black-white static clutched his hand

Bo-bobo carefully plants his finger on the bucket mouth. "Don't speak. Just tell us, why you came here..."

It was apparent that Staticor wasn't going to last long, because its voice was starting to become even more static-y. "I had to see if you were the real deal, because... The Bald Empire... They are corrupting the Games and World Wide Web as we speak... Many innocent people will unintentionally fall under their influence... Only you can save them..."

Jelly Jiggler, under a mound of snow, Poppa Rocks, Beauty, and Gasser, struggled in a futile effort to get free. "SERIOUSLY GUYS, GET OFF ME!"

"Quiet down man, we're listening..." Poppa Rocks silenced the lychee man.

"Save us... save them... Bo-bobo..." Were the last words of the being known as Staticor. His body no longer having energy, his hand lets go of Bo-bobo's, and he disappears in a sea of static. Only his bucket head, with X's on the eyes, remains.

"That poor guy..." Beauty sniffled, as she was in near tears.

Bo-bobo stood up, and jumped down to his friends. "You heard him. The Bald Empire is up to no good, once more." His voice was always best at carrying a determined tone. "You ready gang, for our next quest?"

Beauty, Gasser, and Poppa Rocks raised their fists in determined tears. "YEAH!"

"I'd be ready, if you guys got off of me..." Jelly commented stupidly.

Suddenly, the bucket on the windowsill starts to glow, and it then begins creating great amounts of suction. The battle-seasoned buffs held their ground from the growing intensity. Almost immediately, Beauty and Gasser become sucked into the bucket, their legs and feet disappearing in a flash.

"AWW the two love birds got sucked in--" Jelly was interrupted by the feel of his jelly body being pulled in, despite his grounding stance. "No... NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" And unfortunately, he gets sucked in too.

Poppa Rocks gazed into the absorbing gateway. "W-WHAT THE HELL IS THIS, BO-BOBO!"

"Don't ask me, Rocks my man! This is the start of our next adventure!" With his fearless attitude, Bo-bobo dives headfirst into the vacuum bucket.

"WHAT? What does that even mean, Bo-bobo?" Poppa soon jumps after him into the bucket. "Bo-bobo!"

--

Where will our heroes end up?

What is the Bald Empire up to with their new plan?

Will Poppa Rocks EVER get a fan base, with the way he acts?

Jelly Jiggler takes over the screen. "AND WILL I ACTUALLY MAKE IT TO THE NEXT PLACE WITHOUT BEING CRUSHED BRUTALLY!"

We'll find out next time! 


	2. Factoring 2

Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo: Video Crisis!

Disclaimer: I don't own the series, any video game characters that make cameos, or the people who made Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo, however, I do own this fic.

Here, I will use the manga names, rather than the Japanese anime or English dub names.

Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo

Don Patchi Poppa Rocks

Tokoro no Tennosuke Jelly Jiggler

Hepokkomaru Gasser

Beauty Beauty

Softon Softon

(The small white character, who is so adorable) Dengakuman

(Bo-bobo's archrival, with the pompadour) Gunkan

(The blond guy who can lock people's hearts, and is Poppa Rocks's godson) Hatenkou

(Gunkan's henchman, blond hair girl with a cross shirt) Suzi

Gyorai Girl Torpedo Girl

(A hairy-legged man with a white sheet over him who likes to flash a lot) Serviceman

--

"aaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Our heroes were screaming at the top of their lungs, as they were traversing the strobing neon colors of the tunnel-way. Many bright and even velvety colors glazed and blinded their poor retinas...

"Oh man! The colors, guys! The colors!" Poppa and Jelly were yelling in a daze of sorts.

"I think I'm color-blind..." Bo-bobo sadly muttered to himself.

"WHAT?" Beauty looked at him strangely.

"Oh wait... my shades are just a little dirty." He pulled out a little handkerchief and as he pulled off his shades, he quickly jetted them back on. "AAAAHH! The colors! They burn my eyes!"

An apparent (...) bubble crossed over the other's heads.

When the heroes will land, no one will ever know...

"Hey guys!" Jelly cried out in excitement. "I can see ground..." His excitement turned into sudden panic. "ABOUT TEN FEET AWAY!"

As they began to plummet towards the grassy field that's closing in, the blue man unrealistically slowed time to a near halt, and landed on his feet with a feather-light dive. The others landed too fast on the ground, and getting face-faulted with the blades of grass.

"AUGH! The grass is cutting me!" Poppa Rocks screamed in pain, true to his word with scratch marks all over his body.

"Is everyone okay?" Bo-bobo asked.

Jelly sighed in relief. "I finally made it someplace without me getting hurt or injured in any--" Before he could say anymore, another form fell right on top of Jelly, crushing him down to a sliver. "OH MAN!"

"God-daddy!"

The man wearing an orange shirt, black pants, and a white/pink striped scarf, with short, blond and spiky hair stared right at the little candy man. He pocketed his gold key, and started running towards him.

"God-daddy!" The man yelled joyfully.

"Hatenkou!" Poppa replied in the same manner, running off towards him too.

"God-daddy!"

"Hatenkou!"

"GOD-DADDY!" Hatenkou's voice was now of rage.

"HATENKOU!" Poppa Rocks snarled.

Both of them struck each other with big fists to their cheeks, each bearing a slight grin, before covering each other with flurries of fists. The great afro-ed Bo-bobo walked up to where they were fighting, and pulls out a weapon!

"Fist of the Shaky Shake Hair!" Bo-bobo yelled as he stretched and crumpled up Jelly into the shape of a paper fan. "BO-BO JELLY HARISEN!" And with that, he slapped the hell out of the feuding godson and godfather.

"Bo-bobo, honestly, stop messing me up!" Beauty panicked.

--

Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo: Video Crisis!

The first Net Realm! We are Tourists, and yet we can't stop Destroying!

--

"Ow..." Poppa Rocks smoothed his cheek where the 'fan' slapped him. "Seriously Hatenkou, what're you doing here?"

"It's actually a perfectly logical and sensible story, god-daddy. You see--"

Hatenkou started speaking very, very fast as he was explaining how he saw the gang jump into the bucket, and how he soon jumped inside when he saw his dear godfather Poppa Rocks jump in, and how he stepped on a squirrel before he even saw what happened.

"--And that's what happened!"

"Well, he covered that up in about 10 seconds." Gasser muttered to himself.

"THAT POOR SQUIRREL!" Bo-bobo squealed, as his afro popped open to show a hospital scene. It contained an injured lady squirrel with pretty eyelashes and a pink bow, with her boyfriend squirrel by her bedside.

"WHAT! NOT THOSE SQUIRRELS AGAIN!" Beauty freaked.

"Darling! Speak to me!" Boy Squirrel said, clutching his girl's hand.

"I'll be fine..." She responded weakly, coughing in tune with her health. "Though the big footprint will be scarred on my back, I'll be healthy again in a couple of days."

"I will never leave your side, my darling..."

Hatenkou walked up to the scene, his body overshadowing the poor rodents. "I am SO sorry about this, squirrel-san." He had a look of repentence on his face. "I beg of you, if there is anything I can do to make up for all of this, I will be glad to do it!" His thoughts became visuals. "I'll mow your lawn! Become your personal maid! Fight for justice in your name!"

"YOU WEAKLING!" Poppa Rocks slammed his fist... shaped club on the top of his head. His tone became low, as he turned around, mocking a local mobster. "You cannot be my godson..."

"God-daddy, no!" The blond scarfer bawled, clamping his arms around the candy's leg.

"There is one little thing..." Girl Squirrel added, as she beckoned Poppa and Hatenkou over. "It's to..."

"SCENE OVER!" Bo-bobo screamed, as he launched the two rodents off his afro-dome, sending them screaming into the sky, cuing out with a twinkle.

"Nothing I can say will relieve this damn tension inside me..." Beauty muttered in defeat.  
"Where are we exactly?" Beauty looked around, seeing grass, trees, clouds, sunshine, Jelly and Poppa posing on a stand in two-piece swimsuits, a cobblestone path... "WHAT THE HELL?"

"Is this the Bo Modeling Agency audition?" Poppa, with lipstick and make-up, asked innocently.

"You are correct you beautiful things, you!" Bo-bobo in a business suit and fluffy mustache confirmed. He pulls out a camera, and starts snapping away. "That's the good stuff! Work your bodies! I LOVE IT!"

Beauty only sighed, but then started to over-react when she sees herself on the stage, donning a blue one-piece swimsuit. "HOW THE HECK DID I SEGUAY INTO THIS?"

Gasser, however, was stunned by the loveliness of Beauty in a swimsuit, and blushed to the point where he collapsed in natural boyish daydreams. Hatenkou just grabbed a stick and started to poke him. Suddenly, a judge's booth appeared with Bo-bobo and two other business suit-wearing, mustachioed men.

"Step forward, auditionees." Bo-bobo called out, as Poppa, Jelly, and the unnerved Beauty stepped closer. "You all did very well, but unfortunately, only one candidate is needed."

Nothing happened, for five minutes. Hatenkou, a revived Gasser, and the two squirrels who were previously flung into eternity, were all nearly dying with tension. Suddenly, Beauty and Poppa Rocks were thrown into the air by springboards underneath them. As they landed on the gawking spectators, Jelly started squealing girlishly.

"Congratulations, Jelly Jiggler." Bo-bobo said. "You have met our standard requirements."

"Requirements?" Jelly asked in confusion.

Bo-bobo nodded. "You see the Bo Modeling Agency audition was really a front. We know you are the only one who can stop the alien invasion of the Blue Knees."

Everyone just stared slack-jawed at him, with Jelly strongly reacting. "WHAT! I CAN'T FIGHT ALIENS!"

"Then you're a quitter!" Bo-bobo suddenly busted out of his suit, grabbed the booth, judges and all, and slapped the blue guy very hard.

"Sure, slap him when you can't follow up on your craziness!" Beauty yelled.

Poppa Rocks pointed out to the road. "C'mon gang! Let's get going!"

Sighing with relief, Beauty smiled. "Thank you! Someone agrees that we should get going!"

"TO THE CANDY STORE!" Poppa suddenly sprouted a beanie hat, pointing to Jelly with his Nu-pretzel car. The Nu kanji character was all over the red vehicle. Ignoring Beauty's sigh, Jelly took off his shades and put out a cigarette. He was about to say something, but then got clobbered by Bo-bobo's fist.

"Smoking is bad for you!" the Bonafide protector stated.

"Man, what's wrong with you!" Jelly screamed, his cheek swollen. "In anyways, let's get going, group! Hop in!"

So in no time flat, Bo-bobo, Poppa, Gasser, Beauty, and Hatenkou were all just lazing in the confines of the Nu-pretzel car. Jelly was driving confidently, pulling down the roof, and turning it into a convertible. The only girl in the group looked up, seeing the sky starting to look digitized, seeing the hues and squares clearly.

"I don't like the sky..." Beauty said in a worried tone.

"Drives in convertibles seem to plot a more romantic setting," Hatenkou muttered to no one in particular, although Gasser blushed at the mention. "It helps to convey a deep and mutual feeling between two people who more than enjoy their company with each other. But really, it only works when it's a sunset."

"SKY INPUT ACKNOWLEDGED." A loud mechanical voice boomed out loud. "INPUT NEW SKY SETTING: SUNSET."

The very sky stopped being blue and turned to black. Then, orange and deep yellow started painting themselves along the no-longer black void, mimicking a sunset.

"Now THAT'S scary!" Beauty cried.

Poppa Rocks whistled in awe. "Wicked!" An idea bulb appeared on the top of his head, as he launched it into the ocean that suddenly appeared. "I hope it rains candy and lawyers!"

"What?" Jelly said with a pinch of dread.

"WEATHER INPUT ACKNOWLEDGED." The mechanical voice boomed again. "INPUT WEATHER: CANDY AND LAWYER RAIN."

True to the word, wrapped candy, chocolate bars, and lawyers with briefcases started raining down, covering the road with messes of confectionary and semi-deleted sprites of lawyers.

"Man..." Poppa Rocks said in a depressed way. "I was only kidding about the candy..."

"YOU WANTED TO SEE PEOPLE CRUSHING THEMSELVES ON THE PAVEMENT?" Beauty freaked out.

"Great! Just perfect! This makes driving ten times terrible!" Jelly angrily yelled, as he hit many chocolate slicks and ran over four near-deleted suited gentlemen. "To think, my insurance won't cover this."

A short bald guy was suddenly running very fast beside the car, avoiding the falling debris. "You got that right, Mr. Jiggler. You see--"

"The man's trying to drive!" Bo-bobo yells, as he summons his long nose hairs. "Fist of the Nose Hair!"

"Not while I'm driving, man!"

Jelly's plea fell on ignorant ears, as the short bald man was wrapped around in the afro man's nose hairs. "Bo-bobotapult! FIRE!" He flung the man into the air, heading towards the ocean.

"At least..." The monologue of the short bald guy began. "I can join my family..." He hits the water, just as a blue whale rises up and gulps the man.

"Was that a whale?" Beauty wondered.

"Yes, a whale." Hatenkou established.

"Wait a minute... why didn't I think of this before?" The lychee-flavored man looked up. "I want it to be sunny!"

"WEATHER INPUT DENIED."

"WHAT! WHY NOT?" Jelly yelled in identifiable anger.

"BECAUSE I DON'T LIKE YOU."

"I HATE THIS PLACE!"

Before Jelly could rant on, a large explosion threw them off the car and onto the road. Everyone ate pavement, as two mysterious figures appeared out of the smoke of the wreckage.

"Took you a bit to get here." A gruff voice.

"Indeed." A frail and innocent voice.

One of the two was a 6' 4" tall man, wearing a fur vest, gloves, and pants, with a muscled body and spiked hair. The other was a 5' tall woman, wearing a red short skirt, blond wavy hair covering her front like a shirt, white elbow-length gloves and red-white striped stockings with ruby shoes.

"Who are you?" Beauty asked, as she and the others were getting up.

The buff man chuckled to himself. "I am the muscle master of the road. I am called," he flexed his muscle-bound arms. "MUSCLE CRUSH MILDER!"

The femme counterpart bowed courteously. "And I am Mitch."

Everyone just stood in silence. The fellow called Milder looked at his partner. "Hey!" He twiddled his fingers in a disappointed voice. "You're not using your intimidating name..."

"They have to have intimidating names?" Gasser asked himself.

"Fine..." She (?) posed right beside the tall guy. "And I am SOUL DEVOURER MITCH, the spiritual master of the road."

"We waited here for a good few months for your expected arrival, Bo-bobo." Milder said, as he pointed out. "Buzz from the Web said that you fizzled out our good pal Staticor."

"Is this for revenge?" Beauty asked. "Staticor told us that he was testing Bo-bobo to see if he was the one to save Cyberspace from the Bald Empire!"

"Yes." Mitch continued. "However, he was only your first test. Your next test, will be to defeat the both of us in OUR realm..." Bo-bobo and friends, however, were too busy racing slot cars to pay any mind. "PAY ATTENTION!"

"C'mon... C'MON!" Poppa Rocks started to panic, but it was too late. His slot car had unfortunately kicked the bucket... The bucket had water and it shorted out the entire slot car track. Suddenly, the other three miniature cars got off their magnetic rails, and started pounding the heck out of Poppa's car. "WHAT THE FACK?"

"Show him the works, blue!" Jelly cheered.

"You can do it, stripey!" Hatenkou cheered.

"We are the champions!" Bo-bobo spastically threw the slot car track into the Soul Devourer's pretty face. "So, it's another test?"

"Now you pay attention..." the blond femme cursed, but then looked to the group, ignoring the big dent on the forehead. "Yes. You see, the enemy has already adapted to the environments here. They have even reached to close your level, and maybe even higher."

"I see..." Bo-bobo took in the information with a serious look.

"And to make sure that you all survive, you ALL have to know how to fight here." The Muscle Master pointed to Beauty. "You're a real liability to your friends, you know that?"

Beauty looked away, confirming the fact that the big guy stated. She never learned how to fight alongside Bo-bobo and the others, and had to rely on them to save her. The Soul Devourer suddenly appeared in front of her face. "Do not worry, Miss Beauty. I'll take good care of you."

With a snap of Mitch's fingers, the both of them disappeared.

"BEAUTY!" Gasser cried out.

"Don't worry." Milder said. "Mitch won't do anything to your little girlfriend. Mitch's just gonna train her to fight as well, so she won't be a burden to ya." Unfortunately, Bo-bobo and friends had their attention distracted by shiny crayons. "MAN, YOU GUYS ARE TERRIBLE!"

"I knew it! I knew someone would agree with me and say Beauty and Gasser were an item!" Jelly gloated, while opening his palms (?). "Okay guys, pay up." Sadly, no one in the group even made the attempt to get out their wallets. Jelly sighed. "Oh well, back to coloring shinies."

"I'm gonna color me a baseball diamond!" Poppa childishly giggled, as he drew a makeshift baseball diamond on the paper in red crayon. "Maybe it'll play with me!"

Suddenly, the red creation popped out of the sheet and ignited a flaming punch to Poppa Rock's face. "WHY DID YOU MAKE ME LIKE THIS?" The diamond screamed.

"AUGH!"

"I'm making me a baseball player!" Bo-bobo added, drawing a blue stick figure in a baseball hat and bat.

"IF YOU LOVED ME, YOU'D END MY SUFFERING!" The misshapen stick figure bursted out of his paper prison, and batted Poppa Rocks with a super-charged ice swing, sending him out of the ballpark!

In announcer's garb, Hatenkou looked up into the sky. "And it's going... going... GONE!"

"That's just wrong!" Gasser yelled out.

The diamond laid down, as the stick figure rounded 1st base, 2nd base, 3rd base, and a magical thing happened on the home plate. They started channeling their energies, and fused together, to become a purple-colored diamond-shaped baseball player.

"Fathers, despite what I had said before," the being only known now as Baseball Diamond Player stated in a low, apologetic voice. "I now feel very grateful that I am alive."

"You take care of yourself, uh, 'sons'." Bo-bobo placed a hand on his shoulder. "Make us proud in the national circuits."

Poppa leaned on his tiptoes and patted his other shoulder. "Never forget your roots, young ones."

"Uh, God-daddy... Weren't you just kissing the stratosphere?" Hatenkou asked oddly.

"Yeah, I did, but she's a little butch."

Meanwhile, nearing the space, a big face with womanly eyes and puffy red lips checked itself in the mirror. "Come back for some more, stud." The manly-sounding face boomed.

(Movie Preview: Trials and Tribs on and off the Diamond Player)

"Word play!" Hatenkou stupidly yelled out.

A brilliant sunset, as the Baseball Diamond Player walked off towards it with his bat behind his back. Bo-bobo and Poppa looked at their creation(s) with proud eyes.

(End Preview. Trials and Tribs on and off the Diamond Player coming out February 2006)

"Really, anything I could say would only ADD to the insanity." Gasser sighed.

"HELLO?" Milder rudely called out.

"Yes, we'll take your test, and show you our ultimate powers of teamwork!" Bo-bobo shouted with vigor and loudness, with the other four behind him entering their fighting stances.

--

What has happened to Beauty?

Will we ever find out where our Bo heroes ended up?

What will become of the outcome of these two opponents?

And will Baseball Diamond Player get over his fear, and win the state championship?

"WHAT! HE WAS ONLY CREATED FIVE MINUTES AGO!" Gasser, get out of here...

"That's our boys!" Bo, Poppa, beat it.

Tune in next time! 


	3. Denominating 3

Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo: Video Crisis!

Disclaimer: I don't own the series, any video game characters that make cameos, or the people who made Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo, however, I do own this fic.

Here, I will use the manga names, rather than the Japanese anime or English dub names.

Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo

Don Patchi Poppa Rocks

Tokoro no Tennosuke Jelly Jiggler

Hepokkomaru Gasser

Beauty Beauty

Softon Softon

(The small white character, who is so adorable) Dengakuman

(Bo-bobo's archrival, with the pompadour) Gunkan

(The blond guy who can lock people's hearts, and is Poppa Rocks's godson) Hatenkou

(Gunkan's henchman, blond hair girl with a cross shirt) Suzu

Gyorai Girl Torpedo Girl

(A hairy-legged man with a white sheet over him who likes to flash a lot) Serviceman

--

A dark, shadowy base. A throne where a single individual sits calmly, clad in giant shoulderpads and a blond afro.

"This world..." He spoke louder. "is CORRUPT!" He spoke even louder. "So much therefore, that it demands our correction!"

Poppa Rocks, also donning large shoulderpads and a blond wig with eyelashes, belted out loud. "HAAAAAAIIIIILLL BO-BOBOZZO!" As his cheer started to wean down, he started to cry passionately.

"Senior Rocks," Jelly asked, with a black wig and large shoulder pads of his own. "Why do you cry as such?"

"I... I'm just filled with so much pride for the great semi-secretive organization BOBOCOSS, Jel-chan!" The candy raised his fist in the air, then slamming it on the ground, causing the floor around him to crack, and crumble beneath him. "BAKA SURVIVOR!" Followed up with a big crash.

Gasser sighed as he watched from the distance, when the sound of monkeys suddenly filled the air from the pit. "Can we just start now?"

"WHY ARE THERE BABOONS IN HERE!"

--

From the previous chapters, Bo-bobo and friends simply wanted to relax and enjoy the happy pursuit of camping--I mean, lodging in a winter wonderland, when suddenly, a mysterious being named Staticor appeared from a mysterious realm, aka the TV. Using the powers of teamwork, and his mighty Fist of the Nose Hair techniques,

"MAGICAL POPPA CANNONS! FIRE!"

Bo-bobo and friend(s) extracted the true purpose of Staticor's arrival into this world, and the eventual death of the being. His remains, however, brought the gang into a new world, filled with strange wonders, possible Blue Kneed aliens, and the reuniting of Poppa and his godson Hatenkou.

"GOD-DADDY!"

"HATENKOU!"

Driving down the beautiful roads in the Nu Pretzel car, our heroes came across a SLIGHT problem with the roads and weather. Coming across the folly of an insurance dealer, two squirrels, and the now famous Baseball Diamond Player, our heroes currently face the dreaded duo of the road, who are also good acquaintances to the late Staticor.

"MUSCLE CRUSH MILDER!"

"SOUL DEVOURER MITCH!"

How will the tide flow for this match?

--

Soul Devourer Mitch was staring Beauty straight in the eye, as they were transported to a strange battleground, where it was small, confining, and the only illuminated thing that wasn't the both of them was a small section of floor with a glowing eye.

"Welcome to my realm, miss Beauty." Mitch said coldly.

"I can see up your pants." The eye said in a perverse tone.

"PIG!" Beauty stomped on the floor.

"OW!"

"Now Miss Beauty, you know why you're here, right?" The blond-haired individual asked. "And don't you dare say that you're not one who wants to fight. In order to survive here, everyone must do what they can to ensure the survival of the others."

"But..." Beauty turned her head away. "I'm not a fighter. I can't fight. I was never taught to." She looked at the red and blond femme across from her. "Besides, I'm weak compared to Bo-bobo and the others!"

"You know, I thought the same thing when I started training myself." Mitched muttered, looking at the confused Beauty. "I was sick of my family, and how they treated me... just because they didn't want a son..."

"Wait a minute..." Beauty had to take a minute or so to take in the--"YOU'RE REALLY A BOY!" ... Nevermind.

"I'm afraid so..." He (!) hid his femme face in the hair.

"You mean I looked up a DUDE!" The eye on the floor gawked somehow.

"STOP PEEPING!" The pink-haired girl stamped on the ground again, causing the ground eye a lot of pain. With it's dying scream, it became a plain white floor.

"Now you see how different this world is, compared to the real world." He pointed a hair-wrapped finger outward. "Miss Beauty, this is why you must learn to fend for yourself. Your friends won't always come to your aid, and you just can't rely on others to save you." Mitch's arms were spread wide. "Cast aside fear, reliance, and worry, and only focus on the fight."

"Wait...!"

Beauty knew she was in for it when she saw two white flames glowing in the palms of the cross-dressing Soul Devourer. "For now, your training begins!" The flames grew larger. "Fist of the Hungry Soul! SOULFUL FLASH FIRE!" With this, large rippling circles were launched at a great speed towards the sole female.

--

Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo: Video Crisis!

Trials of the New World! CAN WE PULL IT OFF! ... We hope so! 3

--

"MWAHAHAHA! You and your gang are determined to win, I'll give you that much!" The muscle master, Muscle Crush Milder complimented on the other side of the Bo-bobo group. As true to his word, everyone of them were dressed in rowdy schoolyard punk attire, complete with wooden swords. The big guy bugged out. "WHAT GREAT COORDINATION!"

"Let's get 'em, minna!" Bo-bobo yelled aloud. "Because you took away our cutie mascot--"

"I THOUGHT I WAS THE MASCOT!" Poppa Rocks yelled in a hurt tone.

"We won't let you get away with a simple smug."

"I'll get 'em first, chief!" Jelly announced, as he stepped ahead of everyone else. "Although..." He was calmly standing, amidst... the continuous falling chocolate and business suited people. "I WOULD LIKE THE WEATHER TO BE CLEAR!"

"WEATHER INPUT DENIED." The computerized voice said outloud.

He pointed his fist to the digitized sunset sky. "YOU WANT A PIECE OF ME?"

"ANSWER TO QUESTION: BRING IT, BEE-YATCH!"

"Hmm... Damn thing must be having a glitch." Milder spoke as he pointed his fist to the sky, a green aura channeling around his arm. "Fist of the Muscle Initiate..." A green beam fired from his hand. "WICKED FIX!" The beam suddenly took on the shape of 'Wicked Fix', and it dissipated in the sky, as the 'rain' suddenly disappeared.

Normal, Jelly extends his hand. "Hey thanks! That's been bothering me since last chapter."

"FOOL!" The big guy intimidated the shuddering Jiggler. "The enemy will be merciless!" His arm now pointed at Jelly. "Fist of the Muscle Initiate! STRETCH MUSCLE!" His mighty muscle beam now took on the phrase 'Ultimate Pain Lv. 1', and proceeded to clobber poor... Hatenkou, who was just calmly reading a book.

"OH MAN! MY TITMOUSE!" Hatenkou yelped from the sudden smack.

Jelly then laughed maniacally. "You MISSED! How did you miss! I was three feet in front of you!" He continued to laugh, unaware that the energy was making a U-turn, and punches Jelly's face right off behind his body. When the circle of his face hits the floor next to the mighty Milder's feet, he sighed. "Okay, I'll stop gloating now."

"Get this thing away from me." Milder grabbed the chunk of Jelly's face, and tossed it into the sea. "Your petty tactics won't work on me!"

"Petty, you say?" Bo-bobo was shocked. He turned around and clotheslined the closest person. "Petty, your strategies failed us!"

The one who got clobbered was Poppa, wearing a business suit and skirt, with make-up. "And to think, I tried my best for you, you tramp!" He started crying. "I should never have helped you or that hunk Poppa Rocks out!"

"THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT!" The muscle-head bugged out.

"Yeah, I'm just as lost." Gasser muttered.

"AND TO THINK, I DID EVERYTHING I COULD TO HELP YOU! YOU DON'T APPRECIATE ME!" Poppa grabbed the lifeless Jelly body, and clubbed Milder's face with it, knocking him into a girder. The lychee body suddenly evaporated in his hands. He was freaking out, as he went back to normal. "WHAT HAPPENED TO JELLY!"

"Why gang, I'm right here." Bo-bobo and pals were delighted to hear the voice of their good pal Jelly, but were then frightened like heck and stepping back in primal fear at what they saw. "Fist of the Shaky Shake! BODY REFORM: BLUE JELLY WHALE!" Matching the technique name, Jelly's face was plastered on the top of a jelly whale. "WHADAYA THINK OF THIS MOVE?"

"I got 'em, cap'n!" Hatenkou pulled out a harpoon gun, seeing Jelly's and Gasser's eyes light up with unbridled fear. "HARPOON CANNON, FIRE!"

The mighty attached spear lodged itself into the great light blue beast's side, spewing out liquidy jelly. "OW! MY PANCREAS!" Jelly cried out, as he collapsed, sending a tidal wave coming at the bridge.

"Like OMG, you got him!" Bo-bobo cheered.

Milder, however, was rubbing his head. "Was I just knocked out?" He saw up, and was drenched by a tidal wave. He was soaked head to toe, but unfortunately, was unfazed. "Meh, I've seen worse."

"Scared now?" Poppa Rocks pointed at Milder, speaking in a tone that was reaching a level of intimidation, while his friends were reeling in the Jellis Jigglis (Jelly Jiggler; bad attempt at a scientific name). "Don't take us lightly, buddy! We'll mop the floor with your ugly mug, and it'll be so bad, that you'll have to beg us to NOT have my best pal Bo-bobo to beat you up, right mang?"

"I don't know..." Bo-bobo suddenly donned a two-piece bathing suit, crumpling on the ground and turning his face away. "If I can reach my potential."

"WHAT THE HELL BO-BOBO?" The gang reacted in one loud voice, sending the blond afro flying away.

--

Meanwhile...

"Fist of the Hungry Soul! SOULFUL LIGHT BASH!"

A large white ball became a clenched fist, as it wrapped it's fingers around the battered Beauty. The girl was struggling desperately to break free from the energized digits.

"Please Miss Beauty, fight back." He voiced his concern out to her. "Break away, strike with techniques, repel my attacks, do something, please!"

"Stop this..." Beauty was near tears, still desperately struggling to break free.

"I will not soften my assault just to let you take a breather. If I keep up at my current rate, I will end up taking your life."

"But, I don't want to fight..." Beauty was running short of breath. She was razed by soul fires and soul shocks, as well as being bashed into many invisible walls.

"You must! What would happen if you were the only one left? No one would be around to save you... WHO WOULD YOU RELY ON?"

The words strung harshly to the pink-haired girl. Bo-bobo, Poppa, Jelly, Hatenkou, and even Gasser... she knew if she had at least ONE of her friends around, she would be alright. Now, she faced a dilemma... if she keeps this frame of mind, she will die. And if she doesn't do anything now, that fact will come to life.

"Gasser... Bo-bobo..." Tears were starting to come down her eyes.

"Huh?"

"I DON'T WANT TO BE A BURDEN TO YOU GUYS!"

Suddenly, a white light illuminated the area...

--

"Fist of the Poppa Arts!" The candy yelled aloud as he charged at the muscle master. He jumped up into the air, as he pulled out a witch's hat with a blond wig attached, and a broom. "POPPA RADIAL STARS! LV. 1" He summoned a volley of energy stars, as it circled around the big man, surrounding him within ten strips of the attack.

"Hmph... am I supposed to be impressed by an imprisoning technique?" Milder spat on the ground.

"You should be!" Bonafide Bo-bobo charged at the trapped man, dashing at him... with his head sticking out of a tiny bus. "Now take your Bo-nafide beating like a MAN!" The little Bo bus launched a jet pack from behind it's back, and careened it at a fast rate into the burly Milder, knocking him and his star prison into the ground.

Jelly, with a big bandage on his side, certainly not involving a large harpoon when he was in his whale form, started cheering. "Way to go, Bo-bobo!"

"It's not over yet." He stood up, staring at Milder breaking free from the star prison.

Gasser held a cloud of yellow gas in his palm. "Then, I'll just make it over!" He and Hatenkou lept at the large man, as the channeled gas ball increased in mass. "GUST BUS GAS BLAST!" The gas became a wispy beam, and slammed into the foe's abdomen, pushing him back.

"It's my turn now!" Hatenkou squealed as he brought out his key, and thrusted it sharply against the air. "Fist of the Heart Lock! CHANNEL KEYS!" A large keyhole appeared, and eight energy blasts fired out from it, rising into the air. Predicted, the first two shots plummeted and nailed Milder hard in the chest.

Unfortunately, the other six fell at an incredible rate towards Bo-bobo. "JELLY GUARD!" The afro man yelled aloud as he grabbed the lychee man and used him to block three of the shots aiming at the front.

"WHYYYYYYYYY!" Jelly screamed in agony.

As for the three about to nail Bo-bobo in the rear-end: "POPPA ROCKS DEFENSE!" His nose hairs wrapped themselves around Poppa, and he used him to block the other three backfires.

"OWIES!"

"Oopsies..." Hatenkou giggled weakly. "I guess 75 of my attack backfired on me."

"THAT'S NOT FUNNY, BASTARD!" Jelly, Poppa, and Bo-bobo harped, with Bo-bobo covered in the most bandages.

"You weren't even injured by the attack, Bo-bobo!" Gasser yelled.

"That was pretty good," Milder scoffed, and spat out some blood. "I can imagine how your little friend might be holding up against meh pal, Mitch."

"I swear," Gasser growled. "If you hurt her..."

"There's no need to worry about her, anymore..."

Everyone turned to a beaten Mitch, his femme looks and face bloodied, holding himself against a girder. Beside him was a collapsed Beauty.

"BEAUTY!" Gasser's voice filled with deep concern, rushing over as fast as he can and held her very close, seeing the injuries on her being. "What have you done to her!"

"I had to rough her up... So that she could unleash her potential..." With that, the strange Soul Devourer crumpled down to the hard steel.

"ELDER BROTHER MITCH!" Milder expressed his biggest concern, as he looked at Bo-bobo and the group. "Don't think that this match is over anytime soon!"

"You're so right..." Bo-bobo added. He braced into his fighting stance, a familiar golden aura surrounding him. "Because this fight will end now!"

"THAT LADY WAS A MAN!" Hatenkou and Jelly exasperated themselves.

"I knew she was faking it." Poppa calmly stated.

"With the power of my friends, associates, and Jelly--"

"HEY!" The Jiggler was insulted.

"We will overcome your test, and with the power of teamwork, our energy and powers will soon become one!" His aura, alongside Beauty's, Gasser's, Poppa's, Jelly's, and Hatenkou's, were channeled above his head. "FIST OF THE UNIFIED NOSE HAIR!" The combined energies started to take on a, um... INTERESTING form. "BO-BOBO FRIENDSHIP CHIMERA!"

"AUGH! IT's DISGUSTING!" The rest of the gang panicked.

With just one eye popping out of the beast, it had a determined look. "I understand, Friendship Chimera! You must sacrifice yourself to ensure us victory!" It's eye gawked out of it's socket, as Bo-bobo mystically launched the ball of energy at the exhausted muscle master, coating him in the energy.

"I see... so you have passed our trials, Bo-bobo..." Milder said weakly, picking up Mitch in his arms. He then smiled with as much enthusiasm as he could muster. "We're counting on all of you, to save the world."

"Hey guys! I got my car fixed!" Jelly announced as he showed off a sky-blue Nu-Pretzel Car. "Shall we get driving or what?"

"Take care of yourselves, friends." Bo-bobo raised a thumbs-up to the both of them, as the gang walked... towards the bus stop, just as a public transit vehicle appeared.

"Welcome to Ne-kanji Bus Transit System, the system that's NOT like the Nu-Pretzel vehicles at all!" The bus driver chirped happily.

"WHAT!" The blue Jelly looked angrily, as his hatred for the Ne kanji character began to burn. He then saw the bus drive away. "HEY! WAIT FOR ME!" He got into his car, and drove after them.

--

Where will the Ne-kanji Bus take them now?

Will there be inevitable danger, a warm puppy, or a menacing villain?

Or will it be all three of those at once?

"OMG!" Poppa screamed like a girl, as an angry puppy wielding a large machete started chasing him.

Will we see the duo of Milder and Mitch ever again?

And how was the mighty Soul Devourer defeated at the hands of Beauty?

Gasser walks up to the screen. "We'll see, next time!" 


	4. Adding the 4

Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo: Video Crisis! 

Disclaimer: I don't own this series, any series that makes any cameo appearances, or the people who have made Bo-bobo. I do, however, own this fic.

Check from the previous chapters on how I named each character, so I won't have to do it again on the upcoming chapters.

--

"It's so nice to have you boys back home, even if it's just for a little breakfast." A woman with greying blond hair said, as she was on the stove making pancakes. "Tell me, what was it like since I last saw you boys?"

"Well," Muscle Crush Milder started as he began setting the table. "We encountered that Bo-bobo fellow, and we got walloped completely."

"At least, you got beaten by Bo-bobo and his friends. I got beaten by that girl..." Soul Devourer Mitch groaned in defeat.

"But it was an exercise for her to unlock her latent powers. Pass me the forks and knives, elder bro."

The mother laughed at herself. "You got beaten by a girl... You could've been more lady-like to that young girl."

"Heh, why would I have?" The cross-dresser's voice started getting a bit higher. "Not my fault my parents made me dress up like a girl, declared me a woman in my birth certificate, and kept giving me dresses on my BIRTHDAY!"

"Well... I was foolish back then... besides, if you hated that, why do you still wear it, my tranny son?"

"Okay, Ma, that was mean." Milder defended. "You have no right to call my elder brother that!"

"No, that old hag is right." Mitch scoffed a chuckle. "I'm gonna change myself for the better... I will shed this pretty cocoon, and rise up to be, the greatest Soul Devourer our family ever--" QUICK WOODEN SPOON TO THE HEAD! "OW!"

"Don't sass me, boy." The mother angrily stated. Then she became all motherly again. "Now let's have some pancakes, sons."

"Yes, Ma." Both said.

--

"Who was right? Tell me, who was right?" Jelly asked.

Everyone said in a sigh. "You were."

"Damn right!" Jelly snootily acted. "Although Ne-type vehicles can carry a lot more, they use up a lot of gasoline. And everyone knows that Nu-type vehicles, such as my Nu-Pretzel Car, while lacking effective passenger seats and evil, is very conservative on our natural resources. That, and I squealed with glee when that bus broke down."

Leaving a destitute Ne-kanji Bus behind, with the other passengers, Bo-bobo and his friends continued on through the cybery roads of life on the blue Nu-Pretzel Car. Hatenkou, Gasser, and Beauty shared the backseat, looking up at the fixed blue sky, while Bo-bobo and Poppa Rocks we're... playing Hungry Hungry Hippos, manning two hippos each, much to the chagrin of the driving Jiggler.

"WILL YOU GUYS STOP DOING THAT!" The lychee jelly man yelled.

"We just need one more each to win!" They both said in a panic. "I WIN!" They glared angrily at each other, as they started pulling each other's hair, and calling each other names.

"I DON'T NEED THIS RIGHT NOW!"

"Um, Gasser," Beauty looked at the silver-haired boy. "When we get a spare break, can you help me do some, well, training, since I can supposedly fight now?"

Blushing, he smiled shyly. "O-of course, Beauty." Meanwhile, Hatenkou was thinking of thoughts not suitable for this site. Suddenly, the Car came to a screeching halt. "What's wrong?"

"We got a road block." The road block ahead of them was... an old man on the ground, clutching his heart. Ignoring Beauty's plea of 'We have to help him', Jelly kept driving at normal speed, as a purple aura started channeling around himself. "Super Shaky Shake Fist!"

"WHAT'RE YOU DOING!" Beauty yelled.

Suddenly, four serpent-like dragons came out of Jelly's back, waving in the motorized winds. "JELLY JIGGLER HYDRA STRIKE!" He launched the dragons towards the old man, knocking him up and into the mountain distance. Jelly's tears started flowing like waterfalls. "I remember my true style! The Fist of the Shaky Shake was all I could remember until this very moment--" His thoughts were cut off until a lady-like punch... from Bo-bobo slammed into Jelly's soft melon. "OW!"

"YOU'RE REALLY SOMETHING, YOU KNOW THAT RIGHT JELLY?" Beauty spazzed, until Gasser gave her a pair of binoculars, and she started looking through it, to see that same old man, lying happily in a hospital bed.

"Thanks to you, I was able to get my triple heart bypass in time." The old man said. "God bless you, Jelly Man."

Beauty, of course, just gawked endlessly through the binoculars, as Gasser patted her shoulder.

--

Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo: Video Crisis!

Making Millions of Mole Hills from one Mountain! Demolishing Geology! WEE!

--

The Nu-Pretzel Car was driving happily, carrying its four human passengers along with its master, and an orange candy. The soft grass countryside was a welcome sight to them, having left behind the nonsense of the bridge. The fields were alive with flowers, wheat fields, and tall shrubs of grass.

"Man... is this a good time to be alive, eh God-Daddy?" Hatenkou asked, as he reached over the side of the car to pluck a random flower. "Ah, smells so good."

Suddenly, a big bee came out of the plant. "Why thanks for the compliment, you little slice of Heaven on toast." It spoke in a sultry lisp.

"WAAAAAHHH!" The blond-haired guy tossed the flower aside quickly, seeing it explode. "Whew, that was close."

"I knew it..." Poppa said, in a disappointed tone. "You were always afraid of commitment, weren't ya, Hatenkou?"

"I'm not ready to settle down, God-Daddy!"

"OH YES YOU ARE!" Poppa was enraged as he leaned in from the front seat as he and Hatenkou started sissy-slapping each other.

"This isn't working!"

The Nu-Pretzel Car was driving happily, carrying its four human passengers along with its master, and an orange candy. The soft grass countryside was a welcome sight to them, having left behind the nonsense of the bridge, as well as feuding Godfather and Godson. The fields were alive with flowers, wheat fields, and tall shrubs of grass, not to mention the people of this quaint cyber realm.

"Welcome to the Ozarks, people!" A hick that looked strangely like Bo-bobo waved them in. "You enjoy our quiet little community, now!"

Beauty looked around, wondering where Bo-bobo was, as she saw a house with two odd Poppa Rocks-like people on a porch.

"Hey Ma!" The male Poppa said. "We got us some passersby! Let's bring the young uns out and wave them in!"

"Alright!" The female Poppa replied, as she waved six little Lil Rocks out.

"Hi!"

"Hi!"

"HI THERE!"

"Take care!"

"You be alright now!"

"Take care of yourselves, y'all!"

"Okay..." Beauty looked disturbed as she saw ahead to see a blue man rocking on a chair.

"They say that around this time of year, the harvest always makes this happy little town of ours prosper in full bloom." The blue man stated.

Here, Beauty freaked out. "JELLY! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE DRIVING!"

And as the Nu-Pretzel Car headed towards the river...

The Nu-Pretzel Car was driving happily, carrying its four human passengers along with its master, and an orange candy. The soft grass countryside was a welcome sight to them, having left behind the nonsense of the bridge, as well as feuding Godfather and Godson, not to mention three soaked humans in the back. The fields were alive with flowers, wheat fields, and tall shrubs of grass, not to mention the people of this quaint cyber realm. As they drove along, they saw a pigeon and a rat eating some seeds and nuts.

"Hey, check that out over there, guys!" Bo-bobo said in amazement.

"Aww, that's adorable!" Beauty squealed, as Gasser blushed from her smile behind her.

"We'll add them to our team!" Poppa Rocks yelled determinedly as he slammed the breaks, sending Jelly flying through his seatbelt and onto the road in two chunks.

"OH MAN THAT CLEAVES!"

"It's a wild Pigeon and Rat!" Poppa got out of the car. He pointed outward. "Go, Bo-bobo!"

"Bo BO BO!" Bo-bobo yelled as he jumped out of the car also, and looking eye to eye with the two creatures.

"You guys really are stupid!" Gasser gawked.

"Bo-bobo! Fist Attack!" The candy commanded.

"BO BO BO BO BO BO!" The afroed man slammed his fist into the poor woodland creatures.

"They're weakened! NOW, CAPTURE CAGE GO!" He tossed two tiny cages at the animals, locking them inside. They were struggling to break free, but we're unfortunate enough and failed. "YES! PIGEON AND RAT ARE OURS!"

"BO BOBO!" The man cheered saying his own name.

"LET THOSE POOR THINGS GO AND LET'S GET BACK ON THE ROAD!" The pink-haired girl screeched.

The Nu-Pretzel Car was driving happily, carrying its four human passengers along with its master, and an orange candy. The soft grass countryside was a welcome sight to them, having left behind the nonsense of the bridge, as well as feuding Godfather and Godson, not to mention three soaked humans in the back. The fields were alive with flowers, wheat fields, and tall shrubs of grass, not to mention the people of this quaint cyber realm. As they drove along--

"Okay, that's just getting really old now..." Beauty was ticked off. Suddenly, the Car runs right over something. "Now what?"

When they all looked back, they saw a flattened rendition of their old companion, the tiny white creature called Dengakuman. He unflattened himself, and walked up to the vehicle, where he immediately jumps in and sits inbetween the pink haired girl and the silver haired boy.

"Hey gang, long time no see." Dengakuman chirped.

"Indeed, it has been a while." Bo-bobo stated. "How'd you get here?"

"Well, I met this one big guy, with a bucket on his head, and he was made of energy, and he told me that my friends we're in danger! So I had to come and help you guys out! With whatever danger you need solving."

"Good to have you aboard!" Bo-bobo cheered.

DENGAKUMAN JOINED YOUR PARTY!

"Cool! Where'd that come from?" Poppa Rocks wondered in excitement.

"I'd rather not think about that..." Beauty sighed, as the car started moving on its smooth ride.

And now the seven of them were driving on a calm dirt path, as they gazed at a beach that appeared to their left, and a mountain blocking their path. The Nu-Pretzel car kept driving deligently. No signs of stopping at all, as they maintain their course into the rocky side of the mountain. Thankfully, a small bump in the ground tossed the Car completely into the air and safely tossing the passengers to the ground.

"Who did that?" Beauty wondered.

"That would be me..."

The gang turned around to see a small brown mole wearing bright shades. His whiskers showed them that he was angry as all heck. "You were about to demolish MY mountain!"

"Who says you get to claim a mountain you little punk?" Poppa snapped at the little guy.

"I have an onwer's certificate." The little rascal brought up a certificate, as Poppa read it, donning a lawyer suit. "You cannot remove it, or even go past it unless you have a vibrant discussion with myself."

"Looks clean to me." He said, putting his glasses away. "But since we're on our way, would you mind letting us drive over it?"

"Over my dead body." The mole threw a fit.

"You dirty little son of a--!" Poppa belted out as Bo-bobo pushed him aside.

"Please, little mole, we have to stop the Bald Empire." Bo-bobo pleaded, still holding the angry candy back.

"Hmm, so you're Bo-bobo and his lackies, huh?" The mole looked up at him. "My name is Moleton Le Flaga, no relation."

"No relation to what?" Beauty asked.

"Hush your cute mouth, missy! I may be a mole, but I know everything! You killed my good acquaintance, Staticor! He owed me fifty bucks!" As images of money signs started crossing all over the mole. "And I needed those fifty bucks to pay back Milder and Mitch, who're good friends of my kin, for twenty-five bucks each! I NEEDED THOSE BUCKS!"

"I'll gauge your strength, so that I may beat you easily!" Jelly yelled triumphantly, as he charged at the little critter. "Super Shaky Shake Fist! JELLY DOUBLE ARM CRUSH!" He clamped his jelly arms together, and slammed them into the earth. Or, it would've been the earth, if little Moleton hadn't grabbed his arms. "Huh?"

"You underestimate my size as well... Pathetic fool..." An orange aura was enveloping the mole. "Burly Mole Fist! MUSCLE EXPAND!" The mole began to bulge its muscles and body, until it was double its size... about the size of Jelly. "And now I will toss you away!" He lifted the Jiggler in his hands, crumpled him up until he was a Jelly ball, and then slam dunked him through a basketball net.

"WHAT THE?" Beauty shocked.

"And that looks like it's a two pointer! What say you, announcer Rocks?" Gasser asked.

"Well, from my point of view..." Poppa Rocks stated. "He didn't do a follow-through somersault... I'm disappointed."

"OH WRETCH!" The angry Moleton crumpled up in despair. "To think, I trained all this time for nothing... I am ashamed to call myself the great Moleton Le Flaga... no relation..."

"No relation to what?" Beauty asked again.

"Okay, I've had it up to here with you, missy! You're going down!" The mole grew angrier, and he launched a shockwave that knocked some ground into her eyes.

"Hey!" Gasser roared. "You mess with her, and you mess with me!"

Jelly roared beside her too. "And anyone who messes with ME, will also get a swift beating!"

And as the three of them stood parallel to the bulked mole, he shrugged. "Very well. A 3-on-1 match will do. Let's get prepared." As he said that, four large spikes came out of the ground, with large cracks inbetween them that made the shape of a rectangle. "Amped Burly Mole Fist! FORCEFIELD ARENA!"

As sudden as the spikes came up, the cracks were coating the boundaries with a pink electrical forcefield, and the ground started to crack and rise from its very foundation. The arena started to rise up slowly, almost tilting the trapped three towards the painful electrofield.

"Hey, he can't do that!" Hatenkou cried.

"We won't let him do this!" Bo-bobo shouted. "Rocks, you ready?"

"I've been waiting for this moment for a long time!" The orange candy stretched his arms out, and channeled his aura around himself. "TRANSFORM..." His spikes, arms and legs were withdrawn into his body, as he shrank in considerable size. "INTO CANDY!"

Beauty looked to the side on the ground. "They're gonna fuse into Boborocks?"

"Oh no you don't!" As Poppa Rocks was about to jump into Bo-bobo's mouth, Dengakuman kicked him aside. "It's my turn!"

"WHHHAAAAAAAAAA--" Before the literal orange candy could say anymore, he got kicked into the electrical field, reverting him back to his bigger self. "OOOOHHH MAN THE SURGE!"

"Now you know how I feel..." Jelly muttered to himself.

"FUSION! TRANSFORM INTO...!"

In a cloud of smoke, Bo-bobo and Dengakuman vanished in a large explosion that took out some nearby trees and mountain.

"Hey! My mountain!" Moleton screeched.

And from the smoke, appeared a lovely figure. Bright and long blond hair, tied in a ponytail at the end, a violet haltertop with sleeves, bracers and boots dotted with hearts, black thigh-high stockings pinned with hearts, a greatly ample bust, and the figure's lovely blue eyes blinked innocently as she pulled out a microphone.

"Pretty Magical Singer, DENBO-CHAN!"

"Oh god, not her again!" Beauty cried out.

"What the hell, Dengakuman?" Poppa Rocks yelled as he approached the newly-fused Denbo-chan.

"Wow... she's pretty..." Hatenkou spoke dreamily. "Can I have your autograph, Ms. Denbo-chan?"

She giggled. "Oh you, of course!" She grabbed the paper, and starts to write her name on it. "Make it out to, Hatenkou, right?"

"You dummy!" The candy pulled out some iron knuckles, and clobbers Hatenkou in the gut. "Don't fall for that charm! That THING is really Bo-bobo!"

"And we certainly don't want any unwanted Yaoi in this story..." Jelly said aloud.

"Well," The singer put a finger to her chin. "I did come into being by using cutie Dengakuman and hunky Bo-bobo as catalysts... Hey... In order to come into being, I had to give up two seperate lives so I could exist! EQUIVALENT EXCHANGE!"

"What's he talking about?" Gasser wondered. Beauty shrugged.

"How long do you have, Ms. Denbo-chan?" Hatenkou asked in worry. His godfather slapped himself on his forehead.

"About six hours, before I revert back to normal."

"EXCUSE ME!" The very agitated mole yelled out loud. "ARE WE FIGHTING, OR ARE YOU JUST GONNA RAMBLE ON AND WASTE TIME!"

"Jesus, don't get so mad..." The three of them said to themselves, before assuming their fighting stances. Beauty was still new at it, so she made due with just holding her arms out.

"It's about time... I will win, and I WILL get fifty bucks!"

"IF YOU WANT," Denbo-chan yelled from the ground. "I COULD JUST SPOT YOU A CHECK!"

"No, fine sir, my money, like my pride, must always be earned through battle."

"SIR?"

"Now, come at me youngsters, and I will show you no mercy!"

--

Will our three fighters take on the angry Moleton Le Flaga?

What's up with the Muscle/Soul duo?

What's Hatenkou, Poppa Rocks, and Denbo-chan gonna do?

How will Baseball Diamond Player defeat the gangsters holding his girlfriend hostage?

"HE WASN'T EVEN MENTIONED!" Beauty screams.

And when will the mighty Softon appear?

Denbo-chan appears in a centerfold. "Tune in Next Time!"


	5. Carrying the 5

Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo: Video Crisis!

Disclaimer: I don't own this series, any series that makes any cameo appearances, or the people who have made Bo-bobo. I do, however, own this fic.

Check from the previous chapters on how I named each character, so I won't have to do it again on the upcoming chapters.

--

"Your time is up, Baseball Diamond Player!"

"Wh-what am I going to do?"

"DIAMOND!"

There I was. Surronded by hundreds of goons. All following the orders of Basketball Court Man. He has my girlfriend dangling in nothing but tatters. And I suspect these pigs to be angry perverts as well. I don't have a lot to fight them off. Two-hundred and ninety-four of them I took out. But the waves keep coming, and I'm slowly losing my vitality. With my blazing fast balls, and freezing cold bat strikes... it's not going to be enough...

Cindy... Fathers...

Have I let you down?

"Kill him... KILL HIM DEAD!"

"Your guardian angel is here to save you!"

Who is that...? Do I hear music?

"I can't take this pain... this world wants this to be my grave.  
Can't you leave me alone... I don't want to show my tears.  
Adversaries try to take my life... I won't run from the fight.  
Why do I feel overwhelmed... YOU DON'T SCARE ME ANYMORE!"

I can feel a loud painful soundwave... the fiends are being blown away. Basketball Court Man... he's exploding. He was a robot? But none of that matters now, as I slide fast to catch my falling love.

"Are you alright, Cindy?"

"Yes, Diamond, I am... But, whose voice was that?"

We turn to see the shadow of what looks like a beautiful woman. She's peacing us out, but... wait... it can't be... what's that waviness coming out of her nose?

--

"That... was a riveting opening sequence, but aside from that, WE MUST FIGHT!"

Gasser, Beauty, and Jelly Jiggler were faces to face with their new opponent, the slightly disgruntled Moleton Le Flaga, no relation. Up high, they are on a floating arena, surrounded by a pink electric field. The agreement for this encounter: if the mole loses, he would let the whole gang over the mountain. If they lost, they would have to pony up... fifty bucks. The stakes are high, I guess, for this fiery battle.

But, what of Poppa, Hatenkou, and the Pretty Magical Singer, Denbo-chan?

"We're gonna hit the beach!" The three of them cheered.

"WHAT!" The other three moaned.

"It's gonna be our beach adventures, while you three fight!" Poppa called up as he started to put on his swim trunks. His head turned to Hatenkou, who had put on a Speedo. "OH GOD! Pass me the suntan lotion, would ya?"

"You got it, God-Daddy!" He tossed it to Poppa Rocks, which conked him on the head.

"Hey boys, whatcha think of my new outfit?" Denbo-chan asked, as she came out wearing a two-piece bikini, both with heart-prints all over it, and wearing dolphin print sea stockings.

"Okay, THAT looks stupid on you." The orange candy bluntly stated.

"Oh, it does not." Denbo-chan argued.

"It does too."

"Does not."

"DOES TOO!"

"DOES NOT!"

"Please, stop fighting! You're scaring the sea monsters!" Hatenkou panicked, as the three of them turned to see many sea serpents, giant octopi, and yes, a kraken, cowering in fear.

"Please don't come in the water." A giant octopus said. "We don't want you to kill us!"

"Aww, but I wanna go swimming!" The singer whined, as she skipped towards the water. With a quick reaction, all the sea monsters suddenly went up onto the sand. They were setting up towels, volleyball nets, barbeques, and for an odd reason, the giant octopi brought giant pots with them.

"The water's all yours." A sea serpent said shakily.

"Aww, you guys are sweet!" She smiled happily. "Poppa! Haten-kun! The water's great!"

"Well, you heard him, Godson," Poppa Rocks said. "Let's get wet!"

--

Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo: Video Crisis!

When Beach Conflicts with Mountainous Sky, We All Fall Down! OWIE!

--

"Beauty, are you up for this?" Gasser asked the shaking girl. This would be the first fight she would participate in, that DIDN'T involve being the victim or the helpless spectator. "I believe in you, Beauty."

"Yes..." She stopped shaking, and looked up at the opponent. "I will do it."

"YAY!" Jelly cheered. "Lead the assault! You go, girl!"

"Um... okay..." She started thinking as fast as she could, unaware that a white glow started to surround her. "Wait... oh! Of course! It's coming to me!" A small orb was glowing in her hands. "Varied Support Fist... JUDGMENT ROULETTE!" To their sides, a large Roulette wheel came out of the arena. On the roulette circle, 25 percent of each part had a picture of their face on it. "This is good for four shots, and whatever happens happens."

Jelly was reminiscing quickly, recalling that Bo-bobo did this similar move once. "OH GOD!"

"Spin the wheel, and let fate decide how we will die!" Moleton Le Flaga, no relation, revved up.

"Okay... First Judgment Spin, GO." The aether-like arrow began spinning around and around and around, spinning fast and spinning faster, until it lands... ... on Jelly's spot.

"OH NO!" The roulette spun around, with a message that said 'Jelly Jiggler gets a preemptive strike!' "Alright! This I like!"

"What? I don't believe--" Before the buffed mole could say anymore, his whole body became paralyzed. "I... Can't... Move?"

"Super Shaky Shake Fist!" The jelly man stretched his head back, as if it was a slingshot. "LYCHEE POWER SHOT!" He launched his head at break-neck speed forward, as his face popped off his body, and slammed fiercely into the stomach of the pumped mole, knocking him down. "Um, can someone pick up my face?"

"Second Judgment Spin, GO!" The roulette was now: 90 percent Moleton, and 10 percent the other three.

"Hey, that's not fair!" The mole cried wolf, but unfortunately for him, it landed on his spot. "This game is rigged!" The message spun around, and said 'Beauty-brand (TM) Overhead Pan Drop!' He started clutching his chest, not from pain, but from laughter, as he started rolling across the floor. "OH ROFL! THAT'S a spot of good luck! Nothing can get in! FWEFWEFWEFWEFWEFWE!" A portal appeared right overtop of the rolly mole, and dropped a 200-lb pound iron tub on him. "OWIES YOU HACKER!"

"Third Judgment Spin, GO!" The roulette was now: Jelly, Gasser, and Beauty each occupying 33.3 percent of the roulette wheel, with Moleton occupying the 0.01 percent.

"Finally, I get some good luck!"

"C'mon wheel, do your thing!"

The arrow lands... on the 0.01 mark. "OH C'MON! NOW I KNOW THIS GAME IS RIGGED!" The mole complained, as he saw the roulette message say 'Hop like a flea five times, and you'll get a big surprise!' Shrugging, as if he couldn't do anything else, he hopped up and down like a flea five times. Suddenly... he explodes.

"WHAT THE HELL?" Beauty screamed in utter confusion.

Covered in bandages, Moleton Le Flaga, no relation, was trying to keep his good spirits up, but he knew it would sink when he heard, "Final Judgment Spin, GO!" The roulette was now 50 percent Gasser, Beauty, and Jelly, while the other 50 percent was Gasser, Beauty, Jelly, and Moleton. "Huh.. That's odd..." The arrow landed on the part with all four of their faces on it. The message said 'Full Revitalize.' Everyone felt a soothing breeze as it healed everyone of minor injuries, with the exception of Moleton, which healed him a good amount.

"Wow! That felt so refreshing! That felt like... like... LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED AT ALL!"

"Well, it was a waste of my skills, I guess..." Beauty said in a sad voice.

"Luck of the roulette, sweet cheeks." Jelly muttered, lighting a chocolate cigar under a streetlight in a trenchcoat.

"HOW DID THAT LIGHT GET IN HERE!" The mole belted out.

"Enough of this. Let's get him now, you guys!" Gasser ordered.

And with that, the three of them charged head on towards the angry mammal.

--

Back to the sunny beach, Hatenkou and Poppa Rocks we're just showing each other what interesting seashells they found.

"Cool! God-Daddy, I found a pearl in this oyster!" The blond spike-haired guy cried happily like a little boy.

"Oh yeah? Well, I found... an ammonite!" The candy gloated, as the prehistoric mollusk proceeded to clamp its tentacles on the orange goodness that is Poppa. "WHOA! OMG!"

Denbo-chan suddenly popped out of the water. "Hey guys!" She tosses a camera to Hatenkou. "Take my picture, Haten-kun?"

"Of course, Miss Denbo-chan!" He gets the camera all set up, and takes a picture. When he sees what the picture will look like when it gets developed, it shows a screaming Denbo-chan getting gobbled up by a blue whale. "Huh..." He then looked up to see a blue whale... about to crash atop of him. "WHOA!"

That is, until the whale explodes into pieces, leaving NOTHING, not even bone, behind. The super-miraculous Denbo-chan was holding a short bald man in her arms. "Lucky for me I saved you mister!"

"Hey, aren't you Jelly's insurance broker?" Poppa asked.

"I am." This man's tears were flowing like waterfalls. "But since this luscious angel set me free from that flesh prison called the whale's stomach, I feel revitalized! I want to make ALL the ladies know of all the love I can give!" He blushes, and looks at Denbo-chan. "Perhaps, would a dinner be a suitable reward for saving my life?"

"UP YOURS, OLD PERV!" She pulled out her nunchaku, and clobbered him for 10 hits, before sending him into the stratosphere. "Baka..."

"I challenge you to an underwater breathing contest, Denbo!" Poppa challenged.

"You're on!"

And with that, the both of them held their breath, and went under.

"How... how can I get close to Ms. Denbo-chan?" Hatenkou sighed in defeat.

--

"Amped Burly Mole Fist! RUSHING DIG CLAW!"

The buffed scapendus townsendii charged towards the trio with gleaming claws. They barely dodged the attack, with Jelly losing an appendage to the ravenous mole.

"Ow... god dammit!" The lychee man said, clutching where his arm once was.

"Oh ho? I guess I'll take this, as a war trophy for when I defeat you, and earn my fifty bucks! FWEFWEFWEFWEFWEFWEFWEFWE!" He felt the appendage move in his hand, his head looking down to it. "Yes, what is it? Up? Down? Side to side? What're you getting at, you tasty morsel?" The leftover lychee jiggler smacked the mole hard.

"Super Shaky Shake Fist! JELLY POLTERGEIST!" The leftover part dissipated, as it rejoined his body, and a new arm popped out. "Ah, that feels good!"

"I'm up!" Gasser said, channeling a ball in his hand. "SMOKY GAS BOMB!" He tossed it, and on contact, nailed the creature with a painful odor.

"Oooh, that's a wondrous stank! My senses are blinding me... further..." He unintentionally walked into the forcefield, sending hot pink shocks throughout his body. When it was over, he collapsed on the ground. The others walked up to him.

"Are you alright?" Beauty asked.

"I... I'm better than alright..." The mole stood up and tossed his shades aside, revealing his ugly beady eyes. "I CAN SEE! The majesty of nature! ALL THE COLORS OF THE RAINBOW!"

"GASSER CLOTHSLINE!" Jelly grabbed the silver-haired boy, and spun him around, knocking both Beauty to the ground, and Moleton into the the electric field, forcing him to feel the shocks one more time.

Feeling around for his shades, he stood up grimly. "By God, I'm blind again..." He sighed, and turned around to face the group. "Oh well, looks like an eternity of darkness for me."

"Now I sorta feel bad." Jelly hung his head in shame.

"WHAT THE HELL KIND OF COMPLEX DO YOU HAVE, JELLY?" Beauty panicked.

"Uh... a God one?"

"You weren't supposed to answer!"

"But, nevertheless... Amped Burly Mole Fist! UNDERGROUND DIG RUSH!" As quick as he announced his attack, he burrowed quickly into the ground. The sound of earth being shovelled up lasted... for all of two seconds, as he fell through the arena. "AAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHH!" And... sound of hitting the ground.

"Huh..." Gasser commented.

"He is SO stupid." Jelly added.

"A miscalculation... I shouldn't have dug that far... Amped Burly Mole Recovery: ASPIRING MOLE LEAP!"

The trio saw the energy of the earth channelling into the being's feet, as he suddenly leapt upward at an undescribable velocity. He slid effortlessly back into the hole he made, and came back onto the arena, landing with a somersault. The three of them clapped from the show.

"Uh, just to tell you guys: don't go near that hole. I don't want to win this match if you guys fall."

"Well, he IS honorable." Beauty said to herself.

"Now for a second shot! Amped Burly Mole Fist! UNDERGROUND DIG RUSH!"

--

"YAY! I WIN AGAIN!" Denbo-chan cheered as he jumped up and down out of the water.

"How can you hold your breath for that long?" Poppa Rocks wondered in defeat.

She only giggled and winked. "Silly! I'm holding my breath with two!"

"Oh..." He looked up to her face. "...You cheating bastard." She slammed her suddenly iron-hard hair into his head. "OW!"

"Stop calling me that!" She huffed. "For the next five hours and a half, I'm still Denbo-chan!"

"Um, Ms. Denbo-chan, the sea monsters are starting to terrorize the beach." Hatenkou stated.

"LIKE HELL THEY ARE!"

And with a blind fury, she walked up to the beach, where the monsters suddenly start to run away. She starts by grabbing a couple of octopi and flinging the pots they were occupying into the deep ocean. She sees another one barbequing something, which she then decides to slam it shut in there. She wrapped a few sea serpents together, and tossed them like a pebble across water. She opened the barbeque, and offers the other two the octopus she cooked alive.

"Uh... I think I lost my appetite." Hatenkou plainly said.

"Oh well, more for me!" Poppa Rocks cheered as he took the octopus, got a big plate and a fork and knife, and started eating the octopus slowly. "Mmmm, tentacles!"

"Okay, Mr. Kraken, get off the beach!" Denbo-chan ordered.

Unfortunately, the large blue squid looked at her while it was sunbathing, and laughed. "Like I'll listen to anyone, even if it's a chick, who dresses THAT stupidly."

"Alright..." She smiled evilly. "You just asked for a song special." Almost immediately, Hatenkou took cover behind Poppa Rocks. She grabbed her mike, and put it to her lips, just as the monster looked at her. "Sheer heart attack..." She whispered. From that, the evil sea monster clutched itself, and died. She pouted, "Aww, I didn't get a chance to sing my song!"

"Song in the what now?" Poppa Rocks asked, as he finished his jumbo helping of octopus. He burped. "Besides, everyone knows krakens are weak to Instant Kill techniques."

Hatenkou looked up towards the sky now. "I just wonder now, how the others are doing...?"

--

"Where is he...?"

"How long has he been hiding underground?"

"He's psyching me out, guys..."

Jelly, Beauty, and Gasser were looking around frantically, looking for where the crazy Moleton Le Flaga, no relation, was digging. This was a whole five minutes ago.

"NEVER STAY STILL IN BATTLE!" He emerged from underneath, and grabbed... Beauty. Of course, as basic instinct, she let out a blood-curdling "PERVERT!" with which he came up and bowed non-stop. "I-I-I'm so sorry I didn't mean to grab you there it was an accident I was only trying to drag you underground and floor you to death but I'm not a pervert I'm sorry--" She clobbered him into the floor. "Hitting me while I'm apologizing... That's just low."

"Well, grabbing me was pretty low too!" Beauty reacted. But soon as she saw sharp claws coming for her, she threw her arms in front, and unexpectedly blocked the attack. "What...? How did I...?" When she saw that astral white hands grabbed Jelly and used him as a barricade from the claws, she felt like she was gonna throw up. "I'm SO SORRY, JELLY!"

"Ow... this is something Bo-bobo would do..." He weakly commented as he plopped on the ground.

"Beauty, let's team up and finish him now!" Gasser shouted, holding Beauty's hand. "Before we plummet into the ground...!"

"That's right..." Moleton said evilly. "I tire of this fight, so if you cannot defeat me in three minutes, we ALL will die! You won't get to save this world! I won't get my fifty bucks! WE'LL BOTH POTENTIALLY FAIL!"

"Gasser..." Beauty sighed... she looked at his face, and kissed his cheek. "Help give me the strength to succeed."

His blush had to fade. He had to help her now, since this was a dire time. "You got it!"

Their white and yellow auras started channelling together to make a soft blond color. Jelly Jiggler jumped in front, "JELLY TRAMPOLINE!" tripping and launching the mole-beast into the air. "He's all yours, you two lovey-doveys!"

"Double Unity Vapor Support Fist: GAS CRUSH BEAM!" The pale yellow crystalized beam nailed the mole man in his stomach, careening him into the forcefield, shutting it down completely.

"No thanks to you two... now we're gonna crash into the ground without anything to slow us down..." Moleton spat out some blood. "We'll all perish..."

"Not if I have anything to say about it!" A dramatic and powerful female voice bellowed, as she grounded herself on the beach, pulling out a microphone. "My new number will save you all!"

"Let's buy some time, Godson!" Poppa Rocks commanded, as he and Hatenkou channeled their auras into holding the falling arena in place.

She tapped her microphone, as the words suddenly spilled from her lips.

"Don't stop the fear or feeling.  
Keep on fighting and believing.  
Be unique! Don't ignore the tryst!  
With my Singing Nose Hair Technique..."

Silence, as if time had stopped. She breathed in deep during this time stop.

"YELLLLLLLLING FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIST!"

Like a banshee scream, the falling arena was slowly being pushed up little at a time, from the powerful soundwave punches, bashing into the ground like a tank. Jelly got smacked around a bit, as he and the other two fell to the ground, caught by Hatenkou and Poppa Rocks. But with Moleton Le Flaga...

One deep punch... Two deep punches... THREE deep punches... and he was soaring into the sky. "That beautiful voice... she saved my indebted soul from damnation. Maybe, in the next life... I'll thank her..." And with that, he left the scene with a twinkle.

"YOU DID IT, DENBO-CHAN!" Everyone cheered, the gang and sea monsters alike.

"Yeah... I did..." She said weakly. She suddenly grasped her chest and knelt to the ground.

Hatenkou gasped. "Ms. Denbo-chan! What's wrong?"

She started laughing lowly, and then outloud. "Well, I guess because I put too much effort in saving you guys, it drained my living duration. I only have, this minute left."

"Denbo-chan..." Beauty gasped.

"Beauty... Gasser... You two have great synergy... Work on that as a promise from me, Denbo-chan..." She started glowing brightly. "I guess my time... is up..."

A massive explosion engulfed the area. Part of the sea, the beach, the mountain blocking their path, and even a few clouds... GONE IN THE BLINK OF AN EYE.

--

"Whew... you saw that, Elder bro?" Milder asked, seeing the dome-shaped explosion cloud in the distance.

Trading in his femme looks for a fiery red pair of jeans and a yellow sweater, Mitch nodded. "Indeed, the others must have gone that way. We'll get em this time for sure!"

The two we're interrupted by a bruised up mole landing in front of them. He reverted back to his normal mole size.

"It's our pal, Moleton Le Flaga!" Mitch picked up the little guy. "What've they done to you?"

"I can now pass on... without any regrets... but, tell them one thing..." The mole coughed.

"What is it old friend?" The burly man went.

He pulled out a portrait, of Denbo-chan about to get swallowed by a whale. "Find this young woman... tell her I said, thank you..." And with that, the little creature passed on. His body glittered in the fading sunlight. 

"You know what we must do..." Mitch said. The buff younger brother nodded. "Let's loot his corpse." He reached a hand down, and took eighty dollars from his wallet. "Moleton, you cheapskate, you could've paid us back anytime."

"And we gotta thank that pretty woman too." The two brothers watched the sunset... it was the first time they appreciated one, since they got paid back.

--

"NOOOOOOOO!" Hatenkou bawled, as Dengakuman and Bo-bobo we're standing around, unscathed by the explosion. "I'll never get to see Ms. Denbo-chan again!"

"Denbo?" Bo-bobo asked. "Aww man, I'm never gonna get her autograph..."

Hatenkou just continued bawling...

--

Without a ride, how will our heroes get around?

"MY NU-PRETZEL CAR!"

Where will our heroes stop for the night?

What will happen to the Baseball Diamond Player now?

Will Softon ever make an appearance in this fic?

"No need to rush..." He says...

And will the author ever lengthen chapters like this again? ... Maybe.

Bo-bobo, and Denbo-chan appear. "TUNE IN NEXT TIME!" 


	6. Multiplying 6

Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo: Video Crisis!

Disclaimer: I don't own this series, any series that makes any cameo appearances, or the people who have made Bo-bobo. I do, however, own this fic.

Check from the previous chapters on how I named each character, so I won't have to do it again on the upcoming chapters.

--

Poppa Rocks, Jelly Jiggler, and Hatenkou we're sitting in an almost empty room with a table, dressed like school boys. In their possession was a wooden Ouija table. Eerie black candles shimmered the room with faint light.

"Okay Jelly, it's your turn." Poppa said.

"Uh, okay... I don't trust this thing exactly..." Jelly said timidly.

"Don't worry man!" Hatenkou assured him. "Nothing bad'll happen."

"Okay, here goes then..." Jelly breathed in deeply. "Will I get to defeat my biggest rival in fiery combat?"

"What kind of question is that, dummy?" the candy asked.

Suddenly, the little triangular magnifying glass started moving.

"How... come... I... must... know..." Jelly said, in a more confused tone. "Where... obsession... needs... to... go...?"

"GOSH DARN IT! This thing's busted!" Poppa Rocks yelled as he kicked it aside.

Suddenly, a wisp resembling an old man popped out of the Ouija Board. "Ungrateful youth... TAKE THIS!" He fired a pure white beam at Jelly, Poppa, and Hatenkou, smashing them through the wall and into the sky.

"OUIJAS SUCK!" Poppa Rocks yelled out.

"Cue us out with a twinkle!" Hatenkou screamed before the three disappeared with fading twinkles.

"Well," Bo-bobo said, seeing his three comrades getting sent high into da sky. "We're not staying in this old house, that's for sure."

"Looks like we'll keep moving!" Dengakuman chirped.

--

From the previous chapters, as Bo-bobo and gang used poor Jelly's ability of driving his Nu-Pretzel Car to get them places, they traversed the basic Ozarks of the current cyber realm they're in. Suddenly, the mole known only as Moleton Le Flaga, no relation, came out of nowhere, and made a mountain of pain and annoyance on our heroes.

Foolishly taking on the trio of Gasser, Jelly, and Beauty's first battle debut, the mole surrounded them in an entrapping arena, fully utilizing his moley powers! Bo-bobo unintentionally merged together with the little white Dengakuman, when it should've been Poppa Rocks, and they had merged together into...

"Pretty Magical Singer, DENBO-CHAN!"

She, Poppa, and Hatenkou decided to hit the beach, play fun beachside games, and kill sea monsters, while the others brought the buffed mole to his knees. The angered Moleton made the arena fall towards the ground, threatening to kill them all on impact, but with the help of Beauty and Gasser's double team technique...

"Double Unity Vapor Support Fist: GAS CRUSH BEAM!"

And Denbo-chan's desperate super technique...

"YELLLLLLLLING FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIST!"

The others survived, and Moleton Le Flaga, no relation, passed on without guilt in his soul. The de-unification of Denbo-chan unfortunately ruined Jelly's Car into unrepairable conditions. Where will our heroes stay for the night, and how will they get around?

--

It is nighttime. The stars are shining bright. The bluish-black sky seemed to bolster the illuminating shine of the stars, as Bo-bobo and the gang were travelling through dark green-blackish forests. Jelly had pulled out a pair of binoculars, and started to feverishly look around with them. The tiny white Dengakuman looked back, interested in what the lychee Jiggler was doing.

"Whatcha up to?" Dengakuman asked innocently.

"Trying to catch up on my Bird-watching."

Her ears reacting to the sound of stupid, she turned her head. "Jelly, all the birds are more than likely sleeping."

"Owls, Beauty. Owls." Jelly reminded her. His eyes turned suddenly to see a faint shining light inbetween some of the branches' foliage. "Guys, come here."

As the whole gang gathered near the shining spot, they pushed some of the leaves aside, revealing... a small classroom with flourescent lighting, filled with some birds, a couple of owls, a tiny bald man, some squirrels, and a strange organism with jet black and azure skin. The sole girl in the group silently gawked.

Suddenly, a big owl with a mortar board on his head cleared his throat. "Good evening pupils. I am Owlliticus Owl, and welcome to my night class on Psychology 215."

"Wow..." Poppa said in impressed awe. "When this is all over, maybe I'll enroll in here for about four to six months, and finish my degree."

"Wow! You were in college?" Beauty sounded amazed. "Why didn't you finish?"

"Saving the world. That, and I suddenly became broke."

"Definitely assed out, Poppa my main man." Bo-bobo added.

"Sweet! An owl!" Jelly cheered, as he started writing notes in his bird-watching log.

"Excuse me..." The owl teacher said, his voice directed at the gang. "Are you late-comers?"

"No, not really." The lychee man stated indifferently. When suddenly, he looked up, and saw giant laser cannons emerging themselves from the treetop, and aimed directly at him. The energy was beginning to charge itself up, and then it suddenly fired! "Oh, this can't be goo--WAAAAAAAAA!"

"JELLY!" The humans of the group screamed in sorrow. All that was left of the Jiggler was a small blue square.

"Don't worry, minna!" Bo-bobo was determined. "We can rebuild him! We have the technology!"

"SHUT UP BO-BOBO!"

"Super Shaky Shake Fist! JELLY RANCHERS!" His voiced boomed from nowhere, as the sole blue square poured out massive torrents of blue squares, until the arms, legs, body, and face of the Jiggler was now recompiled. He was no back to his former self. "I am reborn!" Poppa Rocks pushed him lightly, and he broke apart into little squares again. "SOME ASSEMBLY REQUIRED!"

Beauty could only scream into the night...

--

Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo: Video Crisis!

Finding Lodgings can be such a Pain, Especially when you have no Disdain... wait, what!

--

"Baka Survivor, ikinokore-kore, Baka Survivor, baby... Baka Survivor, kachinokore-kore, Baka Survivor, baby..."

Poppa Rocks sang to himself as he was carrying firewood in his arms. The gang were certainly fortunate enough to find a big clearing. Bo-bobo and Gasser were setting up the tents, breathing in the fresh forest air. Jelly was rummaging through a big backpack of dried foods and snacks, while Beauty was making a campfire with Dengakuman. Hatenkou was sleeping, snoring very loudly.

"B-A-K-A... S-U-R-V-I-V-O-R!" Poppa looked at the sleeping blondie. "Look at my lazy godson..." He pulled out a long ball of twine, and wrapped it around the large bundle of firewood he was carrying, turning it into a large makeshift club. Smiling at his handiwork, he swung it at the air a few times for practice, before clubbing the sleeping Hatenkou. "DON'T SLEEP NOW, YOU LAZY FOOL!"

"Ow..." He rubbed his head, his eyes bubbling like a little anime girl about to cry. "God-daddy, that was mean!"

"If you're gonna hit the sack, at least wait until the camp's all made..." Beauty looked up, as her little hands rubbed the sticks together to make a fire. Her head sank when she saw Dengakuman pull out a lighter, and lit up the fire.

"Fire's done!" The little white thing chirped. He felt a large hand grab him on the head. "Ow!"

"Alright! Let's make some ol' fashioned campfire S'mores!" Bo-bobo giddily said, as he took out chocolate, two graham crackers, and sandwiched Dengakuman inbetween them. He impaled the s'more with a stick, and held it over the fire. "Who knows any campfire songs?"

"Kumbayah, my lord, kumbayah..." Jelly whipped out a guitar, and checkered-pattern sweater. He strummed the strings slowly, playing his little ditty. "Oh lord, Kumbayah..."

However, everyone was more focused, and apalled, with Bo-bobo roasting a Dengakuman s'more over an open fire.

"What? You guys want some?" His eyes turned to his soon-charring buddy. "Hey! GET OUT OF MY S'MORE, YOU PIG!" His nose hairs slithered out of his nostrils, wrapped themselves around the treat, and fired it into the sky! Unaware, though, that his nose hairs had caught fire--"OH NOEZ! THIS BURNS! THE SOURCE OF MY POWERS!"

"You did deserve it, Bo-bobo..." Beauty mildly stated.

"So..." Jelly tossed off his jacket. "The Fist of the Nose Hair is what gives you your strength, is it?" On his back suddenly, a strange gothic symbol appeared. "My creators will be pleased to know of this fatal flaw, Bo-bobo!"

Beauty and Gasser were just looking at the blue guy strangely, when they suddenly turned to a grim-faced Bo-bobo. "I should've known... you were created by the Blue Knees!"

"WHAT!" The two younger humans stared blankly.

He started to laugh evilly. "That's right, Bo-bobo! I now know all of your weaknesses, and I shall deliver this news to my glorious masters!" He then started laughing as grim as the tone he spoke.

"Oh yeah! POPPA CHOP!" Poppa Rocks yelled, cocking his arm back, before slamming a powerful chop into Jelly's head, knocking the hysterical Jiggler to the ground. "Squeal THAT to your pervtastic masters!"

A very tense and awkward moment...

"Okay, I lied." Jelly stated matter-of-factly. He got up, and ripped the gothic symbol off his back. "OW!" He cleared his throat. "I actually had a very warm, and confusing school life, especially when it got to high school, where I had various crushes on many of my upper classmen."

"Hey..." The orange candy reared his body back, before slamming it into Jelly, impaling him with his spikes. "THAT WAS MY HIGH SCHOOL LIFE! GIVE ME BACK MY LIFE!"

"OH GOD, TAKE IT!"

"This have nothing to do with our camping!"

(Movie Preview: My Life as Teenage Rocks)

"Oh god... this should be interesting..."

In a Japanese style high-school, many students in uniforms were merely having the times of their youth-filled lives. Amidst the crowd, stood the orange candy, looking around anxiously, holding an envelope.

"It's hard enough to fit in with this crowd..." Poppa said aloud, like a narrator, as he shuffled his feet aimlessly. "But to find love, in a place where people only judge others on looks..."

Poppa held out a letter to a beautiful and tall blondd with her back turned away. "Bokiru-sempai, I know that you don't really care to know me, but I just wanted to tell you that I really like you. I..." He shut his eyes, half-expecting the results. "I want you to have this as a token of my love, Bokiru-sempai!"

"Like, eww, you're a creep, Rocks-kohai!" The woman turned around, revealing... Bo-bobo, in dress and muffler socks. "Get away from me!"

"AAUGH!" Beauty screamed, disturbed from the sight.

"Hey, down in front!" Hatenkou riled out at her.

Suddenly, the screen turns to Poppa Rocks in the female uniform, once more mocking Beauty by using her exact eyes and hair, walking up to a big afro-ed student. He tapped his leg, and his eyes started bubbling as the human looked down, seeing the orange candy.

"Bosuke-sempai..." He stammered, looking into the other's shades. "Please accept my love, sempai..."

"I'm sorry..." His eyes looked away, his voice filled with sorriness. "While your confession was true and filled with emotion, I'm already with someone else." And all of a sudden, he was glomped by the Bokiru character, both looking down at Poppa.

"OKAY, THAT'S SOMETHING NO ONE SHOULD EVER SEE!" Beauty screeched.

"See what happens when you play the game of love, and always feel the pang of loss..." Poppa's narration continued.

(End Preview. My Life as Teenage Rocks coming out March 17th, 2006)

"Sometimes, I hate those two..." Beauty sighed, with Jelly nodding behind her.

--

As sudden as the movie preview came up, everyone were now in tents and sleeping bags. Poppa Rocks, Jelly, and Dengakuman all shared a small tent, with the three of them snoring loudly. Bo-bobo and Hatenkou shared another tent, talking quietly with each other since they couldn't sleep yet. And much to the gray-haired boy's delight, he and Beauty shared a third tent, his back turned away though to not seem like a creep.

"Gasser, are you still awake?" Beauty asked.

"Y-yeah, I am."

"Would it be alright if I can huddle a little closer to you?" Her voice had a tone of unsureness added to it. "I keep feeling like I'm being watched."

"Oh." He turned his sleeping bag-encased body to meet her face. "Sure. Hop on over, Beauty."

She hopped lightly in her sleeping bag, until she was right beside him. "Thank you, Gasser."

She sighed with a hint of relief, and huddled herself to him. The skin on the boy's body was beginning to brighten beyond all boundaries of pink and skin-color, his face almost becoming a bright crimson. Here she was, the girl he crushed on for all the days he ventured with her. So many options and scenarios played out on his head, half filled with positiveness, half with heartbreak. He didn't want to ruin what he had by doing--

"Hey you two." Bo-bobo knocked quietly on their tent.

Gasser cursed loudly in his mind, but kept his composure. "What is it, Bo-bobo?"

"Hatenkou and I busted up our tent in a vigorous thumb wrestling match... can we bunk with you guys?" The afro-ed hero twiddled his fingers, sounding guilty.

"Pweeeease?" Hatenkou added to the pitifulness.

"I don't know if the four of us can fit inside all at once." Beauty said.

"Actually, we won't bother you anymore, you two!" Bo-bobo said. "Hatenkou and I will watch the campsite, making sure NOTHING will get past the perimeter!"

Hatenkou was draped in military garbs. "That's right, ma'am!"

"WATCH YOURSELF, ENSEN HATENKOU!" Bo-bobo, dressed in a straight mock-up of a stereotypical female video game captain, uppercutted the scarf-wearing key user, watching him clutching his stomach. "You will NOT wake up our other officers!"

"Bo-bobo, shut up!" Beauty gawked quietly. He and Hatenkou went back to normal, silently closing their tent.

--

"Elder Brother..."

"What is it, Milder?"

"You sure you've been through these parts of the woods before?"

"Don't worry, Milder! We'll find our way! My soul guidance knows the way, always."

"What?"

"We're lost..."

--

Bo-bobo and Hatenkou circled the put-out campfire slowly, keeping their eyes out for anything suspiscious in the massive darkness of the forest. Suddenly, a light bulb appeared over Bo-bobo's head, which he then proceeded to screw back into a lamp, which then turned on.

"I'm gonna do a quick search of the site, Hatenkou." The Bonafide Bo spoke seriously, looking at his comrade. "You might wanna cover your eyes."

"Oh... kay...?" the key-master covered his eyes with his arm.

Nose hairs suddenly thrusted out of Bo-bobo's nostrils, rising up to the sky. The serpentine strands started glowing a bright white. "Fist of the Nose Hair!" Bo-bobo shouted characteristically. "Bo Scout Tactics: BOBO BRIGHT FLASH!" Like a powerful flash bomb, the entire forest area was suddenly covered in an enveloping shine, of which nothing escaped.

"AUGH! MY EYES! MY LOVELY EYES!" A loud and pained voice shouted out. "MY ACCURACY RATING'S BEEN LOWERED ONE STAGE!" The voice's owner fell out of a tree right beside the two of them. He wore large plate shoulders, and was bald.

"Hey! You're one of the Bald Empire's goons!" Hatenkou thrusted his key out threateningly at said goon.

"That, I am." No longer hindered by recently-blinded eyes, the Bald Empire member stared at the two. "I am Balder McBaldington, Shadow Spy for the Bald Empire Intarweb Corps. But my closest pals call me... Larry."

"Larry!" Bo-bobo roared. "Don't think you're gonna corrupt this realm, or brutally scalp us!" He pointed at Hatenkou. "If you catch him off guard, you might have a slight chance of ripping the hair off his head, but that'll never happen to me!"

"Hey... Bo-bobo, that was mean!" Hatenkou frowned.

"As I speak, the Bald Empire Intarweb Corps are already moving out, preparing our massive attack of the Web and Net!"

"So, if WE speak, nothing will really happen?" The blond spiked-hair asked.

"Technically, yeah..." Larry said. "HEY! Mr. Narrator! YOU HAVE NOT EARNED THE RIGHT TO CALL ME LARRY!"

"STOP YELLING! You'll wake our friends up!" Bo-bobo bellowed, feeling his energy welling up from the ground. "Let's get this whack-man with our teamwork, Hatenkou!"

"Alright, Bo-bobo, let's do it!" Hatenkou threw his key in the air, coating it in bright energy. "Fist of the Heart Lock! KEY AVATAR!" He tossed it to his ally. "Bo-bobo! Use this!"

"Fist of the Nose Hair!" His nose hairs shot out, and proceeded to whip Larry left and right in the air. "AIR NOSE HAIR COMBO!" He managed to catch the energized key in his hands, which he then proceeded to toss up as well. Unfortunately, the Key Avatar lost it's power, and a small regular-sized metal key smacked the goon in the middle of his forehead, smashing him to the ground.

"How'd you like our teamwork, punk?" Hatenkou growled.

"That pathetic display was teamwork! How dare you crack my plates!" Larry bugged out. "STOP CALLING ME THAT!"

Loud crying could be heard. The goon looked over to Bo-bobo and Hatenkou... as babies... wearing really large diapers, baby bonnets, and rattles. "You scareded us! WAAAAAHH!"

"YOU TWO ARE REALLY THROWING ME OFF!" Balder McBaldington

Bo-bobo and Hatenkou lept high into the air. "Larry!" Bo-bobo yelled down. "You will feel our true strength!" Their auras of gold and blue surrounded their very beings, as a big freaking crosshair appeared underneath the Bald Empire minion.

"Oh man..."

"Team Fist of the Heart Nose Hair Lock!" Their energies fired down into... a tiny dull bullet. It fell lightly to its target. When the bullet made contact, it created a massive sonic boom that knocked the goon into the air, and knocked the other two tents upside down. "THE TINIEST HATEN-BO IMPACT!"

"I WILL BE BACK, AND I WILL BE AVEN-GED!" The goon known as Larry vowed as he disappeared into the sky. With a twinkle of course.

"Whew... what a quick duel." Bo-bobo sighed exhaustedly. "I think I lost ten pounds."

"You could be an exercise guru!" The other one giddily cheered, as the two warriors noticed that the sun suddenly rose, bringing a bright sunrise to the... shockwave-ravaged forest. Some trees lost their entire foliage, and some animals were killed on impact. "Wow... this place has horrible noise pollution."

In Gasser and Beauty's tent, they were flipped upside down by the shock, and by a strange bout of coincidence, their bag-covered bodies were on top of each other, and their eyes were wide when their lips fell into place on each other's. Though, they didn't really bother to fight this embarrassing feeling; they just closed their eyes and enjoyed the kiss. They could've stayed like that...

"GOOD MORNING MINNA!" The leader of the gang yelled out loud. "Let us continue our journey!"

...if it weren't for Bo-bobo's wake-up call. The two got up from their sleeping bags, and out of their tent.

"Did you two sleep well?" Hatenkou asked.

"Strangely enough, yes." Beauty stated. "How did we wake up upside down?"

"Fought a Bald Empire goon while you were asleep. But enough about that. Let's get going!"

And so, Bo-bobo, Hatenkou, Gasser and Beauty started walking towards the valley-covered horizon. The pink haired girl gripped Gasser's hand tightly, as both smiled at each other, the other two human adults not looking back at them. Their journey would only become more exciting, stupid, action-filled, and zanier than ever.

... Wait a minute...

"Yawn Man, I slept soooooo well!" Poppa Rocks stretched his arms out towards the air as he stepped out of his tent.

"I felt like I slept the best five minutes of my life in that sleep!" Jelly warmly stated, pulling off his Nu-kanji Nightcap.

"I feel so reinvigorated I wanna share it with everyone!" Dengakuman chirped.

The harsh truth finally hit them: they turned their heads slowly to see the humans of the gang walk towards the rising sun.

"HEY! WAIT UP!" And the screen freezes to black as the other panicked three start to catch up to the rest of their comrades.

--

Will More Bald Empire soldiers appear to stop our friends?

Will the Author intentionally put more sappy Beauty/Gasser moments in? ...Yes

Will Poppa Rocks ever complete his college degree in time?

And will Milder and Mitch ever keep up with Bo-bobo and gang?

Milder and Mitch walk up to the screen. "Tune in Next Time!"

(Note: Yeah... I put Gasser/Beauty stuff in... I won't put a lot of it in though... :P) 


	7. Dividing 7

Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo: Video Crisis!

Disclaimer: I don't own this series, any series that makes any cameo appearances, or the people who have made Bo-bobo. I do, however, own this fic.

Check from the previous chapters on how I named each character, so I won't have to do it again on the upcoming chapters.

--

"IT... WAS... TERRIBLE!"

A bandaged up Balder McBaldington (a.k.a. Larry) was lying on a trauma-ward bed, regailing his comrades with his encroaching defeat at the hands of the Bald Empire's most feared enemy: Bo-bobo.

"His afro, it was so GOLD and unscrewable!" He threw his arms around. "His nose hairs, and his ability to unite his techniques with his friends... It's almost GODLY!" Larry finally screamed. "And you, Mr. Narrator..." Yes? "You can call me Larry-kun..."

"Okay, he's going crazy, ma'am." A miscellanious goon called out, to something sitting in a chair.

"He's talking to the sky." Another said.

"Heh, don't worry, men." A commanding female tone spoke out. "Let him rest, and then we'll let him get his revenge."

A loud stomp... another loud stomp...

"So, you wanna play with Bo-bobo, my most loyal lieutenant?" She asked.

A louder stomp, that sent poor Larry-kun off the side of his bed, screaming in pain.

"MY HIPS!"

"So be it..." She stood up, and pointed out the window. "Now go! Bring that foolish Bo-bobo to his death!"

The booming stomps started fading... whatever was causing them was walking away.

"Bo-bobo..." The female authority mused. "Methinks you'll pay for being alive... and for making my little brother stand against me."

"Ma'am!" A third goon took notice of Larry-kun's condition. "Shadow Spy McBaldington's bleeding internally!"

"WHAT?" She cried out. "Send our med team quickly! We of the Bald Empire Intarweb Corps will NOT lose another one of our men!"

--

"So, I was thinking about something, minna..." Poppa Rocks mused. "What's our positions in this team?

Bo-bobo, Poppa Rocks, Jelly Jiggler, Dengakuman, Beauty, Gasser, and Hatenkou we're continuing on their trail-blazing towards crushing evil. Unbeknownst to them, Dengakuman left fire in his tiny footsteps.

"NOT LITERALLY TRAIL-BLAZING!" Beauty screamed.

"Okay, gang! This is our stereotypical roles!" Bo-bobo cried out.

Suddenly, a spreadsheet with measurements in height appeared to their sides. Beauty just looked at it, but decided to play along with their mind games. The order standing was from shortest to tallest: Dengakuman, Poppa, Jelly, Beauty, Gasser, Hatenkou, Bo-bobo (afro included), and just right beside him was a large tree. Everyone stared at the tree.

A face suddenly appeared on the tree, and its branches became arms. "Sorry, didn't mean to bud in on you guys. I'll just be on my way, and eat a couple of people." The treant tipped its fedora at them, and then used it's mighty roots to walk merrily along.

Ignoring a complaining Beauty, the afroed hero shouted out. "Okay, minna! These are our initial jobs, although we can change them, at anytime." He looked at the other end of the chart. "Dengakuman: Adorable Support!"

"Yeah, I can see myself not fighting directly, but lending my abilities for key techniques--"

He was cut off by Bo-bobo. "Poppa Rocks: D-o-T'er!"

"WHAT?" He was astounded, but not in the good way. "My techniques are not hurtful on a damage over time basis!"

"Jelly Jiggler: Tank!"

"Cool!" Jelly's eyes shone, clearly missing the lingo. "I get an armored terrain vehicle!"

"To tank;" Poppa pulled out an online dictionary. "When one holds the complete attention and aggression of an enemy unit, so they do not go after the tank's allies."

"WHAT!" The blue man screeched. "I don't wanna protect you guys!"

"Beauty: Cute Support/Healer!"

"Wow... what a designation." Beauty remarked.

"Gasser: Long Range Damage Dealer!"

"WHA?" He exclaimed.

"Hatenkou: Puller!"

"WHY WOULD I WANT TO BRING US TROUBLE?" He whined.

"And for myself..." He pulled out a sheet of paper, and was shocked by something. He ripped up the paper, kicked away the chart, and started walking on ahead. "Well gang, enough with our break, so let's get going."

"BO-BOBO!" Everyone screamed, and started pursuing him.

--

Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo: Video Crisis!

A Man's Home is his Castle! But What Happens when the Man IS the Castle? DESTRUCTION!

--

The gang came across a mountain clearing, seeing a bustling city nestled inbetween the impenetrable forests, where calm, peace and quiet reign supreme. The sun was just coming out of the clouds.

"Good Afternoon, all..." The strange Poppa-shaped sun said whispily, hovering in the sky.

"WILL YOU STOP WITH THAT ALREADY?" Beauty yelled, throwing a rock at his face, shattering him into pieces. "AAAUGH!"

"What the hell, Beauty?" The orange candy appeared behind her, with a bandage right between his eyes. "You destroyed our sun! Now we're gonna have a new ice age on us!"

Another bright orb in the sky appeared. "Uh, that's alright. I'm the sun's understudy, Franklin."

"Franklin?" Bo-bobo stared directly at it in bewilderment.

Poppa tore his candy skin off to reveal a feudal-era samurai outfit underneath. "You may have been trained under the arts of the Sun, but I, his most famed successor, Poppa Patchi, will settle this score with you!"

"Go Poppa Patchi!" Hatenkou cheered, before he got bopped on the head with a 10 ton prop hammer.

"EMPHASIZE the syllables!" The samurai candy growled.

"Very well..." The sun known as Franklin tsked to the side. "If that's how you wanna play, then prepare to perish!"

'Poppa Patchi' dashed back a bit, giving him enough leeway so that he could start charging at the sun. The sun did the same, hurtling his massive form dangerously towards the ground!

"NO YOU IDIOTS!" Gasser over-reacted. "YOU'LL KILL US ALL--"

A catastrophical explosion...

"And that's how we all died." An old man Bo-bobo said, as he rocked back and forth in his rocking chair, his greying afro slowly sagging to the ground.

A little kid Jelly looked earnestly. "Granddaddy, if that's how we all died, how come we're all still here?"

He chuckled. "If I told you the bleak truth, little jelly-snapper, it would involve something how all reality is really inside our own minds, and how we rejected instrument-something and imagination, and we'd be sued by Gainax, and killed by mechs."

Okay, now this is ridiculous... back to the scene before...

"I'm just joshin' ya, Franky!" Poppa chuckled. "You'd make a PERFECT Sun! Now get out there, and be the best-damn energy provider you can be!"

"Thanks, Mr. Rocks! I will!" The Sun smiled, as he now stayed up at his respected distance.

--

The Muscle Crush Milder looked down at his brother, who was crushed by a measurements chart with a boot imprint on it.

"Just when we get out of the forest, you get walloped by a sign."

"Shut up..." The tinier elder brother groaned.

A loud step... Another loud step...

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO--"

--

The gang decided that this clearing that looked down at the city below was the perfect place to have lunch. Beauty, Gasser, and Poppa Rocks ate together, seeing the other four eat... in a Japanese-style living room.

"WHA?"

Bo-bobo was wearing lipstick, an apron, a motherly dress, and holding a bonnet-wearing Dengakuman in his arms. "That's right, little Den-baby... drink your milk..." He brought out a bottle, and punched it in his face, sending the little white guy onto where the others were.

"Ohoho, wife, you and your child abuse..." Jelly laughed, as he resumed reading the newspaper. Bursting through their door was the uniform clad Hatenkou, holding a wooden sword behind his back.

"Good day at school, honey?" Bo-bobo asked.

"Meh, it was alright, ma!" He brought his sword onto his lap. "My teachers say I'm a rebel all the time, but wait until they see my AXE!" He unsheathed his wooden sword, and pulled out a honking large guitar, and played a bass-ripping solo! Everyone clapped, even the sun and the carpets. "And, it even doubles AS an AXE!" He flipped the guitar around, and it became a sharp-bladed axe, which he proceeded to cleave the table in two.

"Okay... that doesn't surprise me so much..." Beauty said, but her eyes soon sunk, seeing Bo-bobo, Jelly, and Hatenkou eating calmly.

"Keep it down, Beauty." The afroed blond called out. "We're trying to eat quietly over here." He sighed delightfully amidst Beauty's cry. "What a great meal that was!"

"It certainly was!" Hatenkou added.

But just as the gang all got up, The two blonds collapsed. "WHAT'S HAPPENING NOW?" The girl of the group shrieked.

"Hmm..." The candy walked up to the two of them. He poked their knees. "You two will do it in--"

"NOT US!" Gasser bolted his foot into Poppa's face.

"Sowwy..." The candy missing a tooth said, as he walked to the lying two. He poked their knees. "Poor guys, they've been up all night fighting a Bald Empire goon... they didn't get their proper sleep."

"Well, we know what to do, everyone!" Dengakuman chirped, drawing out two ice creamsicles.

"That's right!" Jelly exclaimed. He tied a rope around both Bo-bobo's and Hatenkou's waists, and tied them to his stomach, dragging them as he walked.

"THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT!" The white thing squawked.

"Wait, so we're not dragging them behind us?" Poppa inquired, tying himself to a rope around Hatenkou.

"NO!"

"Well, you're no fun, you meanie..." Poppa said grimly, as he turned his back on them, and started to cry.

Suddenly, a loud step... another loud step...

The booming sounds of the steps were massive enough to rouse Bo-bobo and Hatenkou from sleep and into immediate fighting stances. Seeing this, the others decided to follow suit. The sole girl of the group even tried to mimic Bo-bobo's stance, but she clumsily fell over, and just braced her arms and fists.

What they saw was a massive, massive, massive, MASSIVELY large metallic being. He appeared to look like a rust-colored armored knight, with a large shield and everything. If there was a scale drawing comparing how big he was to the others, Bo-bobo would be halfway up the being's SHIN. The massive knight's armet (helmet) looked down at our heroes. It took half a step back, drawing out it's massive sapphire-hilt sword. Its form looked powerful.

"BEHOLD! THE MAGNIFICENCE... OF MY POWER!"

However, the more than squeaky and wimpy voice emanating from the knight gave the gang second thoughts about their opponent. Unintentionally, the gang broke down in laughter.

"WHAT? YOU DARE MOCK MY BRILLIANTLY POWERFUL FORM?"

"Dude!" Poppa Rocks yelled. "You sound like a wiener! Like we're gonna be afraid of you in your nerd suit!"

"IT MATTERS NOT THE SOUND OF MY VOICE!" The knight said, stepping on the orange candy. "WHY IS THE PEN MIGHTIER THAN THE SWORD? ALL THE SWORD HAS TO DO IS SLICE THE PEN IN HALF! THAT'S MY PHILOSOPHY!"

"SHUT UP!" Jelly yelled back, as his purple aura started channelling around him. New liquid serpents came out of his back once more, lunging themselves at the giant. "Super Shaky Shake Fist! VERTICAL JELLY VIPER STRIKE!" The knight easily sliced the snakes in two, making the Jiggler whine in pain. "AAAAUUGH!"

"Jelly!" Bo-bobo was concerned.

"I AM ONE OF THE TRUSTED LIEUTENANTS IN THE BALD EMPIRE'S INTARWEB CORPS! I AM DATASTOMPER EPAULET (Shoulder armor)! THOUGH MY CLOSE FRIENDS CALL ME SIDNEY."

"I think Sidney's a nice name for that squeakiness inside, sir!" Beauty called out.

"I HATE THE NAME SIDNEY!" Below, Beauty gawked. "VILE WENCH, DO NOT MAKE ME SLAM YOU LIKE I DID YOUR ORANGE COMRADE!"

"Hey!" Gasser called in anger. "Take the compliment at least, jerk!"

"Yeah, you big meanie!" Dengakuman stupidly performed a flying side kick at the armored sabaton of his foot, surprisingly denting it.

"WHAT!" Sidney looked down, fussying over the impossibly-sized dent in his foot. "HOW DID YOU DO THAT, YOU LITTLE FIEND?"

Ignoring the fussying of the massive warrior, Bo-bobo pointed up at him. "So, you've come to finish what Larry couldn't?"

He finally ignored the dent, and cleared his throat. "THAT IS CORRECT, HONORABLE BO-BOBO! I, DATASTOMPER EPAULET WILL CHALLENGE YOU AND YOUR ALLIES IN MOST HONORABLE COMBAT! I WILL FIGHT ON BEHALF OF MY POKER BUDDY LARRY, AND ON BEHALF OF THE CAPTAIN OF THE INTARWEB CORPS, LADY MARMALADA JIGGLER!"

Jelly's eyes became drastic. "What...?"

"Do you know that person, Jelly?" Hatenkou asked.

"Now it all makes sense..." The blue man sighed. "The woman in orange in my nightmares..." The blue man pulled out a locket, and a picture of a red, a pink, and a younger blue Jelly appeared, with a corner of the photo ripped off. "She's... my long lost sister!"

"WHA?" Gasser was appalled.

Poppa slithered out from under the knight's feet, and suddenly popped in front of Jelly's face. "WOW! YOU have a sister? That's so excellent! Is she hot?"

"Poppa, now's not the time!" Beauty screamed.

"I CAN VOUCH FOR A FACT, THAT SHE IS INDEED QUITE RAVISHING!" The knight added, making Beauty just gawk unbelievably. "REGARDLESS, THIS TOPIC OF CONVERSATION IS BEGINNING TO BORE ME! LET US NOW DUEL, BO-BOBO!"

"So be it." Bo-bobo channeled his golden aura around his being. "Fist of the Nose Hair!" His body began glowing white, as he suddenly became enveloped in the glowing energy. Amidst the shine, a giant mecha with a spherical dome atop its face. The massive size of the mecha was... up to the shoulders of the knight. "BO-GINEER EXPERT: BO-BOBO BATTLE BOT!"

"Okay..." The other three humans were dumbfounded. 

Poppa, however, flew up into the cockpit of the mech's face. "Ensen Rocks, reporting!"

"EEEEK!" Bo-bobo, with lipstick on and in a bubble bath, started screaming, with the candy glaring. "Pervert! Get out!"

"What?" Poppa Rocks was now angry, as he grabbed the tub, and kicked Bo-bobo out of the Bo mech. "This is MY mech, you harpy!" Suddenly, Bo-bobo came back in his normal attire, except his arms were wings, and he had a beak. He ignored the loud 'caw' of the Bo-bird, and the complaining Beauty. "I didn't say it in the literal sense, you jerk!" With that, he fired a sky uppercut, and sent Bo-bobo once more into the stratosphere.

"I SAY..." The no longer ignored knight was intrigued by Poppa uppercutting his best friend into space. "SO, SHALL WE FINALLY BEGIN?"

The cockpit finally closed on him, as his magnificently annoying voice boomed through the Bo-bobo mech. "Bring it on, muscle complex!"

"YOU WILL SOON REGRET THOSE WORDS, HEATHEN!" Sidney-- "I WOULD APPRECIATE IT IF YOU WOULD NOT CALL ME SIDNEY, KIND NARRATOR..." Sorry... Epaulet lept into the air amazingly, and his massive silver sword started shining. "Technique of Knightly Devotion! SILVER SWORD WAVE!" As whiny as his voice was, he launched an energy wave at an incredible speed.

"Oh man, that's fast!" Poppa reacted, by pressing a button on his panel. "Activate the Jelly Defense Barrier!"

The mech grabbed Jelly from the ground, stretched him out so much until he became a makeshift shield, and he dissipated the entirety of the attack, at the cost of Jelly being cleaved immensely. "I CURSE YOU, DOOOOOOOD!" He wailed as his pieces fell on the ground.

"THAT IS NOT IMPRESSIVE." The knight insulted him, as his sword suddenly green. "NOW, TAKE THIS! Technique of Knightly Devotion! CRY OF THE FOREST!" From his mighty blade, a torrent of nature-channeled energy proceeded, but was unfortunately halted, by the mech using poor Dengakuman to suck up the total amount of energy. "WHAT DUR?" He was dumbstruck.

"I don't feel so good--" before he could finish his sentence, Dengakuman popped like a balloon, and exploded in faint energy. Fortunately, he just rematerialized unconsciously on top of a dead Jelly.

"I'm... not dead..."

"Fool! I was only warming up!" Poppa called out. "Now, eat some firepower!" The hands of the mech retracted, only to release a torrent of fire. "Fire melts metal, right?"

"BWAHAHA! THIS IS THY FINEST EFFORT?" Epaulet boomed his taunt, scraping his feet against the ground, bearing his rust-colored shield at the storm of flames. Unfortunately, the shield was rust-colored, because it really WAS rusty, and crumbled apart. "OH MY!"

"You left yourself open, man!" The Bo-bobo mech suddenly flew at the knight, and released a volley of punches, kicks, and repeated smacks with REALLY oversized lunch trays. "Yeah, you've been a bad boy! Now get back to class!"

"WHAT CLASS?" Everyone else screamed.

(Movie Preview: Repairing the Epaulet)

A normal high school classroom. Males and females of all colors, sizes, and races (I saw a couple of crocodile Ko-gals in there) were studying diligently. Outside the window, was the massive knight Epaulet, sitting on the school field in his school uniform over his armor.

The knight sighed. "THE SUN IS SO HOT..."

"See what happens, when one who is out of place, gets taught the meaning of all of life's intricacies..." It was Jelly's turn to be the voice narration.

"OH GREAT SUN-SEMPAI, WHY CAN'T I UNDERSTAND WHO MY HEART BELONGS TO?" He pleaded.

The shining sun beamed brightly. "You just need to take your time, and remember to stay true to yourself."

"WHAT THE!" Beauty gawked in the audience.

"BOMARU-SEMPAI! WHY CAN'T I UNDERSTAND THIS PROBLEM?" The knight pleaded to Bo-bobo, his armored visage keeping his eyes on Bo-bobo's on the rooftop.

"It's simple, friend!" He jumped on Epaulet's shoulder. "This problem never existed. You're just over stressed, is all. Try to take some time and enjoy life."

Scene change to the giant, standing atop a mountaintop. "THANK YOU ALL! YOU HAVE SHOWED ME TO APPRECIATE LIFE! NOW, I MUST REPAY THE FAVOR DEARLY!"

(Repairing the Epaulet, coming soon... never)

"HOW DARE YOU!" The knight's sword finally turned into a blood red, and he raised it completely in the air. "I DESERVE TO HAVE A MOVIE TOO! NOW HAVE AT YOU!"

"Huh?"

"Technique of Knightly Devotion! FLARE EXECUTE!"

The sword dug into the top of the mech, and cleaved cleanly through it, hacking it in a fiery rage into 15 pieces.

"Top of the head, my face, my left cheek, my right eye, the middle of my neck, left elbow, right pinky, left ribcage, stomach, left thigh, right thigh, right knee, left knee, left shin, heart..." Poppa Rocks said weakly, coughing up orange.

"WHAT?"

"I'm going to have you take proper responsibility..." He could only smirk. "...for killing me..."

The Bo-bobo mech exploded, engulfed in a sea of fire. The metal crashed to the ground, as well as the city below, exploding that in another massive chain of flames.

"No... NOOOOOOOOOOO!" Beauty cried, her tears we're becoming too much for her, as Gasser held her close.

"Not him..." Jelly stuttered. "Sister... you will pay for this, I assure you..."

"HE WAS A WORTHY OPPONENT..." Epaulet sheathed his sword again. "AS HONORABLE AS THEY COME... HEAVEN WILL BE PLEASED TO RECEIVE A--"

"Fist of the Nose Hair!" Bo-bobo released a powerful war cry, as he was hurtling back from the stars, and, all while wearing a duck costume, channeled his foot into a powerful aura. "STAR STRIKE OF NOSE HEAVEN!" His kick broke the powerful rune on top of his head, causing the knight to slowly teeter, and finally collapse on the forest.

"BO-BOBO!" Beauty bawled. "HE... HE KILLED POPPA!"

"What!" A new anger killed a part of himself, as Bo-bobo looked towards the fallen giant. "We will avenge you, old friend..."

Suddenly, the giant was surrounded in a magic circle, as his massive size was starting to shrink back down, as he was now Bo-bobo's size. He got up, and looked around at his surroundings.

"Well," the still whiny voice of the knight spoke out. "Good riddance to that tall business. At the least, my powers are no longer limited."

"SIDNEY!" Bo-bobo thrust into his fighting stance. "You will pay for Poppa's death!"

"Oh, he will, Bo-bobo... he will..." said an eerie-voiced Poppa Rocks... who was standing right beside them, unscathed and unharmed.

"GWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!" Beauty shrieked.

"Seven against one now?" The knight chortled. "Should be a worthy challenge! Prepare for round two, heathens! Have at you!"

--

How will our friends deal with this medieval menace?

Will the Intarweb Corps push onward with their plans for domination?

Will Baseball Diamond Player have to work with his long time nemesis, Basketball Court Man, to save the city?

"WHAT THE HELL?" Jelly screamed.

And when did Jelly get a side-story?

"Harsh..." He sighed. "Oh well, tune in next time!" 


	8. Subscript 8

Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo: Video Crisis! 

Disclaimer: I don't own this series, any series that makes any cameo appearances, or the people who have made Bo-bobo. I do, however, own this fic.

Check from the previous chapters on how I named each character, so I won't have to do it again on the upcoming chapters.

--

"It appears we are overwhelmed, Baseball Diamond Player..."

"It's not over yet, Basketball Court Man!"

The two enemies-turned-temporary allies looked around them, as they were surrounded by hordes of jet black and azure skinned beings. Some of them looked like mutated shrews, some like feral foxes, and some of them even looked like normal and giant humanoids alike.

"These aliens..."

"C'mon! Where's that fiery spirit you had when you fought me?"

Their eyes shone brightly, as they began their attack; the animal ones lunged forward, at the same time the humanoid aliens grabbed various debris and proceeded to wield them as crude weapons.

The aliens all seem to speak in one unified voice. "THE BLUE KNEES WILL RULE!"

--

The gang were face to face with the normal-sized form of Datastomper Epaulet, the knightly lieutenant of the Bald Empire's Intarweb Corps. With the seven of them in their fighting positions, the rust-colored knight pulled out his sapphire-hilted silver sword once more. He pointed his sword out.

"Bo-bobo!" The whine of the knight began. "I should thank you for releasing me of that giant stature! It placed a darned limiter on my powers."

"So now we'll fight you at your full potential?" He inquired.

"That is most correct. Now, prepare--" Before Epaulet could finish, he was coughing very loudly, as if he was choking on something.

"RUSH HIM TO THE E.R.!" Hatenkou panicked.

"No way! He's the bad guy." Poppa Rocks clubbed Dengakuman hard, sending him flying into the knight.

"WHY'D YOU HIT HIM FOR?" Beauty screamed.

Suddenly, a tiny imp came out of the knight's armet, with X's over its eyes. The knight otherwise known as Sidney soon cleared his throat, and gasped. He 'hah'-ed. He raised his voice in the usual do-re-mi-fa-so-la-ti-do, holding a stupendous high note. Tears of waterfalls were gushing down the visor of the armet.

"AT LAST!" His voice no longer in a squeaky whine, but that of a rugged knightliness, wailed with passion. "My old voice! I sound regal again! HOHOHOHOHO--" He got clobbered in the face by a Dengakuman to the face. However, he was unfazed by the assault the second time around.

"OW! OH GOD, THAT STINGS!" The tiny white character whined.

"Hmm... you didn't fall for it that time..." Poppa Rocks said.

"And you!" Epaulet thrust his sword at the candy. "How are YOU still alive?"

"Huh?" The orange guy was genuinely confused, then a sudden light bulb shined above his head. "OH! That was my body double!"

"SINCE WHEN DO YOU HAVE BODY DOUBLES!" Beauty gawked.

"Nevertheless..." The Bald Empire knight swung his sword in the air, then pointed it at Bo-bobo and the group. "Enough stalling! Bo-bobo, you and your comrades will face my unlimited might!"

As the scene was now frozen with all eight of the combatants charging at their enemies, a loud announcer-ish voice boomed. "DO OR DIE! LET'S GET IT ON!"

--

Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo: Video Crisis

Return to the No-Holds Barred World of Bountiful Fun! With a side of pain! OMG

--

"Phew... Good thing that giant knight didn't step on us..." The no longer in pain Mitch sighed in relief, as he and his buffer brother we're picnicking beside the massive footprint.

"Yeah, let's just sit back, relax, and eat this wonderful lunch that Ma made us." The now happy Milder chirped as he started eating his bento box, gulping it down in an instant, box and all.

The Soul Devourer could only stare... "Holy..."

"Excuse me!" A gruff, long purple strand of hair with muscled arms, legs, and shades asked. "My name is Bababa, and I was wondering if you've seen my good pal, Bo-bobo?"

The brothers could only gawk at the purple hair. "We're looking for him too." The younger brother broke the silence. "He's our newest rival."

"Yeah," The hair known as Bababa started picking at his ear. "Bo-bobo tends to make a lot of fighting rivals." He then wills a three-seater bicycle to appear out of nowhere. "Maybe, if we're fast enough, we can make it to Bo-bobo World! C'mon gang!"

And with that, the three of them we're biking FURIOUSLY down a dirt road, kicking up dirt, squirrels, a wandering octopus in a pot that survived the terrible incident at the beach, and a tiny mole.

"Soon, Bo-bobo... very soon..."

--

"Have at you, with my rapid strikes!" Epaulet pulled his arm back, and began thrusting his sword at a very sonic-like speed, the others barely having enough time to evade the attacks. Under the shineless armet, he smirked as he felt his sword connect with something... "FISH?" He stood confused, seeing Bo-bobo, Jelly, Poppa, and Hatenkou riding around on unicycles. "What in the seven holy Hells?"

"NYA-NYA! You can't hit us!" Bo-bobo taunted, with a silly fan on his blond afro.

"Unicycles pwn j00!" Jelly and Hatenkou squealed, also with fans on their heads.

"You can't defeat me on unicycle! Unicycles are the chariots of the ancient gods!"

Poppa Rocks charged in with his battle cry, wheeling his unicycle towards the knight. Unfortunately, Epaulet's sword was being charged with a bright electric current, and slapped the orange candy on the face with the flat side of his blade.

"IDIOT!"

Poppa was felled, as Bo-bobo, Jelly, and Hatenkou looked down at him in disappointment.

Bo-bobo, suddenly wearing a gangster's fedora on top of the fan on his head, shook his head. "You have shamed the guild of the Unicycle Mob. It pains me to say this, but we cannot tolerate this kind of shame. Turn in your vehicle."

Pain-stricken eyes clenched tightly, as the candy grabbed his unicycle, and handed it to Bo-bobo angrily, before he started walking away. "I'll show you, Bo-bobo... I'll show you all...!"

"You make fine jesters and actors, but fighters, you are not!" The knight interrupted the scene, as his sword grew immensely. "Prepare to taste the flat end of my blade!" He slapped all four of them hard, the sound of cold steel slamming resonating everywhere.

"Bah, this is no good!" Poppa Rocks spat at the ground. He turned to the two human kids. "Beauty! Gasser! Lend me some power!"

"Right!"

The three of their auras started shining, as they leapt out of the way of the knight's massive sword swipe. Their hands were pointing out in unison, also charging up powerful energies in their palms.

"Fist of the Onara Support Star! POPPA SATTELITE BEAM!"

Their energies fired down to pink, yellow, and orange star-shaped beams, combining to make a bright crimson star, hurtling towards the armored Sidney. The warrior side-stepped out of the way, the attack continuing to head down, down, down... well, let's just say it's a big freakin' star-shaped hole.

"WHA! HOW DID WE MISS?" Beauty and Poppa screamed.

"Next time, make a technique that homes in, good fellows." His sword shrank back down to it's normal size, as he launched another one of his techniques. "Technique of Knightly Devotion! AERIAL SILVER SWORD WAVE!" The attack connected, and knocked the three of them to the ground. "Yes, a spot of good luck for once."

"That's it! I didn't think I'd have to do this move, but now you leave me no choice!" Bo-bobo yelled out, as his golden aura started surrounding the entire area.

"Whatcha doing?" Hatenkou asked, feeling himself being pushed slowly away by the energy.

"Bo-bobo, don't do it!" Jelly warned.

"Fist of the Nose Hair! **BO-BOBO WORLD**!"

As suddenly as the technique was announced, the world around them became very, VERY different. The matted grass of the forest became a vibrant green, with flowers that could never be killed by stepping on them. The trees took on the same appearance, and they were graphically enhanced. The sky was now bright pink with clouds, with crazy birds of varying species flying through the air. All seven of them looked at the knight, who was also becoming affected by the summoning of Bo-bobo World. His rust-colored armor was disappearing, and he was becoming a shining gold armored man.

"Hmm... Impressive..." Epaulet whistled in awe. "Although I am grateful for the, uh, spit-shine, I enjoyed having my rust-painted armor, so I could fool my adversaries."

"Relax and have some fun, because at Bo-bobo World, ANYTHING HAPPENS!"

--

"What's happening to the sky?" Milder asked, seeing the effects of the technique reaching even them.

The giant purple hair grew excited. "Bo-bobo World has been summoned! TIME TO PARTY!"

"We must be close then..." Mitch mused.

--

"WELCOME TO THE BO-BOBO WORLD'S BO-BOBO PARTY!" Bo-bobo blew a giant streamer, that whipped Hatenkou in the back of the face.

"OW!" The spiky blond looked at the afroed man. "I'll kill you!"

The two started beating each other up in a comical fashion, including the stereotypical scuffle in the dust cloud. The knight almost started to break down in laughter, both at the patheticness of the two, and of the overall atmosphere of the environment. "What is this place? I cannot stop with the glee!"

"Um..." Beauty walked up to the knight, donned in a school girl outfit, suddenly giving him a letter. "This is for you." Gasser gawked as he saw the envelope had a little heart stamp on it.

"Oh, oh my, really?" the bright pink blush overtaking Epaulet's helmeted cheeks was present, as he was taking the letter from her hands. He started opening it slowly... "I never actually got a letter from anyone before--" the letter exploded, sending him flying into a tree.

"What the?" The silver-haired teen looked at Beauty.

She smiled, and waved her finger. "Varied Support Fist: FALSE LOVE BOMB." She winked with a little heart.

"Ow... I felt like I got kicked by Jesus..." Sidney-- "Alright, you may call me Sidney, fine narrator." Thanks. Sidney picked himself up, seeing Poppa Rocks and Jelly Jiggler coming madly at him in a giant wheelbarrow.

"OUT OF THE WAY!" Jelly motioned.

"WE CAN STILL MAKE FIRST PLACE!" Poppa exagerrated.

They collided into the golden knight, but they were knocked down and to the side, with swirls in their eyes. Sidney was not phased by the stupid assault. However, he was mowed down quickly by a drunken Bo-bobo and his two drunken squirrels. He was flattened fully, but then reformed himself.

"Oh my, such a silly place." He shook off the light pain, as he saw many birds in pink-striped scarfs, led by Hatenkou, wearing a beak over his mouth. He cawwed loudly, and out of nowhere, all the other birds come to attack Sidney. He pulled out his weapon. "Take this! Technique of Knightly Devotion! SILVER SILLY FAN!" The knight's fan slapped all the birds into the air, even knocking Hatenkou through four trees. He then looked at his weapon. "What the? WHAT HAPPENED TO MY SWORD!"

"GOLDEN BO-PIKO HAMMER!" Bo-bobo, dressed in silver armor and a cape, came out of nowhere, and clubs Sidney in the back of the head with a 300-pound squeaky hammer, knocking him straight to the ground.

"Excuse us..."

The knight reformed himself again, to see Beauty and Gasser in different schoolgirl uniforms, holding a large box with their hands.

"HOLY GOD, MY EYES!" Poppa screamed in disgust.

"We're the presidents of the Datastomper Epaulet/Sidney fan club, and we want you to have this box of yummy chocolates!" Beauty said sweetly.

"W-w-what?" He blushed again, then suddenly looked sternly at them. "Wait a minute... These wouldn't be booby-trapped, would they? I have been hurt before..."

"Nope!" Gasser chirped in his best imitation of a girly voice. "These are yummy chocolates, and they're all yours!"

"Oh, when you put it THAT way...!" He giddily took the box from their hands, and he bowed. "Thank you ever so much." He opened the box of assorted chocolates, popped open the visor in his armet, and tossed one of the treats inside. All that could be heard was the sound of the candy clanging all around inside the armor. "Mmmm, caramel."

"Uh, we didn't see your face in there..." Beauty and Gasser were freaked out.

"Oh, well, you see, I'm just a spirit that's permenantly attached to this armor. Something out of an alchemy show, wouldn't you say?" He picked out another candy, ignoring the gawking eyes of the schoolgirl-dressed teens. "Ooh, and I wonder what flavor YOU are..."

He cracks it open in half, and out suddenly pops Jelly Jiggler in a red jacket. "EQUIVALENT EXCHANGE, BITCH!" His jelly legs turned into massive fists, as he slammed them into Sidney's armored frame. "I kick you, and you fall down!"

"That's not how it works!" Bo-bobo screamed, as he got a giant razor and sliced down Jelly horizontally. "TIMBER!"

"WAAAAAAAAAHH!"

The top portion of Jelly fell over, sending a sudden crack into the ground that launched the knight into the air, and heading over to a pond that had the shape of the Poppa Sattelite Beam's encryption. Poppa Rocks is seen wearing a one-piece bikini and makeup, smiling as he was sipping a martini.

"What the!" Poppa spotted Sidney falling very fast towards him. "Not on my watch, big boy!" Suddenly, the star-shaped pond became a star-shaped missile silo, launching a Don Patchi (TM) brand missile out at the knight, knocking him down to the ground in a massive explosion.

"Well, if it's a party you brigands want," Sidney scoffed, as he suddenly threw on a giant party hat on top of his helmet. "THEN A PARTY YOU WILL GET!"

He got out his sapphire-hilted silver fan, and a large crowd of random passersby came around and started dancing around him. He was dancing very festively, as he started swinging his fan delightfully, clubbing all the unfazed party-goers away.

"YO MAN!" Bo-bobo slurred. "HAVE SOME PUNCH!"

"Okay!" Bo-bobo clobbered Sidney directly on his face, knocking his head off, ricocheting off a tree, and back on the top of his armor. "DooD, that was SO cold! Technique of Knightly Devotion! CRY OF THE SILVER SILLY FAN!" He launched another beam, only it had a face on it with tears streaming like waterfalls. "OKAY! I'M OFF THE HOOCH!"

The beam was instantly devoured by the glowing monstrosity that is the Friendship Chimera, (from chapter 3). It had a little party hat, and waved to Bo-bobo, as its freaky spouse and freaky child all waved, dancing to the beat of some taiko drums. "Glad you guys can make it!" Bo-bobo happily stated.

"Don't forget us, Bo-bobo!"

The Bo-nafide hero saw Bababa, Milder, and Mitch riding in on the three seater bike, knocking over Sidney and Dengakuman.

"MILDER! MITCH! HOW ARE YOU GUYS?" Bo-bobo slurred excitedly as he ran over to the bike, kicked the giant nose hair out of the way, and handed each of them a Jack Daniels. "Hey Sidney! Help out with those drums!"

"You got it!"

And with renewed passion, Jelly, Hatenkou, Poppa, and Sidney started banging the taiko drums in the crazy and passionate beat. A little aways from the action, Gasser and Beauty were in tradtional kimonos, as they held each other under a starry pink sky.

"Get ready everyone!" Dengakuman yelled, to the others, monkeys, birds, partygoers, and OCs.

"Here comes the fireworks!" Bo-bobo, sobered up, announced.

And under the fireworks, Beauty looked up at the silver-haired boy's eyes, and happily kissed him, both of their faces lighting up with a childish pink. Jelly was enthralled by this moment, so he took a picture with his Polaroid camera, which made the two break apart in shyness, and Jelly in laughter.

"Shame you're not a good guy, man!" Poppa Rocks said, holding some sake in his hand.

"I know," Sidney said. "But I have my duty to attend to as well, so I am glad that we could party together at least once."

"Yeah..." Bo-bobo placed his hand on Sidney's epaulets (shoulder armor). "Well, let's letthis party go out with a bang!"

"YEAH !"

"Fist of the Nose Hair! MASSIVE MEMORABLE FIREWORK!"

Everyone cleared the area, as the bench the knight was sitting on became a big HONKING firework. The knight gawked at what he was sitting on, but was unfortunately unable to get off in time, as he was sent up to the sky. A massive explosion turned into a massive Bo-bobo display, still eying the hurtling hunk of armor.

--

As of that attack, the Bo-bobo World started to fade out, taking the beautiful greenery and pink skies and Bababa with it. The gang eyed the defeated Sidney on the ground, all his armor scattered.

"My lady... I failed her duty..." He grimly said, as a sudden figure picked up his armet.

"No. You did just fine." A commanding female tone reassured him.

The gang looked forwards, seeing what was a slightly bigger, and more oranger version of Jelly. She was different in the fact that she had gray Beauty-ish eyes, and long flowing black hair.

"Lady Marmalada..."

She picked up the other armor scraps, and put him in a bag. "I'll take you back to the camp and have the good doctor repair you."

"...You are too kind to me..."

"YOU!"

Jelly called out, catching the attention of the orange Jiggler. She walked towards him, as he did the same thing. His eyes looked up, catching the slight taller sibling's view with his own.

Her arms were spread wide, and she became happy. "MY BABY BROTHER!"

"BIG SISTER!" Jelly cried with the same emotion.

"WHAT THE?" Beauty gawked.

Suddenly, they punched each other in the cheeks, knocking Jelly back to his posse, and Marmalada to the bag of armor that holds Sidney.

She laughed towards him. "Oh, stubborn Jelly... stubborn as always..." She hauled the bag on her back, as she turned her back to him. "If you really want to settle the score between us, then come to my units' camp. You can bring your 'friends' if you so want." She walked off into the distance.

"You can bet on it..." Jelly said to himself, suddenly aware that Bo-bobo, Beauty, Gasser, Poppa Rocks, Hatenkou, Dengakuman, Mitch, and Milder were walking off without him. "HEY GUYS! WAIT UP!"

The sun was now bright in the sky, as Jelly ran as fast as he could to catch up with his friends.

--

When will our heroes head over to the Intarweb Corps base camp to fight their foes?

"I thought we were going that way!"

"Ah, let's not let that worry us right now."

Will the city be overrun by the Blue Knees, or will a hero lend a hand and save them all?

And what NEW perils will befall our friends?

Poppa Rocks says, "Tune in Next time!"


	9. Substitute 9

Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo: Video Crisis! 

Disclaimer: I don't own this series, any series that makes any cameo appearances, or the people who have made Bo-bobo. I do, however, own this fic.

Check from the previous chapters on how I named each character, so I won't have to do it again on the upcoming chapters.

--

"3... 2... 1... GO!"

Bo-bobo and Poppa Rocks were bouncing on a large blue trampoline, literally hurtling themselves into the clouds, trying to grab as many air-bound tokens as possible. The two were competing against each other, as the bright blue sky welcomed them, and they passed through clouds with smiley faces on them. After 10 bounces, they finally landed on the ground, creating a shockwave that knocked minor rocks off their formations.

"I got 19 tokens!" Poppa Rocks cheered.

"25 for me!" Bo-bobo gloated. "I am the Bo-tastic master!" Seeing his comrade slump in defeat, he extended his hand to the candy. "It was a good run. So, chin up... I bet you'll beat me next time."

"Thanks for being a good sport, Bo-bobo." Poppa Rocks looked into his eyes, blushing slightly, as rose petals started swirling around them whimsically. Their faces neared each other's--

"OH GOD, MY RIBCAGE!" Jelly cried outloud, as he was clutching his chest, and cursing angrily at the two who jumped on him like a tramp...oline. He was even struggling to breathe. "WHY DID YOU GUYS JUMP ON _ME_?"

"You ruined the mood!" Bo-bobo, appearing in a white martial artist's gi, uppercutted Jelly with a nostalgic Shoryuken, sending him into the sky. "Bee-yotch."

"Quit wasting time and let's go!" Beauty harped.

--

In the previous chapters, Bo-bobo and pals camped out in the beautiful vastments of nature. But while the gang were having the time of their lives in controlled wilderness, a spy of the Bald Empire by the name of Balder McBaldington, a.k.a. Larry, stealthed into the camp until he was discovered by Bo-bobo and Hatenkou.

The two fought quickly and quietly, if that was even possible, and sent Larry flying back to his Intarweb Corps base camp. The leader of the Corps, Lady Marmalada Jiggler, sent her most trusted lieutenant, Datastomper Epaulet, a.k.a. Sidney, to rid themselves of Bo-bobo and his entourage for good.

The massive encounter between Sidney and the Bo-gineered Bo-bobo Battle Bot brought about Poppa Rocks's demise...

"I'm going to have you take proper responsibility... for killing me..."

...For all of two minutes, before we found out it was a stunt double that got brutally cut up. But, I digress... With Bo-bobo removing the limiter that kept the knight's power in check, the gang fought a souped-up Epaulet, which resorted Bo-bobo to use his most devastating technique.

"**BO-BOBO WORLD**!"

In the fancy-free whimsical world of Bo-bobo World, Bo-bobo, Sidney, and the gang were having fun and trouncing the crap out of the Bald Empire's knight, ultimately resulting in the knight's utter defeat. He would have been scrap metal, had the orange-colored Marmalada herself appeared, gathered his remains, and had a brief battle with her long-lost brother, the blue Jelly. Now, with a new resolve, Jelly, and our heroes, continue on in their quest!

--

The surrounding area was now dotted in lovely reds and pinks, reflecting the sunset that was coming down upon our heroes. Owls beginning to pop out of hiding, and weasels blind-siding tiny, defenseless mice are just the simple elements of this realm's nature. Also, a tidal wave took down the city that was previously on fire in chapter 7, but we're not focusing on that aspect, now are we?

"Thanks for letting us tag along, Bo-bobo." Milder said gratefully, as he and his brother followed the gang very closely.

"Hey, don't worry about it, fellows." The Bo-nafied hero said, smiling at the two new newcomers to the group. "Even if you'll leave in about 3 chapters or so, following a friendly battle that'll require you two to leave and take care of something personal after we're done."

Mitch shrugged his shoulders. "Sounds about right."

"So, where are we gonna go now?" Hatenkou wondered. "I thought we were gonna beat up those Bald Empire goons, but we're walking completely away from where that orange gal walked to."

"We'll take the scenic route there!" Bo-bobo squealed. "I've always WANTED to take the scenic route!" He put on a little sundress, and started skipping into the density of the trees. "We'll meet lions, and tigers, and bears--oh my! OH MY GOD!"

A sudden feral roar erupted from the trees, making the weaker-spirited Beauty, Dengakuman, and Poppa Rocks jump onto Hatenkou's arms, making him fall to the ground. The others were stunned, hearing the roars of a mighty woodland creature, and Bo-bobo, screaming like a girl.

"Yeah, that's Bo-bobo alright." Beauty sighed.

"I got my money on the beast!" Poppa chimed, holding 50 bucks in his hand, and handing it to Jelly.

"Okay, bets are still open!" Jelly announced, as he was walking around the group, taking small wagers into his bin. "We got 400 on Bo-bobo, and 2900 on the beast." He looked down to a tiny badger. "Would you like to place a wager, young man?"

"Um, actually," the badger shyly stated. "I'd rather want to gnaw at your liver."

The blue man chortled, staring down the creature. "Nice try! But I don't HAVE a liver!" The badger suddenly turned feral, and charged right through Jelly's side, an organ held in its mouth. He looked at the hole in his side, and he started freaking out. "UNTIL TODAY! AUGH!"

"Stop wasting our time and let's save Bo-bobo!" Beauty freaked out.

Suddenly, the beast emerged from the woods, as a bear came out with bandages, a splint on its foreleg, and its stubby tail in a bandage, before it limped away. Poppa, Hatenkou, Milder, Mitch, Dengakuman, and Gasser all glared at the Jelly before they slumped in sadness.

"BWAHAHAHA! You guys have little faith in Bo-bobo, which is why I betted on him, and I WIN!"

From out of nowhere, Bo-bobo appeared behind the tiny Jiggler, looking down at him angrily... in a fluffy brown bear suit. Ignoring a gawking Beauty and Mitch, who both did NOT want to see this sight, he mimicked a perfect ursine roar. "People who take bets can't make BETS THEMSELVES!" His bear gloves glowed a bright green. "Fist of the Nose Hair!"

"Wait! Spare me!"

"Aspect of the Bear: BO-BOBO BEAR CLAW!" He rend Jelly into three chunks, while the remainder of the attack seemed to release an energy shockwave that knocked everyone else off their feet, and made Dengakuman explode.

"WHAT THE?" Gasser zonked at the fallen white thing. His eyes bugged out even further when Dengakuman materialized out of nowhere.

"Bo-bobo, I'm gonna kill you!" The tiny member of the team threatened, as he charged at Bo-bobo in the bear suit.

"Bear Rly?" Bo-bobo said stupidly, a beak suddenly worn over his mouth. Surprisingly enough, all aggression was released from him saying that, and the others continued on with their walk through the woods.

Beauty's head slumped as she walked. "I REALLY hate travelling with you guys..."

--

Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo: Video Crisis

The Forest can be filled with anything, so keep your eyes op--WAAAUUUGGH!

--

It was now nighttime once more, as the large gang stopped in front of a beautiful crystal-sparkling lake. Crystal Trout jumped out of the water in glee, the wondrous moonlight sparkling off of the fish that was JUST eaten by Hatenkou, with a large stork beak over his mouth.

"Hey! It was getting to the best part, you bastard!" Poppa pointed his finger in anger.

"Caw." Hatenkou defiantly stated, before he got tasered by his godfather. "CAWWWWWWWWWWOWWWWW!"

"Change it back to that channel!"

"That fish was not a TV!" Beauty harped, before Hatenkou complied by hacking up the sparkling corpse of the crystal trout. "EWWW!"

"Thank you! Now we're getting somewhere." The candy said in glee, before he got mad, and tossed the corpse into the woods. "Eh, it got boring."

"Okay, we got two jobs to do, if we want this to be our campsite!" Bo-bobo commanded, as everyone lined up immediately. The afroed hero was now in a camp councillor's garb, pulling out a sheet of paper. "Now, we will split the list down between getting some food for dinner, and for setting up the campsite!" He ripped the list in two, prompting gawks from everyone. Realizing his blunder, he sighed in defeat. "Oopsies."

"This time, WE'LL handle the choices!" Poppa and Jelly proceeded to wail on Bo-bobo, who just became a defenseless squirrel.

"Varied Support Fist: GIGA HARISEN!" Beauty slapped Jelly, Poppa, and Bo-bobo hard in the back of the heads with a massive metal fan.

"Thanks for the reality check, Beauty!" The afroed man thanked her, as he handed out a blank check. Ignoring her 'wtf' expression, Bo-bobo decided to see who would do what. "Okay... I, Jelly, Gasser, Hatenkou, and Mitch will go and get some food and fish! Everyone else will stay here and set up camp!"

"Yes sir!" Everyone had saluted. And by everyone, I also mean a couple of treants who were ready to ambush Jelly. They all turned around, and simply shooed the living trees away.

--

Poppa Rocks, Beauty, Dengakuman, and Milder were busy setting up tents, preparing the campfire, and even setting up a clothesline.

Beauty performed a double-take seeing the clothesline. The Muscle Crush only answered her emote with "In case we want to wash our clothes, at least we'll have some place to hang them up to dry."

"Hmm, makes sense." Beauty then looked up at the night sky, seeing the stars faintly shine. "I wish I can see the stars shine a little brighter."

"SKY INPUT ACKNOWLEDGED!" The booming mechanical voice returned. "BRIGHTER TWINKLING STAR EFFECT: ACTIVATED."

Beauty tried her best to ignore the voice, and her ignorance was rewarded when the stars shined brightly, seeming to twinkle in her blue eyes.

"Oh yeah, I forgot about that..." Poppa said to himself. He was about to say something, but was silenced by a glaring Beauty. "Okay, fine... How'd ya know I was gonna say something?"

"A hunch."

"Is that all?"

"Hey guys, look what I found!" Dengakuman chirped, holding up a dead python by the head. This caused reasonable amounts of panic amongst the other three.

"You make sure it's dead, alright?" Milder breathlessly stated.

"Yep, I gave it the finishing blow!"

The others just stared at the tiny white thing, holding up the massive felled beast. They resumed setting up camp, as the magnificently large Muscle master looked down at Beauty. "Hey, there's no hard feelings about making you fight, right miss Beauty?"

"Hmm? Oh, no, no problems at all." Beauty commented, holding firewood in her hands.

"Why would she have problems?" Poppa spoke proudly, slapping Beauty's back, making her drop the firewood. "She's been a great support to us, and Beauty and I, we make a pretty good duo!"

"Oh really?" Beauty looked at him.

Poppa suddenly pulled out a top hat and monocle, as he put on a beak over his lips. "Quite rly."

"Maybe in the morning, I'd like to see how you've improved, miss Beauty." Milder challenged, as he started ripping a treant from the ground, and ripped it into two. Seeing the pink-haired girl gawk at his current action, he shrugged. "I saw him heading towards you, so I had to do something about it."

--

In a fishing boat, underneath the quiet solace of the night sky, Bo-bobo, Jelly, Hatenkou, Gasser, and Mitch whipped out fishing poles and big hats with fishing hooks strewn across them.

"THE HOOKS ARE GOING THROUGH MY HAT!" Jelly wailed in pain.

"Hey!" Hatenkou got angry. "You're scaring the fish!" He proceeded to kick the blue Jiggler into the lake, a large splash covering the group.

"Smart..." The silver-haired boy commented.

A giant eel emerges into the air right where Jelly fell into. The four of them thought that Jelly was a tasty morsel for the beast, but much to their surprise, they see an A-OK Jelly riding it. He traded in his fishing hat for a cowboy hat, suddenly branding the sea beast with a Nu-kanji mark.

"Hi-ho Eel-ver! Away!" Jelly rip-roared as he went under again.

"JELLY!" Gasser called out into the water. "Come back, Jelly!"

The femme-ish Soul Devourer just scoffed to the side. "Don't worry about that buffoon. He'll be back when he's good and ready." Mitch felt something prod his shoulders, and when he turned around, Bo-bobo cut off most of his luxurious top-covering blond hair. "WAAAH! What did you do that for?"

"If you want to be more manly, you gotta keep your hair short, and the hair must rise _up_!" Bo-bobo barked as he pulled out a massive board, showing two head shots, one with long hair going down, and one with long hair being bunched into an afro. "HAIR ON THE TOP IS **MANLY**!" He then became a dog, and started to rip up the board into many pieces.

"STOP! PLEASE!" The diagrams pleaded, but, alas, they were Bo-bobo's latest zany victims.

The eel suddenly flew up onto land, dying on the edge of the grass.

"EEL-VER! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" The blue Jiggler cried, pulling out his signature Nu-kanji hankerchief, failing to control his river of tears.

Gasser patted the crying blue's shoulder. "There, there, Jelly. At the least, we have dinner." That seemed to make him bawl even louder.

"Gasser, you're horrible at dealing with the emotions of others." Bo-bobo plainly stated, making the silver-haired boy slump down as well. He pulled out a giant lollipop, and clobbered a giant fishman out of nowhere. "AND THE PLOT GETS FISHY!"

"WHA?"

--

"ITTADAKIMASU!"

Everyone cheered, as they heartily ate some prepared plants, fish, and large chunks of eel mount that Jelly refused to even touch. To this moment, he still sobs as his friends and companions are eating his beloved eel.

"You... you guys are jerks..." He bellowed, gobbling down some fish.

"Hey, we were hungry." Everyone else seemed to say. All but Jelly were wide-eyed. "Hey, we did it again. And again."

"SHUT UP, I CAN'T CRY AND EAT IF YOU GUYS KEEP BICKERING!" Jelly bursted, as he devoured another fish whole. He stood up. "To heck with you guys, I'm going to bed." He walks over to where a fully-dolled up bed was, and he just slides into it.

"Where did that come from?" Beauty wondered, as she saw more treants edge ever so closer to them. "Minna, have you noticed how these things are starting to get closer?"

Serious, Bo-bobo stood up, and now faced the large group of mobile trees. "Okay, let's see if we can keep this from getting too out of hand... Thankfully, I'm very linguistic in Treant-talia."

"BO-BOBO CAN SPEAK TO TREES?" Beauty was in her usual dumb-founded state.

"Yeah, he actually did that in summer camp, if I can recall..." Poppa Rocks quipped, as a large flashback cloud overtook the scene, showing the both of them as teens in T-shirts and shorts by a campfire.

_"You know, I bet you $300 that I can talk to the trees!" Bo-bobo said._

_"No one can talk to trees!" Poppa gloated, as he suddenly pulled out his schoolbag filled to the brim with money. "You're on!"_

_The young master of the Nose Hair soon stood still, and started jigging in place, as suddenly, a tree sprout popped out of his afro, and as it started shaking in the beat of the human's jig, the surrounding trees around them started jigging as well, knocking Poppa's jaw to the ground._

"Unfortunately, that was the easiest $300 I ever lost..." The candy groaned, as his eyes looked to the Bonafide Bo-bobo. "But, can he still pull it off after all these years?"

"This I gotta see!" Gasser, Jelly, Hatenkou, and the two brothers seemed to sit down, all with theatre-style concessions in their hands.

Dengakuman looked hungrily at the others' snacks. "Hey, where's mine?"

"Screw off, asshole!" Hatenkou grabbed the little sucker, tossed him into the air, and, while suddenly dressing up like a lady volleyball player, spiked him hard into the ground, knocking him unconscious.

"Guys, please!" Bo-bobo commanded in an agitated tone. Everyone kept their mouth shut, even the two chipmunks who were just watching on top of a knocked out Dengakuman. He breathed deeply, and faced the treants. He shifted his hips slowly, and then struck a pose. 'Lovely night, isn't it?' the translation read. Beauty lapsed.

'It certainly is!' The lead tree shook its roots and branches.

'Thank you for not devouring us behind our backs.' Bo-bobo thrust his hips to the right, following with an affirming nod.

'Thank you for the kind howdy.' The tree moved a circle with its closed branches.

'Whatcha up to this evening?' Bo-bobo stomped his toes, like a flamenco.

'We're going clubbin tonight! Gonna see if we can score with some hot saplings!' The tree gestured its trunk forward, like a thrust, following with shaking its crown of branches and foliage.

'That is certainly perverse.' Bo-bobo popped an eyebrow, but kept his calmness as he backflipped. He pointed. 'Leave the young lady saplings alone, okay?' Beauty gawked.

'I am a woman, kind fellow.' The now-discovered lady tree made a quick heart with its branch hands. 'Although, I was wondering... are you available, you stud?' Its tree eyes flashed themselves innocently at him.

Everyone's eyes seemed to pop out in due time. "THAT'S WRONG, YOU PERVERT!" Bo-bobo bellowed as he launched a flying roundhouse kick at the lead tree, cleaving her in two clean chunks of wood.

"ALRIGHT!" Jelly sprung up from nowhere. "We finally get to wail on Mother Nature's sick, SICK children!"

The nine of them were now standing against a literally correct forest of new enemies. Their roots were starting to come above ground, and were charging fiercely at them. They all braced their battle stances, and lept at the monstrous trees.

--

"This is gonna take us a bit!" Hatenkou called out, as he grabbed his essential key, and aimed towards a couple autumn-colored beasts. "Fist of the Heart Lock! HEART..." He thrust his key into both of them, and paralyzed them as they lost all color. "...LOCK!" He brushed his hands, as his eyes suddenly caught his godfather charging right at him. "GOD-DADDY! USE ME!"

"Okay!" Poppa jumped on top of his godson's head, and used him as a faulty diving board, a diving cap covering his head. "Fist of the Poppa Arts!" He dove into the ground, and was eating dirt. When it appeared he wasn't moving, four trees and Hatenkou looked closer, only to see a mad gleam come over his eyes. "POPPA SURPRISE PINCUSHION!" His spikes grew out to not only impale the tree beasts, but also Hatenkou as well.

"OW! GOD-DADDY, THAT'S SO MEAN!"

"Take your beating like a man!"

"AUGH!" Beauty got smacked around by a few of the trees, as they were using her as a makeshift volleyball, as they even had a net set up. "THEY'RE GONNA SPIKE ME!"

"Not so fast!" Gasser cried out, as he channeled some vapor into his hands. "Onara Fist! METHANE BEAM!" His attack cleaved through the volleyballin' treants, as he caught Beauty in his arms. "You alright?"

"I am, thank you." She blushed, but then eyed at a half-alive beast still lunging its wooden branch at her savior. She got off him, and felt her battle aura channel through her being. "Varied Support Fist! METHANE HEART!" A small gas-comprised heart incinerated the decaying tree.

"OH NO! GREENHOUSE GASES, OUR ARCH-NEMESII!" The tree's final words were that.

"I guess I owe you now, Beauty." Gasser rubbed the back of his head, and caught her cute smile. They were both grabbed by another tree that was suddenly placed with a target marker.

The elder of the two brothers smiled as his wavy blond hair was starting to glow. "Fist of the Hungry Soul! COMBUSTING SPONTANEITY!" Seeing the disturbed tree spontaneously combust and become reduced to ashes, Mitch walked up to the other two. "Don't get all smiley until the battle's done."

A giant pine tree was hurled at the three, and were beaten down, as Dengakuman roared and rapid-punched the tree like nothing else. The little guy was now getting his shine as he ripped and shredded that poor defenseless tree into nothing but toothpicks, a couple of baseball bats, a pine table, and even turning the needles into a pine-scented hat.

"Wait... you mean I wasn't actually beating up a treant?" Dengakuman asked, with his pine needle hat tilting to the side. And I will respond with, 'no you did not', because pine trees cannot be treants. "Wow... our narrator's a tree racist..."

Ignoring the little guy, we turn to the Muscle Master Milder, who promptly grabbed Dengakuman and started swinging him around like a blunt weapon. Cleaving trees in twos and fours using only the stubby weight of our now splintered up little white friend, he started powering himself up. "Fist of the Muscle Initiate!" He unleashed the aura around himself, clearing out ten meters worth of trees, treants, and allies. "MUSCLE SWARMER!"

"MILDER, I CALL FRIENDLY FIRE!" Mitch cried out.

"Sorry!" The younger called out to the older, before feeling a Jel-tastic bounce against his person and into the air. "Watch it, Jell-o boy!"

"Bite me!"The purple aura of Jelly Jiggler shined all over him, as his arms received the most of the aura. "Super Shaky Shake Fist!" His hands turned into sharp scissors. "JEL WHACKERS!" He flew up to this one treant, and he violently clipped the crown of its leaves off, leaving it with only one leaf. "So, darlin, tell me, how's it look?" He inquired as he took on a southern accent in his hairdresser outfit.

"I'M BLEEDING!" The tree screamed. "I'M OOZING SAP!" It collapsed to the ground, fossilizing everything that the sap touched, including... Dengakuman.

A sudden camera pan changes to a museum, where Bo-bobo, dressed in a female's tour guide outfit, showed random people, birds, and gator ko-gals a fossilized Dengakuman.

"And this fantastic specimen was so well-preserved in this sample of amber, that you can plainly see its facial features PERFECTLY the day it was coated and preserved in this sampling of sap." Bo-bobo calmly described, with rabbles of interest following up.

Dengakuman broke free of the fossil, squealing in delight. "I CAN BREATHE!" Before receiving a straight right hook to the stomach from tour guide Bo-bobo.

"Get back in there!"

"OW!" Jelly screamed, seeing Milder's teeth sunk into the Jiggler's shoulder. "I didn't literally MEAN 'Bite me'!"

"Bo-bobo! Finish them off!" Beauty screamed.

Pan the camera back to the fight, with Bo-bobo soloing the final wave of twelve trees. His golden aura was now overwhelming the entire area. "FOUL TREES, YOU WILL SOON FACE THE WRATH OF BO-BRAND JUSTICE!"

"Cheese it up, why don'tcha?" Poppa Rocks barked angrily at him.

His roar broke the sound barrier, knocking his friends back a bit. A giant chainsaw appeared in his hands, as he lunged himself at the massive beasts. His body was being coated in an almost divine white aura. From the back of his aura, large etheral wings spread themselves out, making everyone gawk in amazement. He tossed the chainsaw in his hands aside, knocking down a city 300 kilometers away.

"What was that for, Bo-bobo?" Beauty raged.

A giant spear popped out of his back, as we now zoom into inside Bo-bobo's head to reveal the cockpit, where a young pilot was running Bo-bobo. "The weapon has been brought to you, soldier! Do not let us down!" The commander radioed in to the pilot.

"I will not let the power go to waste! Activating the Longi--"

"Wait! You can't say that exact name, otherwise we'll be _sued_!" The commander panicked.

"Right. Activating the Bo-bobonginus Spear!"

Bo-bobo's power systems and readings were going through the roof! His synchro levels were reading perfect! Angels were wetting themselves in mortal fear, and the treants were starting to run and shuffle away in terror, their desire to fight was now outweighed immensely by their sheer desire to get the hell away from there!

"Fist of the Nose Hair! BO-01 BO-BOBONGINUS SPEAR!"

One swipe of the celestial weapon, and the entire forest was eradicated. All that was left were tree ashes, desolation, and an unharmed Jelly Jiggler that was sleeping in his bed. He yawned, and when he took a good look, his eyes bugged out to the point where he could slap people with it.

"THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I SLEEP?" Jelly panicked.

"You were fighting beside us not even five minutes ago!" The humans of the group yelled.

"Well guys," Bo-bobo calmly stated. "Looks like we can't camp here now." He sighed, and then started walking ahead. "C'mon, let's go..."

"BO-BOBO!" Everyone yelled, as they started chasing him into the upping sunrise.

--

Will Bo-bobo and friends encounter more fiends?

Will everyone get wrinkles and lose their hair at the end of this journey?

Softon... will he ever be found?

And will the forces of evil send something better than a forest to fight off Bo's gang?

"You weren't supposed to give that away!" Marmalada yelled. "Oh well, tune in next time."


	10. ReCap Edition!

Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo: Video Crisis! 

Disclaimer: I don't own this series, any series that makes any cameo appearances, or the people who have made Bo-bobo. I do, however, own this fic.

Check from the previous chapters on how I named each character, so I won't have to do it again on the upcoming chapters.

--

"Hello!"

"Greetings!"

"Salutations!"

"And a hey-howdy to you all!"

Baseball Diamond Player, Basketball Court Man, Staticor, and Moleton Le Flaga, no relation, all wearing suits, appeared in a yellow studio room, as an audience parallel to them applauded.

"Welcome to the first **Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo Video Crisis re-cap show**!"

"Hey, wait a minute, fellows." Moleton looked up. "Why _ARE_ we doing a recap chapter?"

Baseball Diamond Player shrugged his shoulders. "It might just be that the author is just tapped out of creative juices to come up with another chapter right now."

"Yet, he had enough to come up with this clip-fic--" before Staticor could finish his sentence, a bucket of water doused the electric being, zapping him like crazy, and making him fall down. "Damn! That stings!"

"YOU died already..." The little mole said outloud. "And yet you're still amongst us!"

"YOU died too!" the electric being pointed to the mole. "And you got mugged to boot!"

"I got WHAT?" The mole reached into his wallet, to find his eighty dollars missing. "BLAST!"

"Enough of you guys!" The diamond head-shaped baseball player said, clubbing both of their heads with his ice-elemental baseball bat. "Now, in this studio here, we'll get to show you all what Bo-bobo and everyone else are up to while the author scrambles away, trying to get back on track with keeping them adventuring!"

The rectangular head-shaped Basketball Court Man nodded. "Don't worry! Here, all the OCs that had the privilege of getting molly-wopped by Bo-bobo and crew, will be over here as well!"

"Molly-wopped?"

Milder and Mitch, walking in with black tuxedos, and having lots of trees, Sidney, Larry, and a kraken follow behind them wearing fashionable top hats. "So technically we count here too?"

"I believe so!" Staticor cheered.

Suddenly, there was a big rumbling, as the studio encased all the people, kraken, and trees, and was inexplicably attached to a massive missile!(?)

"I can't believe those guys fell for it!" Poppa Rocks and Jelly Jiggler giggled dumbass-ingly. "WE'RE NOT DUMBASSES!"

"LAUNCHING MISSILE IN 10... 9... 8... OH I CAN'T WAIT!" The program spzted with glee, as it launched the trapped OCs into space, making sweet romance with the butchy stratosphere.

"I'm gonna pity those guys..." Bo-bobo said lowly, as if mourning the loss of someone. "And may peace come to the soul of Poppa's body double, who was sliced up horribly."

"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?" Beauty squeaked in anger.

--

Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo: Video Crisis Re-Cap Show! 1?

--

"Greetings, minna! And welcome to the **Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo: Video Crisis Re-Cap Show**!" Bo-bobo announced, as he wore a white tux. "In this re-cap edition, we will go through certain chapters, talk about references used from other animes and video games, have crazy special guests, and what will be considered the favorite part of the show..." He pulled out a picture of something that was clearly inaudible. "We will dress up our young friends in silky white wedding dresses! Why, you ask?"

"YES, WHY?" Gasser and Hatenkou harped loudly. Behind them, Beauty, Dengakuman, and Poppa Rocks started sparkling with anticipation.

"Because we're NUTS like that!" A squirrel appeared behind him, before Bo-bobo unleashed a devastating spin kick to his tummy, making him collapse. "Darn it Steve, cut that out!"

"Sorry..." The squirrel breathed desperately.

The afroed man cleared his throat, before he continued. "Now, a lot of people are probably gonna ask where half of the stuff used in our chapters came from. Well, today-night, depending on whether you're reading this during the day or night--"

"What if they're reading it during sunset or sunrise?" Dengakuman asked understandably.

"Now THAT'S just silly!" Poppa blurted. "Only a nerd would read it at exactly those periods!" Only to the candy's ears, did he hear someone crying in the distance.

"Here will be the portion where we bring up where the author got his ideas." Bo-bobo pulled out a laptop, trying to find the fic himself. "Now where is it? Jelly man, why do you still use _Internet Explorer_? Where's your Mozilla Firefox?"

"FIE ON FIREFOX!" The candy man screamed in rage. "THEY'RE WORKING WITH THE NE-KANJI! THEY MUST DIE!" He made his right arm into a sharp jelly axe. "LET ME AT 'EM!" Before he could continue, Hatenkou pulled out a bottle, and knocked Jelly out with the stank of it.

"WHOA!" Gasser's eyes bugged out. "What'd you use?"

"Day old corn muffin juice!" Hatenkou said, before he took a swig of the odd beverage, and collapsed. "Good... stuff..."

"ANYWHO!" Bo-bobo called out, before looking oh-so-stylish in his white tux. "Nothing's so bad in the first chap, except with the obvious Yu-Gi-Oh! reference. And fighting game announcer."

"Why, I'm right here!" The announcer announced. "I also work at the bakery."

"Now, the second chap!" Poppa grabbed the mike from Bo-bobo, following it up with a lunging roundhouse kick to his face. And by his, I mean... Jelly.

"OW! POOPIE-HEAD!"

"Now, let's point things out." He pulled out some glasses, and breathed into them, before putting them on. "Hey, where'd everybody go?" He slapped his own head, when he forget to clean his glasses. "Okay, NOW we're good. Oh boy, we just LOVE making fun of the angst-filled teenage drama and mech series, Neon Genesis Evangelion."

Jelly gasped. "You said the full name! We're all dead now!"

"When Jelly was nominated to stop the Blue Knees, it's almost like picking adolescents with major WACK-O problems, and we're supposed to trust them with our planet! GET some psychiatric help!"

"Oh, so you don't trust me?" The Jiggler was outraged.

"Not for saving us all, no." He pushed his glasses up further. "Then again, the Blue Knees are just an obvious rip of the sleeper alien cult the Black Arms from a shadowy hedgehog's game."

"Well, I assume people are more open towards angst-filled teens, than ugly black aliens." Bo-bobo laughed, before he heard a giant footstep. He looked up. "Hey! Here's one of our special guests!" He threw his arms out, as an overly massive mecha appeared. "It's the EVA-01! Welcome to the show, EVA unit 01!"

"Oh please, call me Jack." The EVA said giddily. "I brought muffins!" Its massive hand brought down a significantly tiny tray of muffins. "I made them myself while the humans weren't touching me."

The gang walked closer, and each took one. The humans of the group all had hearts in their eyes, and even Jelly and Poppa were enthralled by the baked goodness. Only Dengakuman soured at the taste. He tossed it at the foot of the EVA, before realizing his error. He got stepped on brutally.

"Okay, just take a seat, Mr. 01, and we'll get right back to you." Beauty called from the ground.

"Okay!" A giant lounging chair popped out from behind the weapon, and it sat comfortably, while crushing a couple of audience stands.

"Nothing exciting really happened in the third chap, except for the fact that," the orange candy glared at his pink-haired ally. "You can finally fight, you lazy girl! Now let's get it on!" He ripped off his suit, and once more, re-equipped his mock Beauty look. "This look adds 140 defense to my stats! Now I'll win!"

While Poppa charged inexplicably at the surprised Beauty, Jelly sooned donned his white suit, complete with monnacle. "In chapter three, before I was gutted with a harpoon in my whale form, the idiot Hatenkou bellowed out 'Harpoon Cannon, fire!', which belonged to Skies of Arcadia, in where if you had your Harpoon Cannon ready, you would be able to fire it."

"You mean like this?" Bo-bobo popped open his afro, which unleashed a massive spear from his head to Jelly's stomach. "You're too tense, man. Lighten up!"

His eyes wide, the blue man turned around. "Um, yeah, really, I'd love to mellow out a bit, but I have a FREAKIN WEAPON LODGED IN ME RIGHT NOW!"

"Who does your piercing?"

"You just launched it at me, you sick man!" Jelly barked again, before clearing his throat, and dislogding the weapon from him. "And Mitch, before he started looking like a man, was an obvious parody of a cross-dressing bounty hunter in a hard-rockin' futuristic fighting game series."

"WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT MELLOWING OUT?" Bo-bobo roared as he grabbed the Jelly by his back, propped him on his shoulders, and lept high in the air. "Fist of the Nose Hair!"

"C'mon man, cut it out!" Jelly pleaded.

They came back down hard and to the ground, causing the concrete to crack heavily. This even stunned the EVA that was sitting on its chair. "BO-nafied Brawler Move: BO-TEMKIN BUSTER!" He tossed the jiggling man off his shoulders, the blue man turning into liquid.

"Hey!" A hyper woman from out of nowhere dashed into the studio. "Don't forget that the intro to chap three was a direct violation of Koshi Rikdo-sama's Excel Saga!"

"Hey! You're our second guest from that ACROSS place, Excel Excel!" Hatenkou's eyes grew to even larger hearts. "You're pretty!"

"I challenge you to a randomness contest!" Bo-bobo declared to Excel.

"You're on!" She charged, as Excel and Bo-bobo ran insanely fast to another place, currently off camera from the audience, cast, and EVA.

"Oh..." Hatenkou cried.

"So..." Beauty came out in a white dress, holding some sheets in her hands. "For the fourth chapter and fifth, our featured opponent was an angry but slightly adorable mole named Moleton Le Flaga, no relation." She sighed. "Though who he claims he isn't related to, he never said. It WAS though, an apparent ripoff of the name Mwu Le Flaga, or however you say that guy's name, from Gundam Seed."

"Not to mention the obvious Pokemon rip with me and Bo-bobo!" Poppa said.

"Yes, I was just getting to... ... STOP LOOKING LIKE ME!"

"Oh fine, you big meanie!" Poppa pouted, and then bawled. In his despair, he knocked their next guest, the Mwu Le Flaga fellow, straight up, and then followed up with a 9-hit air combo, hurtling the human into space. He scoffed at the ground, as he landed softly. "Asshole... take that."

"YOU JUST KNOCKED OUR NEXT GUEST AWAY!" Beauty screamed.

"And pretty high up too, if I may add." Said the EVA-01. "I think I can see him and that mole OC getting along JUST fine."

"Yes yes, let's move on... TO ME!" Hatenkou smiled, as he launched his keys, and knocked out Beauty and Poppa Rocks in the back of the head. "On the sixth chapter of Bo-bobo, my homies gave to me..." He pulled out a screenshot of Jelly moving the ouija board. "We get the first couple lines from the .hack/SIGN chorus, 'Obsession'! As well as my god-daddy singing the 2nd Japanese opening of the Bo-bobo TV series, 'Baka Survivor'!"

"Of course!" Poppa woke up from his unconscious state! "Karaoke!"

"Not now!" Gasser barked.

"I would like some karaoke right now..." The EVA butted in.

"Please, not now."

"HEY! YOU CAN'T DENY AN EVA! HE'LL KILL US ALL!" Jelly panicked once more.

"Anyway..." Dengakuman said. "In chappie seven-weven, I think the Evangelion reference was obvious there." The white thing, still covered in a massive head-bandage, turned to the monstrous mech. "EVA-01, your comments?"

"Well... I don't think I would approve of that myself, really IMO. But since the disclaimers were already put there, it's a good go ahead sign." The EVA gave a thumbs-up.

"That's wonderful." The little guy chirped. "And the death quote from Poppa's body double, was taken from a popular 'naughty' game in Japan, called 'Tsukihime', after you killed this one woman for the first time."

"Whadaya mean, naughty?" Beauty asked. He whispered into her ear, and she was sickened. "EW! That's a pervert's game!" She calmed a bit. "But since they followed it up with a non-perverted fighting game, it's alright."

"I like the naughties." Poppa said. "And any other time you heard the line of 'Equivalent Exchange', think of Full Metal Alchemist."

"Yeah. I clubbed that knight good." Jelly chuckled. "He was all like--" He pulled out a knight helmet, mocking his voice. "Have at you!--" He took it off. "I was like, HELL no--" He put on the helmet again. "And then, he was like, I will stab you, fool!--" He took it off now, and was sad. "And then the next thing that happened, he was gone, with ninety of my dollars, and I was in the back alley with a sword _lodged_ into my right calf."

A screenshot showed Jelly in that exact situation. "DAMMIT JELLY!" Beauty freaked out.

"And, to top it all off!" The EVA took his turn, donning an amazingly beautiful blue tuxedo, and stepping on the others. "In the ninth chronicle, we get to see a parody of Mario Party minigames in the beginning, and two counts of the 'O Rly' owl trend."

"Hee hee! I lol'd!" Poppa peeped.

"And, once more... the Evangelion reference of the Longinus Spear." EVA-01 said. "Cleverly executed, but I would still win."

"Duh, you're an EVA!" Hatenkou said bluntly.

"And that wraps up the boring reference portion of the Recap Special!" Beauty and Gasser said. "Now let's have some fun!"

--

We now go live to a sports arena, where we finally see for the first time, our good pal Softon, in his full blue jeans and yellow sports jacket glory. He appears to be holding a microphone, as Bo-bobo and Excel appear to be facing off in some sort of contest.

"Greetings, this is Softon." Softon said. "And as the 1st entertainment portion of the Recap special, we have with us, the randomness contest between ACROSS's Excel and our very own Bo-bobo." He turned around to see Excel as a little girl picking up a little doggy that has Bo-bobo's face and afro on it, like a little girl with her puppy. A sweat drop met the odd sight. "Uh... right..."

"Wow... becoming random things is fun!" Excel said, as she suddenly made herself into a mop, before being grabbed by Bo-bobo to clean up the arena, and then broken in two. "OW!"

"You have to learn how to properly administer the powers!" Bo-bobo dictated. "That is the first law."

"Cool! NOW THAT I KNOW THAT LAW, I, EXCEL, HUMBLE SERVANT TO HIS LORD IL PALAZZO, WILL MAKE USE OF THIS RULE TO PROPERLY WHIP THE MASSES INTO PROPER SHAPE FOR THE EVENTUAL COMING OF ACROSS!" Excel rambled really fast.

"Then prove to me that you remembered that law in brutal combat!"

"Challenged accept, blond-o!"

And with that, the quirky servant and the Bo-nafied hero started brawling to the death! They donned wrestler clothes, and started grabbing each other's hands, throwing one or the other on the ground, firing machine gun punches, lightning-fast kicks, lightning element kicks, the whole she-bang-a-bang! He even tried to wrap her body around his nose hairs, but she freaked out and grabbed a sword out of nowhere, and sliced the slithering hairs off, making Bo-bobo reel back in pain. But then he sucker-punched her.

"Well minna, this will take a while." Softon said. "Back to you guys."

--

"Thanks, Softie!" Poppa Rocks said, as he turned to see Jelly, Hatenkou, Dengakuman, and the EVA-01 playing Twister. Poppa ran back to the mat. "Did it start yet?"

"Not yet..." Jelly dreaded, wondering if the giant mech wanted to play too...

"Don't worry guys!" The EVA Jack said. "I'll be the spinner!"

The blue man sighed out of relief. "Oh thank you, sweet merciful God."

Dengakuman collapsed, as his body suddenly started hovering in mid-air, looking at the crew with up 180-degree tilted head, and glowing eyes. "_You are quite welcome, my son_." The deep heavenly voice boomed out of the white body, before he reverted back to normal. "AAAAAHH! My head's upside down! Get me to a hospital! AND WHY AM I HOVERING?"

"O... kay...?" Jelly wondered what just happened.

"Twister's boring!" Hatenkou said, eying a dancing leaf in the wind. "Now THAT'S a twister!"

As lightly as it came, the dancing wind immediately became a massive typhoon, grabbing all the non-EVA sized people in the vicinity. "SAVE US!"

"You got it!" Jack said, as the fists of the EVA-01 punched the heck out of the typhoon, spitting out the captured people.

It soon sprouted eyes, and a mouth, and a whiny cry. "OW! Why did you hit me?"

"Because you sucked us up like a Dirt Devil!" Hatenkou called out. "What are we, vacuum fodder?"

"I just want to have fun." The tornado said sadly, before it started whirling away. It turns around to see the giant mecha... of Poppa Rocks. "OH MY! You look SOOOOO DELICIOUS!"

"What the?" Said EVA-01, as he saw the giant mech beside him. "How did you do that so fast?"

"It's easy, really. Just don't think about it!" Poppa said, commanding from the inside of the mech. "It's battle time!"

And with that, a simple battle transition took place. The EVA and Poppa's mech, the Uncle Starburst, suddenly had an energy meter, and a health bar. On the opposite side, the tornado had its own energy bar and health meter.

"Wow! It's like an action-fighting game with RPG elements!" Jelly said, as he unintentionally got crushed by the Uncle Starburst. "AUG!"

"Fine! Let's begin the fight!" The whiny tornado, otherwise known as Walter, started whirling fast at the EVA and Poppa, its winds suddenly becoming sharp as glass.

"Bah, this damage is nothing." The EVA spoke.

"OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW" Poppa writhed as the cold air sharpened itself on the candy's mech, the full synchro achieved only made him feel the pain too. "To heck with this thing!" With his health flashing at a dangerously low level, he charged up a massive amount of energy. "Fist of the Poppa Arts!"

His mecha suddenly exploded, sending the EVA flying, the gang hurtling towards a building, and sending massive shrapnel at the tornado, slowing down its spinning, until a massive orb was revealed from the body of the wind cone. The orange candy was now glowing in a crimson aura.

"UNCLE STARBURST'S DEADLY CHANT!" As he charged at supersonic speeds towards the tornado known as Walter, he spouted random gibberish. "**_WHATTAMYASENSESGONNADOWHENIASSEEYOUDIE_**!" He cracked the orb of Walter into six shards, and heard the wind's dying breath, as it dissipated.

"YOU DID IT, GOD DADDY!" Hatenkou charged, hugging his godfather happily. "I'm still proud of you, even if you smell like dead wind!"

A light bulb suddenly appeared over Dengakuman's head. "I'll show you what Dead wind REALLY IS!" From the white little ball on the top of his head, he pulled out a katana that was three times his own size. "Dengaku Style! DEADWIND!" He charged at the two hugging, and charged through them with his sword. "EAT THAT!"

Seeing the candy, blond guy, and white thing battling each other in a heated two-on-one melee, Jelly was looking around. "Huh? Where's Beauty and Gasser?"

--

A rooftop on a tenth-story building. Here we see Beauty and Gasser looking down from the top of the building, to the streets below, seeing people walking around, the massive EVA collapsed on the ground, and a scuffle cloud in the far distance. The two sighed, finally having some time to themselves, as the younger shuffled her body closer to Gasser. She hugged him tightly, the older smiling as he leaned into her hug.

"aaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAUGH I WASN'T EVEN INVOLVED!" Their moment of solace was ruined by a hurtling Jelly with boo-boos and sword cuts all over his jiggly frame, dropping down onto them. Looking at the two of them, gawking in bright pink faces, he giggled to himself, becoming a schoolgirl. "I hope I didn't interrupt anything, did I?"

Poor, poor Jelly...

--

An hour passed by, as Poppa, Jelly, Beauty, Gasser, Dengakuman, and Hatenkou made their way to the arena, waving to their good pal Softon. Before long, they end up seeing Bo-bobo walking out of the arena.

"I don't see why **I** had to buy you guys dinner..." Jelly whimpered, as his wallet was empty. Everyone except him were full.

"Hey, Bo-bobo..." Softon asked. "Where's that Excel woman?"

"Oh, she had to go." He shrugged. "As I usually say, business over pleasure." Ignoring the masses of glares, he continues on. "So we agreed to finish our match in another time."

"Does that mean this is the end of the Recap special?" Everyone asked, a tinge of disappointment coming over their features.

"Not yet..." Bo-bobo said evilly, as he pulled out a big cardboard box filled with wedding dresses.

"Oh my god, he's serious!" Gasser, panicked like a little girl, started running, before Bo-bobo's nose hairs whipped him back to the group.

"WE'RE GONNA LOOK PRETTY, OR DIE TRYING!"

--

Okay, gang... I can imagine that this wasn't as funny as the other chapters... so let's just say that this NEVER happened (unless you want it to), and I'll just throw in the beginning for the next chap...

Okay, we're in agreement.

--

Bo-bobo, Poppa Rocks, Jelly Jiggler, Beauty, Gasser, Hatenkou, Dengakuman, Milder, and Mitch are still on the path to the villains' hideout, though it'll still take them their sweet time to get there.

Gasser sighed. "That dress made me realize how fat I really was..." He smiled a little bit when Beauty put a hand on his shoulder.

"If anyone EVER suggestswe becomeastronauts,we will brutally beat you down." Milder and Mitch both said coldly, trying to shake off their visit to the stratosphere.

"Hey guys! Need an extra hand?" The gang looked to the familiar strawberry soft-served swirl head that is their ally Softon. He walked slowly towards the gang, but then noticed Bo-bobo and Poppa Rocks hopping happily towards him. The happy hopping turned into a frantic charge as they latched themselves on Softon, and trying to beat him down. "WHAT THE? GET OFF ME! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU GUYS? HEY!"

Beauty smiled. "Looks like the ol' gang is back together!"

--

Will the author come up with something good next time?

Will he do another recap special?

And will the other OCs ever come back down from the stratosphere.

The butchy red lips of the stratosphere loomed over and said, "Tune in, next time!"


	11. Subtracting 10

Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo: Video Crisis! 

Disclaimer: I don't own this series, any series that makes any cameo appearances, or the people who have made Bo-bobo. I do, however, own this fic.

Check from the previous chapters on how I named each character, so I won't have to do it again on the upcoming chapters.

--

"Hey! I can see a town!"

"And where there's a town, there's probably a bed!"

"And where there's a bed, it means that I'LL CALL THE PILLOW!"

"THERE'S MORE THAN ONE BED, POPPA!"

"Then I get the nice one!"

"And with people in that town, we can get FUNKIFIED!"

"BO-BOBO!"

"Ah... I missed the beckoning insanity of my friends..."

Bo-bobo, Beauty, Gasser, Poppa Rocks, Jelly Jiggler, Hatenkou, Dengakuman, Softon, Milder and Mitch were now bolting out of the never-ending forest! They're currently running down a carefully laid-out dirt path, surrounded by beautiful flowers. The orange candy was trying to get ahead of the pink-haired girl, but he tried a desperate move: he TACKLED her! Into the lovely garden of flowers.

"Aww..." Jelly quipped. "That girl certainly attracts candies to her!" A gawking Gasser looked down at Jelly, before the lychee-flavored individual shut up. "Well, I said what I wanted to say."

"C'mon." Softon said. "Get out of there, you two. We WILL leave you behind!"

And as everyone but Gasser kept moving on, the silver-haired boy waited for the two now smiling girl and candy couple to walk up to him. As they walked calmly down the trail, Beauty leaned her head to his right shoulder, making him blush easily. As he looked to his left shoulder, he saw Poppa... with his Beauty impersonation and eyes, looking at him dreamily. He sighed, and just continued walking.

--

Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo: Video Crisis!

Our Town-tastic call! We Won't Wreck it, we Promise!

--

"Ah... civilization, at last!" Bo-bobo cheered, as he popped open his afro, and an old-style bandstand appeared, now playing trumpets, tubas, and the occasional big drum. "This is truly a time to be in the right place! C'mon gang! Let's make the most of it!" He snapped his afro lid shut, crushing everyone in it, with sounds of breaking instruments.

"Ah, Bo-bobo, you truly **are** the king of kings." Jelly commented sarcastically.

"YOU KNOW I DON'T RECEIVE COMPLIMENTS WELL!" Bo-bobo cried, as he kneed Jelly in the gut.

The Jiggler struggled to stand, leaning on Softon. "Why me? Why always me?"

The soft-serve-headed man shrugged. "'Cause you're squishy?"

"Where'd God-Daddy go?" Hatenkou looked around, finally spying behind him, seeing Gasser being dragged by the arms by Beauty and Poppa. "What took you guys?"

"Well, since this is a new town to us," Poppa Rocks said, pulling out a wallet. "We thought to ourselves, why don't we go shopping?"

"Okay gang, that sounds like an AWESOME PLAN!" Bo-bobo flipped open his afro again, only the bandstand inside was still broken and deserted with fractured instruments.

Beauty stared, but kept her tone as calm as it usually is. "WHAT HAPPENED IN THERE?"

"Bad rehearsal." Bo-bobo lied, as he closed his afro again.

At that exact moment, as if on cue, the whole gang's stomachs growled in unity. Everyone blushed an embarrassed red, denoting that they should find someplace to eat. Thankfully, the ten of them were standing in front of the Happy Croc Restaurant. They nodded, and walked right on in.

"Welcome to the Happy Croc Restaurant, y'all!" A sweet and voluptuous voice came from... a crocodile waitress with a cute waitress dress on. Smiling at the unnerved Mitch, Gasser, Poppa Rocks, and Hatenkou quartet, she walked up to the counter. "A table for 10? Right this way, y'all."

"Anyone else notice the giant talking croc?" Bo-bobo openly stated. "Or is it just me?"

"She's not so bad." Milder said. "I think she looks quite lovely."

"You got a crush on Gator Gal?" The elder of the two brothers said in deep surprise.

"She's a _CROC_, bro. There _are_ significant differences."

"Yeah, but both'll kill you with their mighty jaws."

While the two brothers argued on, they reached a massive ten-seater booth with big table. Everyone slid to their place, and each grabbed a menu. They ordered quickly, and were now waiting for their meal.

"Ah, now this is real living, you know." Beauty said. "Friends going to lunch."

"Actually, Beauty, it's breakfast." Dengakuman corrected her.

"No, it's 11:30. That's basically lunch."

"No, no, no, no!" Dengakuman started to get angry. "Lunch has ALWAYS been designated at noon, no earlier! So it's breakfast!"

"Whoa whoa whoa whoa, calm down!" Softon said. "There's a reason why it's called Brunch, you two. It's inbetween breakfast and lunch, so people wouldn't have to get at each other's throats. So, let's all enjoy our _Brunch_. Okay?"

The two arguers nodded. "I'm sorry I got angry, Beauty." Dengakuman apologized.

"Oh yeah!" Milder said, as he reached into his pocket. "I forgot! We also came with you guys for another reason." He pulled out a picture, of our good pal, Denbo-chan, about to be eaten by a whale, in chapter 5. "Have you guys seen this lady?"

Hatenkou and Poppa Rocks froze in shock. Bo-bobo and Dengakuman, however, we're giddy, but for all the wrong reasons. "Hey! That's the great magical singer, Denbo-chan!" They said in unison. The great-afroed man kicked Dengakuman to the side. "I really want to get her autograph!"

"We're looking for this woman." Mitch said. "It was the last request from our deceased pal, Moleton Le Flaga. He wanted us to tell her he said 'Thank you' for something or another..."

"Uh, yeah... Denbo-chan sort of DESTROYED that guy, because he attacked us." Jelly said. The twobrothers stared blankly atthe lychee-flavored man, who was playing with his napkin."Something about how we were going to drive on top of his mountain... I don't remember anymore..." His jelly eyes spied the alligator waitress bringing in half of the gang's orders, with the other half carried carefully on her scaly tail. "KICK ASS!" Jelly was excited.

"Now, let us eat, minna!" Bo-bobo rallied, as the ten of them, even the normally calm Beauty, Gasser, and Softon, dove right into their meals, savoring the love and care of each dish before it wound up in their stomachs. Bo-bobo was the first to finish his, and he started convulsing. "Whoa..."

"What's wrong?" Beauty asked, with a little bit of food in her mouth.

"Don't chew with your mouth full!" The candy yelled, as he slapped the back of her head with his trademark leek.

All the while Softon and Gasser were trying to dislodge the choking girl, a small ghostly portal appeared in front of the afroed hero. He gazed slightly into it, before a spooky spirit popped out of it, freaking out the patrons and the others.

"_Bo-bobo..._" The spirit whispered aloud.

"... Father!" Bo-bobo cried out.

"WHAT THE?" Beauty was exasperated.

Softon could also only look oddly at the wisp. "That's pretty strange, even for what WE encounter."

"Father, how could you abandon me when I was a little kid?" The afroed man started to cry. "How could you just toss me out into the cold world like that?"

"_I had to, to protect you from them... but now, you are stronger, and you have even defeated the Big Four!_" The wisp now had a vein on his head. "_But you're **still** a grave disappointment! HAVE AT YOU!_"

"EAT THIS, OLD MAN!" Bo-bobo roared, before he unleashed a devastating side-winder punch, knocking the wisp and the ghost portal into oblivion. He smiled with great pride, and he whistled to the crocodilian waitress over to them. Ignoring the blank stares of the patron, and Hatenkou's sudden bawling, he said. "Ma'am, this dish was so divine, that I got to see the spirit of my dead father, and pound his ass back to where he came from! I'm gonna recommend this place!"

"Well, that's an awful nice compliment, sir!" She said, "but we don' really care much about publicity. I mean, if you want to tell othas about this place, go ahead, but too much publicity almost killed this restaurant once, and so we don' wanna repeat that little mistake."

"A shame, really." Milder nodded. "This is darn good food." Seeing Mitch make kissy noises to his buff self, he uppercutted the Soul Devourer hard, with Dengakuman laughing at him.

Suddenly, the front door burst off its hinges, as two men walked into the restaurant. One of them was a giant brown-clothed man whose back was hunched with massive fists, and the other wore bright-spangled clothing with rhinestones, and had a dagger tucked away.

"What do y'all want?" The waitress was now mad. "You can't just bust down our door like that!"

"Keep it down," the big guy said, with a deep whine. "And no collateral damage will be done."

"Just like my amigo said," the suave other pointed out. "Hand us over the one called Bo-bobo, and your poor restaurant won't go up in flames."

"You mean us?"

As the two men looked down, they saw three little miniature Bo-bobos, all looking so innocent with their tiny blond afros, and each wearing a red, green, and blue shirt. Beauty gawked in the distance.

"I am Bobobo-," the first one said.

"I am Bo Bo-," the second one said.

"And I am Bobo!" the third one finished.

"Together we combine to make:" the three of them started to glow, and then they merged together to make the big blue-shouldered afroed hero we all know and/or love. "Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo!"

"THAT WAS USELESS, BO-BOBO!"

"Ah," the big guy said. "As long as we do intro-ductions, let's do ours..."

"Sure, why not?" The suave guy said.

All the lights turned off, as two spotlights dawned on the two obvious Bald Empire Intarweb Corps members. The first light brightened on the big guy. "I am... P."

"Not much of a name," Softon muttered, with Hatenkou and Dengakuman nodding.

"And I," the debonair fellow had his turn. "am the suave and sophisticated Arn D. Stumpgrinder!"

"Okay, P I can understand." Jelly stood up from his seat. "But who calls themselves _**Stumpgrinder**_? WHY AM I SO INFURIATED?"

"Ah, you must be Jelly... my lady requests that we return you to her alive, if it's reasonably practical."

"Marmalada sent you two?" The blue Jiggler was astonished. "Well, after we whoop your _**STUMPGRINDIN**_ butts, tell that orange gel that I would rather die thanjoin her ranks!"

Bo-bobo's nose hairs suddenly wrapped around his lychee-flavored pal, tightening his grip. "Good call, Jelly G! Fist of the Nose Hair!" He flung Jelly at high speeds. "BO-BOBOTAPULT! FIRE!"

The semi-aqueous Jelly made contact with P, and knocked him out completely. "Ow..." Jelly rubbed his head. "I didn't know I could be a one-hit instant kill move..."

"P! My main man!" the suave guy grabbed the big guy's hand. "Where did he get you?"

(Movie Preview: Big Guys, Bigger Hearts)

"I missed this too..." Softon mused.

"Arn, dude..." P said, suddenly in a hospital bed, and wearing a hospital gown that couldn't cover all of his girth, but had some help with the sheets from the bed. "He gots me in the side. It hurts to breathe."

Arn D. Stumpgrinder put a finger to P's lips. "Don't speak anymore, man. Just get your rest, and just leave everything to your good pal Stumpgrinder."

"AGAIN with the _**Stumpgrinder**_!" Jelly raved.

He received a giant axe kick to the back of the head from Hatenkou and Softon. "SHUT. UP."

"What if yous no come back?" P questioned sadly.

"Don't worry, I will return man. Because you and I, we got this synergy, man." From his shades, a tear was sliding down. "I love ya, man."

"I loves you too, dood." P said, before closing his eyes, with a big smile on the big guy's face.

"That's so beautiful!" Beauty cried outloud.

(End Movie Preview: Big Guys, Bigger Hearts; coming in may 2006)

--

The fingers of the suave fellow tapped on his companion's forehead, as a great deal of energy was surrounding him, and then channeled to P. "Stump Grind Support: TELEPORT!" And in an instant, the big hulk that was P, soon vanished. "When my good pal P gets better, he'll let lady Marmalada know of your whereabouts, so what I'm gonna do, is keep you guys company for the next few hours or so--" he turned to see the gang walking out the door. "HEY! GET BACK HERE!"

"We'll take you on, Stumpgrinder!" Bo-bobo warned. "But we're not gonna decimate that poor alligator's restaurant to do so!"

"She's a CROC!" Milder bugged out.

"Yeah, and I bet she's a bad arms dealer too." Hatenkou added.

"She better not have been!" Dengakuman panicked, wielding a giant bazooka. "She told me this thing was used to pulverize bad guys!"

"How'd you _afford_ that thing?" Beauty was shocked.

"So be it, Bo-bobo and friend." Ignoring the mass stare of all but Bo-bobo and Gasser, he pulled off his shades, and pulled out his trusty dagger... phone? "Yeah! Sing it with me!"

Bo-bobo, Poppa, and Jelly in tutus, were tip-toeing around the Bald Empire man. "DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DING DAGGER-PHONE!"

He glared, as his dagger-phone was now glowing evilly. "Stump Grind Hand: FOOL CUT!" As quickly as he drew his blade, the dancing trio were now covered with blade cuts and slight drops of blood, but enough damage was dealt to also knock them down. "That attack works well on idiots..." His eyes soon stared at Beauty specifically. "Now that the buffoons are out of commission... time for the rest of you to--"

"OUT OF COMMISSION?" Bo-bobo rose up once more, in a business man's suit. "But if I don't sell three more things by Tuesday, I'll lose my thumbs!" He looked back, and was frightened with Poppa Rocks and Jelly Jiggler wielding butcher knives. "EEEEEEEEK!"

"WHY ARE YOU STILL STANDING?" Arn D. Stumpgrinder was well pissed. He then regained composure, and pushed his shades back up the bridge of his nose. "No matter! You can't take all of me!" His dagger-phone started ringing, and thus he answered it. "Hello? Of course I would like some backup, thank you much!" When he hung up, multiple copies of himself popped out of the receiver end. "That's my Stump Grind Hand: COPY-GANGER!" His voice echoed across all the copies, who were now surrounding the gang. "Which one is the real me?"

"Hey Beauty!" Mitch said. "Let's handle these copy bums!"

"Okay. Cover us then, Gasser." Beauty said.

"Got it!"

"Fist of the Hungry Soul! SOULFUL FLICKERS!" The Soul Devourer unleashed his white-hot flames at some of Arn's shades, but the attack just happened to phase through them to hit Bo-bobo. Seeing him squeal in pain, he raised his voice. "IF YOU'RE NOT FIGHTING, GET OUT OF THE WAY!"

"Varied Support Fist!" She pulled out her trusty fan. "BOOMERANG HARISEN!" As trusty as the name, she launched it, and it proceed to phase through all of the images, and then hit the real Arn D. Stumpgrinder. "GET HIM NOW!" Her fan non-stopping, it clubbed Dengakuman and Milder a few times. "Sorry!"

"I got him! GAS BEAM!" Gasser unleashed a smoky beam at real Arn, knocking the suave man down, but before he could follow-up another shot, three of his copies gut-punched the silver-haired boy down. "I thought those were only images..."

"They are," Stumpgrinder chuckled. "But, I didn't want to spoil it by saying that if I expended some of my energy, I can make any of my shades of Arn (that's what I call em) physical!" He felt his dagger-phone ring again, and he put it to his ear. "Hello--" After a flash, he crumpled down, and he clutched his ear.

"Ouch... That's gotta hurt." Was all Bo-bobo offered.

"Dummy..." Jelly insulted.

In an instant, Arn D. Stumpgrinder put the dagger-phone to his ear once more, with his ear covered in a blood-soaked bandage. "Sorry for the delay. ...Yes, I put the wrong end of the phone in my ear again... Yes, I know I should stop doing that..."

"I WANNA USE THE PHONE!" Poppa Rocks and Hatenkou, personified as little kids jumped on top of the suave guy, trying to pry the weapon from his hands. "WE WANNA CALL DADDY!"

"Now chillun', you know you don't have a daddy..." Bo-bobo in an apron said in a motherly tone. "You only have your uncle Milder to play with, so stop bugging cousin Arn and play with uncle Milder."

"I AM NOT YOUR UNCLE!" Milder said, before he got line-tackled by the normal sized godfather and godson.

"Hey, thanks for getting them off me!" Arn said, before seeing a massive lance of nose hair jabbing him in the arms. "OW!"

"Fist of the Nose Hair! HAIR LANCER!"

"Look, I'll call you back, I'm getting assaulted by Bo-bobo. ...YES, that's an actual person's name!" He hung up, and then charged quickly and stabbed Bo-bobo in the shin. "Like THAT, punk?"

"What are you stabbing, man?" Jelly asked. "Bo-bobo has been dead... for years."

"What?" Arn turned around, to see only the clothes of the Bonafide Bo. "Where'd he go?"

Suddenly, an afro-tipped petunia grazed the cheek ofthe suave fellow, and pierced Jelly inbetween the eyes. "OW! THE HELL!"

"The very Bo you are looking for, is right here."

Came the mysterious voice, as the gang looked up to the top of a roof, to see Bo-bobo, dressed in nothing but a towel and a turban. "I am the **Bo-light Knight**! Protector of the innocent! And you, Mr. Stumpgrinder, have done away with an innocent, so face the wrath of the **Bo-light Knight**!"

"PUT ON SOME PANTS AT LEAST!" Beauty cried.

"Indeed, I am tainted as well." Softon added with regret.

The 'Bo-light Knight' leapt into the air, and then braced his fighting stance, as he channelled his glowing gold energy. "Fist of the Bo-light Nose Hair Knight!" His nose hairs then turned into two massively long rapiers. They channeled their own golden energy, as they lashed out at the man, which he dodged with ease.

"Nice try, Bo-bobo! I'm not going down so easily!"

"GO BO-LIGHT KNIGHT!" Bo-bobo, with a bandage on his stabbed shin, called out to the Bo-light Knight. Everyone bugged out right here. "I believe you can do it!"

"Thank you, citizen!" His rapier hairs finally transformed into megaphones, which he brought to his mouth. "BO-LIGHT CROWD CONTROL DEVASTATOR!"

The close range sonic booms brought buildings to their knees, the gang to their stomachs, Bo-bobo flying into the Bo-light Knight to become one with him once more, and the no longer suave Arn D. Stumpgrinder to be acquainted with the sky.

"You haven't seen the last of us, Bo-bobo! We will be BAAAAAAAaaaaaaack!" He called out, before he disappeared in a twinkle.

"Yay! You did it, Bo-bobo!" The humans of the group said, group-hugging Bo-bobo, and then beating him up. "BUT NOW WE CAN'T HEAR GOOD!"

"Oh geez..." Poppa looked around, his candy lips fell into a frown. "It might be best if we left right now, gang." The town around them was practically leveled by the sonic booms, with the odd exception of the Happy Croc restaurant.

And before the townspeople could chase after them, they were far gone.

--

"Well, that was a close one." Gasser panted, looking back from the sound-ravaged town.

"Yeah!" Hatenkou added. "We were THIS close to having to pay for collateral damages! Like we got that kind of money on us!"

Everyone chuckled at that thought, but the gang's eyes turned to the brothers who were about to go down a different fork in the road. "You two have to go?" Bo-bobo asked.

"I'm afraid so." Mitch said with regret. "We still have to find that woman... Denbo-chan, I believe her name was, you said."

"Don't worry. We'll meet again." And with that, the Muscle Master and the Soul Devourer waved goodbye, and walked away.

MILDER LEFT YOUR PARTY.

The candy looked around again. "Where'd that come from?"

MITCH LEFT YOUR PARTY.

"We can't worry about that right now, minna!" Bo-bobo rallied, as the eight of them were now running off towards the opposite path in the fork, and running towards their destiny. "LET'S GO!"

--

Will the gang be sure that their next trip to a town won't end in disaster?

Who are we to say who they will encounter next?

And will Poppa Rocks get a prescription drugfor his godson, who's currently writing on his back?

"YOUNO-GOOD PUNK!"

Hatenkou smiled. "We'll find out, next time!"


	12. e to the 11

Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo: Video Crisis! 

Disclaimer: I don't own this series, any series that makes any cameo appearances, or the people who have made Bo-bobo. I do, however, own this fic.

--

"Because we keep bringing ruination to the many dots of civilization we travel to... we are called the Outcasts. We are people, who have been shunned by society, and yet we fight to preserve the very society who has cast us aside--"

"Enough with the monologue!" Softon said, kicking Poppa Rocks in the face.

"OWWWWWW!"

"Hey!" Hatenkou charged. "You can't assault my God-daddy!"

"Oh yes, I can!" Softon tossed Hatenkou in the air, and his hands started glowing with green energy. "Babylon Fist!" He lept into the air, and socked it to Hatenkou in the gut. "BABYLONIC GARDEN PUNCH!"

"Hey!" Poppa said, clutching his face, his body covered with needless bandages. "Stop picking on my boy."

The pink soft serve-headed man raised an eyebrow and then nodded, before placing the blond's form beside the orange candy. He nodded once more, shrugged his shoulders, and walked past them.

"God-daddy..."

"You don't have to call me that anymore, Hatenkou..." Poppa Rocks pulled out a form, with his signature.

The blond gasped. "You mean... I can really and truly call you Daddy?"

The candy smiled... and then laughed loudly, shattering the faith of poor Hatenkou. "You crack me up, Hatenkou! This is just a waiver that says I get your things when you die!"

"BUT I NEVER MADE A WILL! HOW COULD YOU?" The blond cried outloud, suffocating the candy with a deep hug.

"C'MON, YOU TWO! PICK UP THE PACE!"

Bo-bobo's mighty voice boomed across the open plains, unleashing a massive soundwave that launched the two in the air, knocking them even further than where they were.

--

Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo: Video Crisis!

We're all Friends! What could Possibly Break our Tight-knit Bonds? VIOLENCE!

--

"Hey, minna! Guess what I just found?" Jelly waved eight tickets in his hand.

"What's that, Jelly G?" Bo-bobo asked, while ignoring the falling Poppa Rocks and Hatenkou intentionally grounding their fall... into Softon's, uh, soft head.

"GET OUT OF MY BRAIN!"

"While we were taking that quick break at the stream," Jelly said, bringing up a very detailed flashback. "I was, as usual, taking a nice pot of the stream water, and purified it by boiling it with a tiny little fire, to get rid of all the bacteria that was in it. But anyway, as I was doing that, I saw these tickets in a clear box float down the stream, and so I picked it up."

This aroused Beauty's interest. "What kind of tickets are they?"

"You mean... _I've been drinking infected water_?" Dengakuman interrupted the conversation, before falling over dead. His death was not noticed.

"It says here, that these are tickets to a pleasure cruise! And we got eight tickets!" Jelly smiled, bishoujo style, complete with jelly pigtails. "And eight tickets to eight of us, that 1:1 ratio works perfectly!"

Bo-bobo appeared in a detective suit. "Not so fast, Jiggler. BO-SCAN!" Out from his nostril emerged a tiny robot with Bo-bobo's insignia on it. It walked up to the tickets, and scanned them thoroughly. It gave the results on a sheet of paper to the afroed blond. "Hmm... thanks, Bo-Scan. Take the rest of the year off!" He used his nose hairs to fling the little robot high into the air. "Anyway, I'm afraid one of these tickets is a counterfeit."

"WHAT?" The lychee-flavored man was disappointed to hear it.

"Bo-bobo, I think it's a trap!" Gasser panicked.

"Nah, I doubt that! Besides, I bet whoever floated these tickets down the river really needs the business!" The afro-ed man laughed out loud. Then his face turned grim, picturing many people of shapes, sizes, and letters, standing in an unemployment line. "Or else they'll suffer the endless fate of poverty."

"Okay, that's a little much, man." Softon patted the blond's shoulders.

"When does the offer last on the tickets?" Beauty asked.

Jelly tossed away the counterfeit one, ignoring it as it burned into a fireball on the little white member of the group. "WHAT? IT EXPIRES TOMORROW!" His eyes bulged even wider. "AND IT'S **MANDATORY**!"

--

A random sunny port town... and Bo-bobo and crew are running desperately, with even suitcases and Dengakuman in tow. A massive cruise liner has just pulled up its boarding bridges, and has started sailing off.

"Bo-bobo! It's getting away!" Beauty cried out.

"NOT ON MY WATCH!" The Bonafied hero unleashed the longest nose hairs ever from his nostrils. "Fist of the Nose Hair!" Defying logic, as usual, his long-ass nose hairs wrapped itself around the massive liner. "BEHEMOTH BO-STRANGLE!"

"Even THAT should be your limit, Bo-bobo!" Beauty freaked out.

"No time for pointing out the obvious! Everyone, get on my nose hairs!"

Obeying the leader, the other six (should be seven, but Dengakuman's hiding in one of Softon's jacket pockets) jump on and start grinding on Bo-bobo's nose hairs, like a hedgehog on rails. The younger members of the group, as well as Softon and Hatenkou, managed to land onto the deck of the cruiseship. Jelly and Poppa, however, were having problems reaching the top, since all the hair-grinding was making Bo-bobo ticklish.

"Bo-bobo, whatever you do, DON'T sneeze!" Poppa Rocks panicked.

"Don't worry, I'm not so ticklish now." waved Bo-bobo as he leaned over the rail, waving goodbye to his afroed mama. "Bye, mommy!"

"Bye sweetie!"

"Wait, what are we grinding on then?" Jelly overreacted, as he and the orange candy looked under their feet to see... nothing...

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH--" Splash.

--

Bo-bobo, Poppa Rocks, Jelly Jiggler, Hatenkou, Beauty, Gasser, Softon, and Dengakuman were at awe with the luxurious, and not to mention massive, eight-bedded room, with a big dining table, chandelier, and anything else that other rich people would find pretty common.

"Nice run-on." Gasser muttered to himself-- hey, wait a minute!

"He's got you there, Mr. Narrator!" Dengakuman chirped.

"Who's he talking to?" Beauty asked Bo-bobo.

"He's crazy, boys!" Poppa said, pulling out a police officer's hat. "Get the tasers!"

While Poppa and Softon were shocking the daylights out of Dengakuman, the other five continued to be in awe of the whole room. Eight perfect beds were laid out in two columns of four (or four rows of two). Bo-bobo was looking around, and spied a bathroom, which he heard a faint, but beautiful singing voice emanating from the shower.

"That magnificent voice, it's beautiful!" Bo-bobo squealed. "I MUST HAVE HER!"

"And so you shall, stud." The illustrous voice sang out, as the body the voice belonged too, was our favorite orange candy, in a blond wig and a bathrobe. "Let us elope in this beautiful barge!"

"OKAY, ENOUGH WITH ALL THIS!" Beauty screamed, drawing out an even more massive fan. "Varied Support Fist! HYPER HARISEN SLAP!" She smacked Bo-bobo and Poppa Rocks into the ceiling. She calmed down, and dismissed her giant fan.

"Beauty," The afroed hero got up, no longer scathed with a giant fan mark on his face. "You're improving on your techniques, but now, you must _up_ your training a little further."

"I've never even taken training though!" Beauty panicked, before Bo-bobo grabbed her arm and took her into another room.

Gasser looked on, wondering what Bo-bobo would do with the girl he likes. But then, remembering that this was Bo-bobo, he dismissed the fact that she would be in any danger, and turned to see Softon, Hatenkou, and Jelly at a TV with a game system. "Huh... A game system in a digital world... physics, we hardly knew ye..."

The scene suddenly changed to a funeral, where lots of mourners with black clothes, black veils, and black ribbons around their arms were paying an open tribute to a great person: Physics Peterson. "I DIDN'T MEAN LITERALLY!" Gasser reacted.

"Hey! This is a fighting game, so let's head to the Training option!" Jelly said, picking up the controller, and selecting the Training Option. On the screen, Bo-bobo and Beauty, dressed in martial artist gis, appeared. "Whoa..."

"I know!" Hatenkou added. "If the only playable characters are Bo-bobo and the little lady, then this isn't much of a fighting game!"

"Hey! I wanna see too!" the orange candy pushed Gasser out of the way, and sat on the couch behind Softon.

"Okay, Beauty, listen up." Bo-bobo instructed, looking his 'disciple' in the eyes. "Your Varied Support Fist, while VERY helpful in a group dynamic, must be strengthed even more so if you want to, rather, HAVE TO solo on your own. And so, I will now induct you into the school of the Fist of the Nose Hair."

Softon suddenly pictured light pink nose hairs coming out of Beauty's nostrils. A sweat-drop moved down his face. "This should be very interesting..."

"WHAT?"

"Um, okay..." Beauty said, unsure of the consequences ahead of her.

"Now first, you must remember to be in full sync with your pilot!" Bo-bobo taught.

"What pilot?" The girl was dumbfounded, before Bo-bobo held a mirror to her face, and she could see, in her retina, a young man and a cockpit inside her eyes. "WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?"

"Sir! I'm losing my synchro rating with the Beauty unit!" The pilot in her retina said.

"The unit is aware of it's sentience! Jam it with morphine!" The commander said.

"JAM IT WITH WHAT?" Beauty dreaded, before she blanked out, and looked at Bo-bobo, calm as ever. "Okay, what next?"

"Now, once you are in your zone of focus," the afroed hero said. "You must brace into your fighting stance." He demonstrated his explanation. "Focus all of your energy... your energy, focus, rage, mana, angst, chakra, or whatever it is you use; you gotta focus ALL of it, and channel it to your nose." As he was channeling his said energies, his serpentine nostril hairs slithered out, and started doing a small wave, and then became two hair silhouettes, dancing the cha-cha.

"Okay..." The silver-haired kid stared oddly, but saw Hatenkou and Dengakuman enthralled by the 'ritual dance'! "I EXPECTED MORE FROM YOU TWO!"

"Okay, your turn, Beauty!" He giddily stated, jumping up and down like an excited kid.

"Alright alright..." Closing her eyes, she breathed deeply, before her pure white aura surrounded her. She felt a semi-comfortable twitching, and she was giggling lightly to herself before she opened her eyes, and what she saw froze her in place; unable to even move, she saw her own pink brand of nose hairs come out of her nostrils. "Wh-wh-wh-WHAT IS THIS?"

"Embrace the Nose Hair Fist, Beauty! EMBRACE IT!" He shouted, with a megaphone, no doubt, to her face.

"It feels weird, and stop shouting!" At the highest of her shout, her hairs darted back in. ? "What happened?"

"You lost your focus, Beauty. But, it is as they say, practice makes perfect!" Bo-bobo patted her back hard in a congratulatory manner. "Now, here's your complimentary steaks, and a pass for a free massage, courtesy of Bo-Don-Jel, the leading name in meats and fine massages! And we'll see you all next time!"

The other six were just staring in surprise. The little white ally stood in anger. "THIS FIGHTING GAME BITES!"

"FIGHTING GAME? TAKE THIS!" Bo-bobo punched towards the screen, only it hit the door with enough force to fire it like a massive cannonball, and floor all but Gasser. Lucky him, that kid.

"God dammit, man."

--

"So, do you understand?" The face of Marmalada Jiggler appeared on a monitor. "They are not to leave that ship alive."

"But what of master Jelly?"

"Hmm..." She cupped her chin in thought, while injured members Larry and Sidney waved. "Try to bring him to me alive... if it's reasonably practical."

"Understood, milady." As the monitor signed off, a voice boomed in the room. "You all are the Seven Yacht Masters! Ensure that Bo-bobo and his crew are destroyed, and bring master Jelly alive!"

--

Finally having a moment to themselves, Beauty and Gasser were looking out at the flowing ebbs of the ocean water, under the sudden starry sky. The rest of the gang had retired to their beds, and they probably didn't want to wake them, as they were all having visions of dancing sugar plums in their heads, except they were all dancing on a dream stage, with the other six as the dream audience. The very disturbing dream audience...

"Gasser, can I ask you something?" The girl asked the boy.

He blushed from the question. "Sure, Beauty. What's on your mind?"

"What do you think will happen when this is all over?" Her voice took a somewhat depressing turn. "We'll all split up, go our own ways?... but what about us?" She turned to him, her eyes twinkling with held-back tears. "Gasser, I really like you! I don't want to be alone without you!"

Gulping, the silver-haired kid held her close. "Even when all this is over, I'll always be here. I cannot return to my village, since it's in ruins, so I want to always be with you, Beauty. Because... I love you."

Looking up into his eyes, she smiled faintly, and they shared a gentle moment. They stayed there just as the stars were becoming a slight brighter, making the ocean reflect the twinkling. As they broke from the embrace, they saw Jelly, sitting on a patio chair, looking out towards the water.

"I knew you two would be together." Jelly calmly said, his eyes glued to the water. "It was all a matter of waiting for the both of you to admit it."

"HOW LONG WERE YOU THERE?" The two teens hammered their fists into the Jiggler's soft melon.

"OW!" He bellowed, before a sudden snapshot caught the three's now undivided attention. They turned to see a rocky golem about the size of Bo-bobo, with a rocky afro to boot, holding a camera. "Hey pal! WHO ARE YOU?"

"Oh me?" The golem responded with a raspy lisp. "I'm one of the Yacht Masters on this cruiseline. They call me Gan. Gan-GaGan. So, are you three enjoying the view?"

The pink-haired bowed. "It is a lovely view."

"Oh thanks for the compliment, sweetie. I was in charge of the layout of the deck, so that all of our cruise-goers enjoy the views as well as you have." Rocky blushed. "Well, I'll leave you three be. Have a nice night." And with that, the rock formation walked away.

"Okay guys, dish out the good stuff." An overly-excited Jelly squealed, with pigtails and cute eyes. "So, how long have you two--" He was fairly clubbed in the face by his patio chair. "AUGH!"

"WE'RE PRIVY TO THAT INFORMATION!" Beauty harped, before taking a concerned look at the Onara Fist expert. "Something wrong, Gasser?"

"I don't know... I don't trust that guy."

--

The next morning, The Gang (yeah, that's what I'll refer the eight of them to, bite me) all went down to the buffet, where immediately, Poppa Rocks, Bo-bobo, and Jelly were making asses of themselves. They were mauling each other over who would get the whole plate of scrambled eggs. The rest simply went around them, and took it while they were beating the daylights out of each other.

Realizing the errors of their actions, they all wore white tutus, and started twirling around the other five, who promptly sat at a table. Their reasoning was that they were going to put on a one-Bo show, but that didn't sit too well with the candy and lychee-flavored man, so they whacked him into the ground with prop hammers. Bo-bobo didn't get any breakfast, so when everyone was done, he chowed down on the table.

"It's good for fiber!" Bo-bobo quipped.

"Yeah... I just noticed something. We've been having relatively calmer and quieter moments, guys." Jelly said, sipping a cup of coffee.

"IT'S KILLING ME ON THE INSIDE!" Poppa Rocks screamed, who then started giggling maniacally. He giggled himself to sleep, just as Hatenkou draped him with his scarf. He responded with an uppercut to the shoulder. "YOUR SCARF MAKES ME ITCH!"

"How's everything here?" The gang turned to see a giant green blob with adorable eyes, and long wavy blob hair. "I am Puny Blob Man, the caterer for this cruiseline. How's the food, everyone?"

"Very delicious, thank you." Bo-bobo said, as he pulled out a sudden photo of the Happy Croc Restaurant. "Granted, it's not as delicious as the food from this place, but hey, food's food, man."

"Ah yes, the Happy Croc..." The blob nodded, and then bounced over to the stairs leading out. "Come come! All ship-goers are invited on the deck for lots of fun!"

"Wait..." Beauty called out to the blob. "Where are the people? Aren't there any other people aboard?"

"Oh my, no. This cruiseline happens to be only for the elite of the elite! Only those who found the tickets, could be the elite of the elites!"

"You mean we're the only ones here?" Softon said.

"Pwecisely." The blob cutely blobbed. Puny Blob Man bounced up the stairs, calling down to the others. "Come, all. We don't want to keep the fun waiting!"

All shrugging their shoulders in a very strange bout of coincidence, Bo-bobo and the rest went up the steps, coming out to the deck. The gang saw that they were coming very close to land. So close in fact, that the ship hit the beach, hurtling Dengakuman high into the sky.

"I'm gonna be an astronaut!" The little white thing screamed, before he twinkled out.

"WHAT THE HECK?" Beauty toned a little lower.

"Welcome, Bo-bobo and pals... to your demise!"

The golem Gan-GaGan and the blob Puny Blob Man appeared. "We, the Seven Yacht Masters, will defeat you in the name of our great lady, Marmalada Jiggler!"

"I knew it was a trap, all along." Bo-bobo braced himself into fighting position.

"Bo-bobo, YOU OF ALL PEOPLE SAID THAT IT WASN'T A TRAP!" Beauty overreacted.

"Now you will face the wrath of the Seven Yacht Masters! I am **Gan-GaGan**!" The afroed golem flexed.

"I am **Puny Blob Man**!" The blob bounced around.

A pretty man, who also had a giant tentacle coming out of his left side appeared beside the blob. "I am **Tentis**!"

"I am **The Mighty Zig**!" A giant check with money signs and feet appeared behind them.

"**Jack** is my calling." A mysterious man with a giant bladed fan appeared after.

A little grey-haired girl in a pink dress finally appeared, holding the hand of a giant letter M. "I'm **Cindy**!"

"And I am her boyfriend, **_M_**."

The golem spoke up again. "You cannot take the Seven Yacht Masters, Bo-bobo! Even your strength and teamwork will fall to the power that is us!"

--

Who are these Seven Yacht Masters?

"WE JUST SAID OUR NAMES!"

Will Bo-bobo and pals ever get the chance to avoid conflict?

"NO WAY!"

And will Dengakuman really realize his dream of being an astronaut?

The little ally appeared. "Tune in next time!"


	13. Modulating 12

Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo: Video Crisis! 

Disclaimer: I don't own this series, any series that makes any cameo appearances, or the people who have made Bo-bobo. I do, however, own this fic.

--

"Love Spares Not the Dragon" A One-Man Show by Poppa Rocks (alias Uncle Starburst)

The stage curtains were lifted up, and we see Poppa Rocks bowing towards an audience. "This One-Man show is based off what happened to two friends of mine, whose names shall remain anonymous." He pulls out a box, puts it behind his back, and snapped his fingers to unveil a mountainous backdrop. "It all began when my two pals, Don Lovely and Don Heppo, were taking a scenic mountain route as a fun activity for their one-year anniversary."

He reached behind him, put on a pink wig, and his facial features became a near-perfect Beauty mock; as if someone cut the girl's face, and pasted it on his own. "_Oh, my darling Heppo, it's so nice to get away from the city and take in the countryside._"

In a quick instant, he tossed the pink wig off, putting on a spiky silver wig, and his features became Gasser's. "_I agree, dear. This really gets the heart going, amongst other things that are currently racing inside me._" He looked with a confident smirk.

"SOME ANONYMITY THAT IS!" Beauty and Gasser yelled. Their outburst was ignored, as the candy continued his play.

"Until suddenly, a ferocious mountain dragon appeared out of the blue." Poppa continued, pulling a dragon hat from the box and putting it on.

"_ROAR!_" The 'dragon' roared. "_I am Poppa Dragon! Why have you come to my mountain?_"

'Don Lovely' was shaking. "_We didn't know that this mountain was taken. We're just a couple who were just passing through._"

'Poppa Dragon' raised an eyebrow. "_Are you two in love?_"

"_Going a year and stronger!_" 'Don Heppo' boasted, throwing his arm to the side, as if becoming a shield for the lady.

"_Bah! Love is dead._" 'Poppa Dragon' growled. "_I felt an attraction to a lady dragon once, but she said that the egg was mine, and because of that wench, I'm now a single parent!_" He stared over his shoulder, hearing a baby cry. "_Now I have to care for my little whelp, whom I have to hit with his own bottle to shut him up._" He grabbed a baby bottle, and threw it backstage, stopping the crying. "_You see? THIS is what love has done to me!_" 'Poppa Dragon' snarled.

"_Another angst-filled victim of false love._" 'Don Lovely' said sadly, pulling out a giant fan.

"_Looks like we'll have to show you the positives of the matter!_" 'Don Heppo' agreed, channeling some orange energy from his rump.

"_BAH! You scaleless fleshbags are just two people! You can't stop a mighty dragon such as myself!_"

Poppa appeared with a spotlight on his sole being. "But sure enough, twenty seconds later..."

'Poppa Dragon' collapsed on the ground, all bloodied and bruised. "_I lost! How did I lose to you mammals?_"

"Is Poppa even an animal?" Bo-bobo wondered to himself.

"_We won, because we believed in each other!_" 'Don Lovely' boasted, pointing her fan at the dragon.

"_We won, because we believed in the power of love!_" 'Don Heppo' added.

"_OH THANK YOU, YOU WONDERFUL COUPLE YOU!_" 'Poppa Dragon' was now cleansed of injuries. "_Although I will still be a single parent, I will learn to love again, and to better appreciate my little boy!_" A vein popped in his forehead, as he grabbed another baby bottle, and threw it backstage again, silencing another baby cry. "_SHUT UP! I'M A GOOD DAD NOW!_"

"I wish only the best for them all." Poppa Rocks said, as he tossed the wigs and hat aside, and took a bow. He was greeted to the sound of applause, from hands, liquids, claws, and paws alike.

"Wow... that candy really captured your angry side, daddy." The two 'sane' humans in the Bo-bobo gang looked to a little dragon boy, sitting on his father dragon's knee.

"Yep. So much rage..." The fiery lizard sighed.

"YOU MEAN THE DRAGON WAS REAL?" Beauty overreacted.

"Oh yes, he was. Now he's our good pal." Gasser turned around to see Don Lovely and Don Heppo, with the lady holding a tiny Lil Rocks in her hands.

"Wait..." This drove Gasser to the brink of confusion. "So... you guys weren't portraying--"

"Oh heavens no!" Poppa said, slapping the two kids away. "Don Lovely is my third cousin, and she married a stud, and had a kid with him!"

"THE PLAY WAS NICE, BUT NOW WE MUST FIGHT!" Bo-bobo, of all people, angrily swatted everyone away in a whirlwind of nose hairs.

--

After our good pal Softon rejoined our heroes, they approached a new town, filled with new sights and new sounds. Unfortunately, those sights and sounds were never taken in, because the gang went to the Happy Croc Restaurant for a big and hearty Brunch. However, their silence was broken when two more members of the Bald Empire Intarweb Corps, Arn D. Stumpgrinder and P, nearly destroyed the restaurant.

Jelly inadvertently took down P, and thanks to the mysterious appearance of the Bo-light Knight, Arn D. Stumpgrinder was also sent packing. The gang would've stayed for a victory speech, if they hadn't unintentionally leveled the town. A mysterious agenda, which involved finding Denbo-chan, made Milder and Mitch leave the group, but Bo-bobo and Dengakuman wouldn't have minded helping them find the magical singer, if they knew that they were her.

At a stream, the blue Jiggler found a see-through box contain seven tickets to a wonderful cruiseline that HAD to be used, since it was mandatory. The gang made it, and after the wonderful training session with Bo-bobo and Beauty, Gasser and Beauty openly expressing their feelings, and the afro man making an ass of himself once again, Bo-bobo and pals end up fighting against the Seven Yacht Masters of the Intarweb Corps! Will they stand up to the might of:

**"Gan-GaGan!"**

**"Puny Blob Man!"**

**"Tentis!"**

**"The Mighty Zig!"**

**"Jack!"**

**"Cindy!"**

**"M!"**

Or will they go down with this ship?

--

Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo: Video Crisis!

Swoop and Slide on this Sandy Beach Ride! The Sand, it Burns our Toes! OWIES!

--

As our seven allies stare down the seven Yacht Masters, waves were crashing behind their feet, throwing them into a soggy and uncomfortable disadvantage for their footwear.

"Now," As the gruff fan-wielder Jack cleared his throat. "It is our duty to destroy you and your entourage, Bo-bobo. And it is also our duty to bring back master Jelly alive... if it's reasonably practical."

"YOU MEAN I'M NOT THAT IMPORTANT?" Jelly hypered out, crying on the moist shore. "I thought I was a higher priority than my friends' lives!"

"Some friend you are!" Beauty harped over Jelly's wails.

"And as such, we Seven Yacht Masters will take your Band of Seven easily!" Gan-GaGan threatened.

"AND I WILL START THE ASSAULT!" The giant blank check known as the Mighty Zig lept into the air! "HUUUUWAAAAAHHH!"

"You idiot! Not yet!" The 5'4" letter M tried to stop his ally, but it was too late!

"Blank Fist Mastery!" The check's body was glowing a vibrant green. "BLANK BODY ASSIMILATION:" Seeing the attack heading straight for him, Poppa Rocks lobbed an empty seashell at the blank body of Mighty Zig. A massive white flash overtook everyone, as the check soon had a picture of a shell on his front. "Seashell Form!"

Everyone was in awe... a quiet awe...

"WAIT? _SEASHELL FORM_?" The Mighty Zig panicked. "NO! I CAN'T MOVE! THIS CAN'T BE! I'VE TAKEN ON THE PROPERTIES OF A SHELL! INCLUDING IT'S INABILITY TO MOVE!"

A tiny little crab walked by the shell-infused check. "Hmm," it had a pompous air about it. "How many floors does this shell have?"

"Well," The Mighty Zig said, "it has two floors, a king-sized bedroom, and a full dinette set."

"Hmm... pass." The crab scoffed at the broken-spirited check.

"Oh..." a sad violin tune came to the side of the Mighty Zig. "That's the first customer who turned me down... I'll never make it, into real-estate..." He began crying so loud, that he knocked the violin into the air with his wail. "AND ENOUGH WITH THE CLASSICAL! EVERYONE KNOWS I LOVE SOFT ROCK! **SOFT ROCK!**"

Jack cleared his throat again. "Anyway, since our check has just bounced out of this fight, we Six Yacht Masters, though that sounds so very wrong to say, will take on YOUR Band of Seven, Bo-bobo!"

"Well, that's just peachy!" Bo-bobo was giddy, as he threw off his clothes. "I've always wanted to do one of these mock Cosplay battles!" To his word, the blond afro-ed hero and his pals were all dressed up in feudal clothes with markings all across their faces. "You will refer to me as Bo-kotsu of the _Bo-boband of Seven_!"

"When did we seguay into Feudal clothes?" Gasser reacted in Beauty's place.

"YOU IDIOT! WE WERE THIS CLOSE TO HAVING RUMIKO TAKAHASHI HAVING OUR LEGS BROKE!" The blob on the enemy's side panicked.

Now back to normal, Bo-bobo pointed dramatically at them. "Alright, then I challenge the leader of your ragtag bunch!"

All seven of the Yacht Masters looked at each other, then got into a huddled group, trying to discuss who was the actual leader amongst them. Meanwhile, the check saw another potential crustacean customer, and hopped over to it with the most of his strength.

"Would you like to take a look inside this portable home?"

"Pig!" The lady crab said, as she clawed at his face, and then scuttled away.

"Ooh... that's the second turndown... I'll never get that promotion now..."

After all was said and done, the seven turned to the good guys. "We are all in equal position to NOT have a leader amongst us."

Bo-bobo really got upset by this motion, as he slumped on the ground, with wisps of sadness and darkness keeping him company. He then bursted outloud, knocking those wisps into eternity! "Then I guess I'll take on that fellow with the rocky 'fro! I like his style!"

The afroed golem charged towards the Bo-tastic hero. "Excellent choice, fool! NOW SUFFER!" As the two collided, they vanished into nothingness.

"What the?" Hatenkou wondered. "Where'd Bo-bobo go?"

"We're making this fair one on one fights." Said little Cindy, as she let go of the over-sized M's hand, and walked up to him. "And I want to take you on, big person!" She touched Hatenkou's knee, and then they both vanished.

"Take my flunkey and/or godson, and you're gonna get it!" The orange candy raved, tackling M full on, causing them to disappear.

"Soft-headed man! YOU ARE MY RIVAL!" Puny Blob Man rushed over to Softon, pairing them up for battle!

Tentis's slithery side-tentacle wrapped itself around the silver-haired member of Bo-bobo's team tightly. "I like the gray one. Let's have a good time!"

"And to top it off, I'll gladly take you on, Ms. Fan-user." Jack drew his giant razor-edged fan. "I'm going to enjoy slicing you up!" Before the girl could reject, she too disappeared with him.

"Hey! WHY AM I LEFT OUT?" Jelly cried.

"I'm still here..." The Mighty Zig was all depressed, taking into account the Jiggler's stare. "I maybe in seashell form, but I'm still your opponent! BRING IT ON!"

"You want a piece of me?" Jelly threatened. "YOU GOT IT!"

--

In an orbiting satellite in the depths of space, we see many monitors. People are flipping switches and pressing buttons, and most important of all, we see Dengakuman amongst them bringing everyone coffees, snack cakes, and his trademark **'grilled tofu dipped in miso on a stick'**.

"Thanks much, Dengakuman!" A woman astronaut said.

"You're really coming along in the world, youngster!" A gruff astronaut followed up.

"Additional astronaut compliment, Dengakuman." Said a random passerby.

"You're all so nice! Thank you all!" Dengakuman smiled. His eyes then caught seven monitors, showing his other seven friends standing parallel from their opponents. "WHOA! Is that..."

"Yeah, something screwy's going on in the Net." A technician appeared from behind them, with swirls in his lenses. "It's always been rogue programs from the Bald Empire as of late who are currently messing us over, but I believe those other seven there are trying their damned best to restore order."

"You mean I managed to get out of the Net?" Dengakuman was overjoyed in shock. "I can still help them in some way, right?"

"Of course! It'll be up to you, to bring these matches to televisions and podcasts everywhere!" Another astronaut perked up.

"So head to the satellite dish at the top of the station, Dengakuman! Head there now!" The captain ordered.

A renewed energy had now coursed through the veins of little Dengakuman. "HOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAHH! I'M READY! This is for all the people who love grilled tofu dipped in miso on a stick!" And like a white bullet, he charged out of the control room.

"You know," grimaced an astronaut. "I don't really like these grilled tofu dealies."

"Then don't EAT THEM!" A fanged white uppercut and flurry to the solar plexus assaulted the astronaut, before resuming his charge to the satellite dish. Everyone else stepped back in fright.

--

**Poppa Rocks versus M**

In a wrestling arena, the orange candy and the green letter M were glaring at each other.

"Listen M," the candy spoke. "We may have trained together, but we both knew that only one of us would come out on top." He extended his hand. "So let's give it our all, and we'll both see the sunset again."

M suddenly pictured the both of them, sitting on a grassy knoll overlooking the sunset. "You're right... like before... hey, wait a minute!" He freaked out. "I ONLY JUST MET YOU NOW! HOW DARE YOU IMPLANT FALSE MEMORIES IN ME!" His tone became very deathly. "I hate it when people implant false memories inside me, just to distract me."

"Fist of the Poppa Arts!" The candy pulled out his trademark green onion sprig. "GREEN ONION SWORD..." He dashed and slashed M into the air with a rising launcher. "AIR COMBO!" He lept up after him, and slashed him one, two, three, four, five, six times! "7 hits... for 1396 damage." The letter M collided to the ground.

"Nicely done, punk." M seethed. He raised his fist in front of his face, smirking angrily at the candy. "Now, take on the arts that we letters are taught at birth!" He lept into the air. "Dictionary Fist! M STANDS FOR... _MAGMA_!" He breathed out a torrent of red hot lava, watching the candy weave through the molten breath.

"WOW! That's a hotfoot!"

"What hotfoot?" M's eyes suddenly bulged in panic. "WAAAAH! My leg's on fire!" Once more, he looked focused. "Never you mind that. M STANDS FOR... _MAELSTROM_!" A massive tidal wave appeared from behind the letter, and started to grow in size.

"No..." Poppa said regretably. "It's the perfect wave..."

(Movie Preview: A Destined Date with Watery Death: **part three**)

"THIS HAPPENED BEFORE?" M was flabbergasted.

The mighty wave was encroaching upon the tiny fishing boat. The five Lil' Rocks were merely in awe, then closely followed by awe's noisy uncle, irrational panic. The scarred visage of the fishing boat's captain, Captain Starburst, looking determined.

"Crew, head to the lifeboats and abandon ship." He bravely ordered.

"But what about you, sir?" A Lil' Rock asked.

"tsk Dummy... we all know the Captain goes down with the ship."

"But, I won't leave you sir!" Another Lil' Rock cried out.

"We can't get off! There are no lifeboats!" A gruff sounding Lil Rock pointed out.

"Well, looks like we'll cross over to the Great Beyond, together..." A tear went down the Captain's eyes, as the crew's eyes were locked in terror.

"WHERE ARE YOUR NAUTICAL ETHICS MAN?" M freaked out, just as the tidal wave hit the candy.

(End Movie Preview)

A water-logged Poppa Rocks was now lying there on the mat. "Uh oh..." M thought. "He's not breathing. I want to beat a LIVING opponent. So, M STANDS FOR... _MOUTH-TO-MOUTH_!" He rushed over to the candy, and performed much needed resuscitation. (Remember: there's no yaoi here lol) "LIVE DARN YOU, LIVE!"

"EW! Cooties!" The orange candy reacted, as a spiky punch was heading towards M. "Poppa Arts Counter: NEEDLE PUNCH TO BREADBASKET!"

Contorted in pain, the letter gasped heavily. "Man... that hurts... if I was my good acquaintance A, that would've knocked me down in one shot!"

"Hey! I know A!" Poppa Rocks said as he pulled out a photograph, showing him and A on the ferris wheel. "Good times!"

"He's MY friend!" M was highly offended, as he threw his arms to the side. "M STANDS FOR... _MISSILE_!" A missile silo erupted from under his feet, and spewed out volley after volley of missiles. The metallic rain of destruction stockpiled ten feet in front of the letter as massive explosions overtook the surprisingly spacious arena.

"An impressive execution, young man!" Poppa with beautiful eyes, lips, and a dress appeared, acting as a sultry teacher. "But, I'm afraid you missed just one itty-bitty target." He pointed forward, as the explosions all occured on a field of bullseye targets, and only one of them was left unscathed.

"NO! My perfect test score records! Broken!"

"Here's your punishment!" Poppa haughtily laughed as he pulled out two chalkboard erasers! "Poppa Arts Counter: PATCH BRAND ERASER CLAPPERS!"

The clappings went on, covering the entire arena with chalky dust. "AUGH! I can't see!" The letter cried out. "Cheap shot, teacher! Now, face my wrath! M STANDS FOR... _MONDAY_!" As the chalk cloud settled down, Poppa Rocks was calmly sitting in a cubicle, wearing a clip-on tie. What it's clipping on to, we haven't the foggiest. M, wearing another clip-on tie, peaks into the candy's cubicle. "Rocks, I'm gonna need to work this Saturday."

"NOOOOOOOOOO!" As if struck by three separate attacks, he flew in pain three times, keeled over and looked up, seeing the letter between L and N smirk. "That's a cruel thing to say to someone first thing in the week."

"I'm not nice." M factualized his words.

A shining orange aura soon enveloped the battered candy. As the aura grew more massive, Poppa started sprouting more spikes all over his visage. "Now you will face... what is to be my ultimate Wiggin' technique! I'm freaking out here!" He looks at the viewers, and says, "Rapid Tap X to make more spikes come out, people!"

"THIS IS A MINI GAME?" M cried out, as an audience made of silhouettes appeared out of nowhere, rapidly pressing their index fingers as fast they can, watching his eyes grow in terror as more and more sharp spikes shot out of the orange candy's back. "About a thousand of them?"

"This is my ultimate... Ultimate Poppa Arts Technique!" As the candy pointed forward,the pointed-up spikes were now aiming downwards, and they were plummeting in varied speeds. The poor letter M was getting juggled by all the falling sharp spikes, phasing out after contact. The letter M was now finally getting multi-hitted by a massive spike. "STARBURST SPIKE SHARDS!"

Bloodied with yellow goo coming out of M, he struggled to get up. "Damn... I am humbled, Mr. Rocks." He picked up his hobo stick and a sack, and he started walking away. "And if you or your friends see my girl Cindy, tell her, I returned to theplace_where it all began_."

"Bye Bye, M-chan!" He was in 'pretty schoolgirl mode', waving frantically.

--

**Hatenkou versus Cindy**

"I don't know where we are," Hatenkou pointed to the little girl, ignoring the forest-infested riverside. "But I won't show mercy to a member of the Bald Empire, even if its a little girl."

"You'd beat little ol' me?" She asked with a sad tinge, looking at him with watery eyes. "That's not a very grown up thing to do, Mr. Hatenkou."

"Then I will end this fight quickly, so I won't have to hurt you." He pulled out his gold key from his pocket. The blond charged at her. "Fist of the Heart Lock! HEART... LOCK!" He twisted his key sideways, and watched her body take on greyish hues. "By paralyzing her, she'll pose no threat to me."

"Look out behind ya, godson!" Poppa Rocks, wearing a pretty hat with lace, called out to the blond from the audience seats.

"God-daddy? Is that you?" He turned around. "Why are trying to be a Scarlet O'Hara kind of gal?"

"SHUT UP! I'M HAVING FUN!"

"That was oh so mean of you!" The blond warrior's expression took an aghasted expression, looking back to the bright colored little enemy. "It's a good thing I have a high paralysis resistance, otherwise I would've been in trouble. Tee-hee!"

"Impossible... she shrugged off my Heart Lock?" His features took a grim look, as he twirled his key like a dagger. "No matter, now we do things the hard way!"

"Yes we do!" A pale grey aura surrounded her. "SUMMON ARMS!" Four astral arms appeared from the ground. "Since I'm just a little lady who can't do any harm, I have these little guys do my fighting for me." She threw her arm forward, and her limb minions rushed towards the key user.

"I don't think so." Hatenkou lept out of the way, seeing one arm go too far, crashing and getting evaporated from touching the hidden forcefield. "Just three left to go..." His hopes sank when another arm arose from the ground. "Well, looks like we're gonna have to get crazy here! Okay, you want crazy? YOU GOT IT!" He thrust his key into the ground. "Fist of the Heart Lock! RISING KEY TORRENTS!"

The girl looked around, seeing a giant keyhole appear underneath her and her lengthy minions. "What's this?" Suddenly, giant key-shaped energies emerged from the ground, striking all around the vicinity of the area-covering hole, easily evaporating the already summoned astral appendages, and destroying arms that were appearing from the destroyed ones. The girl was now clutching her sides, watching her minions being destroyed one by one. "Stop! Make it stop!"

"I thought so." Hatenkou smirked, channeling his focus into the attack. "You use up energy to summon the arms. Since you can't control your own skill, arms will keep popping up after the others are slain. So I'll keep mauling them until you give up."

She was running out of steam, as the arms disappeared completely, collapsing on the now-restored grassy ground. "M... Where's M...?"

Poppa Rocks walked up, and kneeled down to her eye level. "M told me to tell you, that he's going back to the place _where it all began..._ or some weird garbage like that."

"Thanks... I'll be sure to meet him there..." With those words, her form soon became a tiny wisp, flying out of the arena.

"Wow... That's what I call devotion, eh god-daddy?" Hatenkou contemplated.

"Yeah, but I bet the Astral Traffic must be HORRIBLE at this hour."

--

**Gasser versus Tentis**

In a street crosswalk, the young user of the Onara Fist meets face to face with the one-tentacled human opponent Tentis. "So, feel the burn yet, punk?"

"We only just got here, man." Gasser pointed out. He got into a fighting stance. "So show me your stuff!"

"Okay, you asked for it!" His massive tentacle on his side stretched really far in an attempt to strike the silver-haired kid. "I'll show you..." He ended up pulling back a giant food cart. "HOMEMADE TAKOYAKI BALLS FOR YOU!"

"YOU'RE GONNA FEED ME?" He reacted, but then calmed down when he whiffed up the joyous musk of delicious deepfried octopus balls. He reached over, blew on one of them, and ate it. "Mmmm this is good!" Gasser was overjoyed. "This is very delicious!"

"Oh stop, you're embarassing me." He humbly shook his head. "Next you'll tell me that I should start my own outdoor food cart."

"Well, it'll be a shame if people didn't get a chance to taste something so good!" He stood right beside him. "Tell me, what makes these things taste so good?"

"Well..." He looked at Gasser evilly. "Ever wonder why I only have one tentacle? It is because the meat I use for my locally-famous Takoyaki Balls were from my now severed seven tentacles!"

"Whaaaaaaaaaaaaat?" Gasser was dumbstruck!

"One-Tentacle Mastery! FALSE ADVERTISING!" Laughing madly he looked down at the silver-haired kid. "How do you like them now, huh?"

Gasser was silent, when suddenly he pulled out a bottle of ketchup, and dabbed some on another takoyaki ball. Eating it, he was in heaven. "These also taste pretty good with ketchup!"

"KETCHUP?" Tentis was well beyond insulted. "They'll only allow themselves to be served with miso at best! BUT KETCHUP?" With his ravaging tentacle now raring to go, the guy charged at him. "Now you DIE!"

"Onara Fist! BARKING SPIDER!" He launched a quick burst of gas at the tentacled man, suddenly seeing a yellow-striped arachnid jump out of the gas. "Not literally a spider!"

"True, but that move of yours had a secret effect, skree-skree!" The spider announced. "on aone percentchance, I become summoned and help you out, sonny!"

"Sweet!"

"D'ah! SPIDER!" Tentis freaked out, feeling the quick spider bite all over his being, even going so far as to bite off his last tentacle. "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"And I'm out, skree-skree!" In a cloud of yellow gas, the Barking Spider disappeared.

"I lost... Without my tentacle(s)," he bolded, "I am just a regular human. A jobless schmoe to boot. WHAT AM I TO DO?" He started bawling uncharacteristically on the ground.

"Need a job, bum-bum-bum?"

"Out of luck, bum-bum-bum?"

Two familiar musical voices called out to the no longer tentacled Tentis. His eyes looked up to see two blue-skirted, white bloused, red-wigged, hosiery-wearing Poppa Rocks and Hatenkou. Both of them cheered in unison. "Then take the big opportunity at the **Patchi-Brand Hajike Department Store!**"

"NOW YOU TWO HAVE REALLY LOST IT!" Gasser pulled a Beauty.

"But, I have nothing to offer the name of Hajike Department Store! I am just a schmoe!" Tentis went on, acting like a whiner.

"_Hajike_ means 'to bust out' or in other terms, to wig out." Hatenkou walked up to Tentis. He cupped a hand around the shorter's chin. "Believe me, I've seen your moves from afar, Mr. Tentis, and you, are, _Hajike material_."

Poppa's eyes were twinkling. "So come with us, Mr. Tentis! We can start you off right away!"

Manly crying, the Yacht Master nodded vigorously. "I WILL! THANK YOU YOU RAVISHING MAIDENS!"

"I WOULDN'T CALL THEM RAVISHING!" Gasser pointed out, but it was all for naught as the three of them went into a tall building. When a minute passed, he saw regular-clothed Hatenkou and Poppa Rocks running right out of the building. "What's up, you guys?"

"Do it!" The candy panicked. "DO IT NOW!"

"Oh right! Onara Fist! CRYSTALLIZED GAS BOMBS!" The silver-haired kid launched four large solidified gas balls at the base of the building, watching it explode in a dome-shaped remain. His congratulatory reward was an uppercut to the back of the head.

"NO! NOT THAT!" The candy increased his rate of panic. "You were supposed to get some churros and sweet donuts from that vendor over there for our new partner! BUT NOW HE'S GONE!" Hatenkou kneeled down and held his sobbing candy godfather.

Looking up to the sky, the three of them saw the transcendental image of the fallen Tentis... until the real-live Tentis fell straight onto the churro vendor behind them, and knocking him out in a charred mess. The vendor lifted himself off his feet, and walked away, taking his cart with him.

"So, let's get going." Gasser said.

--

How will Beauty, Softon, Jelly, and Bo-bobo fare against their matches?

Will M and Cindy meet once more at the place _where it all began_?

Will Tentis make partner?

And when will we get to see the bigwig whose hiding behind the plot?

A mysterious figure says, "Tune in next time!"


	14. Rounding down 13

Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo: Video Crisis 

Disclaimer: I don't own this series, any series that makes a cameo, or the people who make Bo-bobo (if I could, I would make them animate this fic lol). I do, however, own this fic.

--

Poppa Rocks, Hatenkou, and Gasser were navigating through a dimension filled with strange portals, trying to find the next match that their allies were being forced to engage in.

"I wonder which one leads to Beauty's..." Gasser mused to himself.

The orange candy, now donning little kid eyes, peeked into a random portal. "WOW! MAIMING!" A shrill cry, and Poppa's kiddy face was now covered in red. "HEHEHEHE! FRUIT PUNCH!" Calmly taking a finger to some on his face, while ignoring a panicked Gasser and Hatenkou, he licked off some of the red. He features took an appalled expression. "THIS ISN'T FRUIT PUNCH! IT'S TROPICAL PUNCH!" He started crying louder and louder. "POPPA HATENKOU! SAVE ME!"

The blond, with his face painted in orange and fake orange spikes coming out the top of his head, calmly walked up to the whiny Rocks, kneeled down, and gave him some fruit juice in a tetra pack. "There we go. No more scary juices from concentrate."

"I don't know which of you is more nuts!" Gasser reacted.

"WHY?" A mechanized voice wailed from the portal that the candy looked at. "WHY DOESN'T ANYONE LIKE MY KILLING?" A self-destruct sequence later, a giant mechanical hand flew straight into the silver-haired kid, knocking him flat on his face.

"YAY!" The little kid Poppa jumped up and down, whilst holding the hand in his two. "Let's keep it! Let's keep it!"

POPPA ROCKS OBTAINED KEY ITEM: SEVERED MECHA HAND!

"What good will that do us?" Gasser groaned weakly.

--

Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo: Video Crisis!

The Final Four are Left! A Cognitive Battle of Longevity! Or Shortness, Whichever Comes First...

--

**Softon versus Puny Blob Man**

"Why did you choose me as a rival?" Softon asked, looking around the green Jello-like arena. "You could've taken your pick of anyone else... so why choose me?"

"Because I want to prove myself to the others!" The squishy blob attempted. "I want to show them, that Puny Blob Man isn't so puny, or blob! For you see," the background suddenly went to a flashback, showing the little green blob getting picked on by all the other blobs. "Even when I was in my home village, I was often picked on because of my strength. I was called Puny Blob Man not because it was a name to throw my enemies off. It is a name of great _insult_!"

"Really now?"

"Yes... We slimes rank ourselves by strength-type! Blob is the title that denotes the weakest level... it progresses higher, from Slime, to Ooze, to Flan, to Pudding, to Yogurt, and then stops at The Destroyer!"

A single sweat drop fell from Softon's brow. "That's a real step up..."

"Coupling onto the fact of my tiny stature, I was given the ultimate insult: the name of Puny Blob Man." Fire suddenly burned in his eyes. "I WILL NOW SHOW YOU, THAT I HAVE THE POTENTIAL TO SURPASS TITLES AND BECOME MY OWN LEVEL! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA--" The blob's gloating was cut off by a heavy punch to the cheek, squishing him all over Softon's mighty hand.

"So prove to me that you are at least a worthy opponent." Softon simply said.

"Puny Blob Fist!" The slimy residue soon recompiled itself as it surrounded Softon's hand. "Face my FATAL NERVE-NUMBING SENSATION!"

A sudden shock of pain reach Softon's strawberry soft-served head. Losing the feeling very quickly in his right arm, he had to use the remainder of the feeling left in it to throw off Puny Blob Man and onto a wall. "Damn... My arm's useless for now..."

"OW! That hurt! Alright Mr. Johnwise, you big doody-head, you're gonna pay for surviving my fatal attack!"

"Johnwise?" As Softon was disoriented by the strange threat, he failed to take into account the blob's sudden, and failed, attempt of a full-body tackle, instead bouncing him off, and making Puny Blob Man collide with the ground, followed with a cute squish. "... _Johnwise_?"

"Don't you ignore me! Here it comes again!" The slime charged once more. "Puny Blob Fist! FULL BLOBBY TACKLE!" The following attack managed to push Softon back an insignificant amount, while making the attacker fall face first into the arena again. "Ha! I knocked you a couple inches back that time!"

"Don't flatter yourself!" Softon braced his one good arm in a fighting stance. "Since you fail to grasp the ways that you can improve upon your weaknesses, I will prove to you your powerlessness." A green aura surrounded the soft-serve headed male, clutching his fist as a small power emanated from it. "Great Goddess Babble-On, grant me strength."

"Babbling on will not save you!" The blob made a war cry the likes of which no blob has ever known, as he valiantly charged with a lime green aura of his own.

"Rushing was your final mistake, so take this from me." He side-stepped. "Babylon Fist! The first will be to break your aura!" He launched his glowing limp limb against the blob, breaking the little guy's aura. "And the next attacks will seal your doom." His glowing true fist slammed once, twice, thrice, four times, and five times, into the shape of a star. "BABYLON'S TRUE NORTH STAR!" The star beam fired out of the drawing, blasting the little slime.

"NO! I AM VANQUISHED!" He screamed as he got launched into the air, disappearing in a comical twinkle.

Feeling his right arm again, and looking back to see Poppa, Hatenkou, and Gasser waiting for him, he started to walk to them. "Looks like my ride is here. C'mon gang, we'll take my car." A smoke cloud out of nowhere brought forth Softon's pink strawberry soft-serve car, and the four went inside and drove off into the dimensional holes.

--

**Beauty versus Jack**

On top of the wings of a mighty plane, the burly man known as Jack, and the shuddering and frightened... wait... The camera turns to see Beauty holding onto the wing of the plane with dear life. Even with her newlyfound perserverance, she felt herself starting to lose her grip.

"MY OPPONENT!" Jack rushed over, and extended the handle of his weapon. "GRAB MY FAN! HURRY!"

In a sudden daze of confusion, she gripped the grip of the man's bladed fan, and was pulled up by her opponent. "You... why did you save my life?"

"Don't get the wrong impression." He breathlessly said, as he lit a smoke. "I only saved you so I can make my guaranteed victory against you clean, since I don't like the kind of dirty fighting where one pushes the other off a far distance."

"YET YOU'D KILL ME IN ANOTHER UNFAIR WAY?" Beauty reacted.

"Not today, I won't." He got rid of his cigar, by eating it. "Mmmmm... Belgian."

"WAS THAT A CHOCOLATE CIGAR?" Her first response was a quick slice of sharp wind that nearly cut her face.

"Not only is my fan sharp, but the wind it sends at you is just as sharp!" He gripped his fan like how a samurai would grip his trusty katana. "Thus, is the discipline of the Fist of the Sharp Wind." He sidestepped all over the wings to close the distance. "SO HAVE AT YOU!"

"WAAAH!" She luckily dodged the first attack, but slipped and fell on her butt.

"That won't save you again!" He lept impossibly high into the air, clenching his grip on his weapon tighter. "Fist of the Sharp Wind! WINDY CITY FUNNEL!" An outlined wind drill careened its way towards Beauty, but missed its trajectory and took off a nice chunk of the wing.

"Oh no! The plane's going to lose its stability!" Beauty panicked as she felt the air arena take a five degree descent, but seemed to increase the panic as she saw Jack far away from the plane, hurtling down. "AND HE'S GONE OVERBOARD!"

"Sharp Wind Recovery! WIND RIDER!" Was barely heard by Beauty, as she saw him standing on nothing but a mighty gust of wind, leaping off it and back onto the plane. "HAHA! Easy!"

"I would comment on that, but I think I'd just spoil the moment." Beauty thought to herself. Her mind was brought back when she saw the fan user pull out another handle from underneath his fan grip, a second retractable fan popping out. "You can dual wield?"

"Yes, actually. It's deadlier." He charged once more at the girl, rapidly slashing with his fans, watching her panic and then grabs her arm at the precise moment. "AHA! Now that you're in my grasp, an execution will be simple, sweet, and easy!" He readied his free arm to assault her, but failed to take into account her white aura blinding him temporarily. "AAAH!"

"Varied Support! _Heart Lock Style_!" She lept back, and slapped his attacking arm. "FAN PARALYSIS!"

He clutched his stinging hand, feeling it numb up in an instant. "I can't move my arm." He grabbed both of his fans now in his still good hand. "Time for the ultimate!" The clouds below them started to turn black. "Ultimate Fist of the Sharp Wind!" Columns of air arose everywhere. "TENGU TORNADO COLUMNS!"

The plane arena was unintentionally flying into the attacks, continually damaging it, making it sink further. "Stop! You'll kill us both!"

"You know what? Quite frankly, I just don't care right now. I know I lost, to be truthful." He shifted himself, making use of his paralyzed limb as a makeshift shield. "Give me your final strike! Either you win, or we both lose!"

"THAT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE!" As he charged at her, she saw the nose of the plane sink under the clouds, so she had to act fast. "Varied Support! _Nose Hair Style_!" As chanted, nose hairs shot out of her nostrils, and wrapped themselves around him. "BEAUTY BRAND BOUNCER!" She slammed him into what was left of the wings, launching herself and Jack up soon after, watching the plane sink under the clouds. As the both were falling, in an uncharacteristic manner, she used him as a break, and as he collided into the ground, she bounced off him, landing onto the ground.

"Wow..." He weakly started. "I got served."

"Well, yeah, ya did." She looked up to the clouds, seeing that they were only a reach away. "WERE WE ONLY FOUR FEET FROM THE GROUND?"

"Yeah, I always did have a fear of flying, so I undertook my techniques, and molded myself to conquer my fear." He coughed off some brown fluid. "Sorry, that's the chocolate." Gross. "Miss Beauty, this is the first victory you've ever earned by yourself. Appreciate it."

"Mister Jack..."

"Beauty!" A familiar voice called in the distance.

Jack only chuckled weakly. "It appears that you have someone you care for. Take care of him... like I used to, for my beloved..." He closed his eyes, and in a bright flash of white lasting five seconds, a wisp took his place, and floated past the clouds.

"Beauty!" Gasser appeared behind the girl, who is now in tremendous shock. "Beauty, are you--" She gripped him tightly, holding back her every desire to cry and burst into tears at the thought of her first victory... and first murder. Unknown to this, Gasser just held her, with Poppa Rocks tugging on their pant legs, telling them to move on.

--

**Jelly Jiggler versus The Mighty Zig**

Still at the beachside, Jelly Jiggler was squaring off against the shell-incapacitated form of the evil check, The Mighty Zig. "Get ready, man!"

"You bet your buns I'm gonna get ready!" The evil check yelled, roaring out a sudden battlecry, when all of a sudden, a little hermit crab with a hobo stick and a peddler's bag walked up to him. He turned friendly to the crustacean. "What can I do you for?"

"WHAT AM I, DIET FRESCA?" Jelly was insulted.

"I am a crab with no name and no home," the little crab began. "I only wish for a stead to call my own. But I haven't the money to purchase one either..."

"You know what?" The Mighty Zig stated. "I am feeling most generous today, since I could not sell this nice shell either, so I am offering myself, to you, free of charge."

The little crab gasped. "You mean it? For honest and true?"

"Of course! So take me away, little crustacean! Take me away!"

Skittering in delight, the little crab went inside the hole printed in the check's front. He got himself straight, and started walking away, whistling in happiness. Although it was a humorous sight to see a little hermit crab taking off in a shell that's really a giant evil check, we all learned on that day, that he became the happiest little check in the world.

"WHAT ABOUT OUR FIGHT? GET BACK HERE!" Jelly raged, then looked disappointed, then started to cry. "I'm not **worthy** enough to fight?"

"Hey c'mon man, let's go!" Poppa Rocks called out to him. After that, the Jiggler shrugged from the match he won by default, and continued to walk with the nearly-reunited gang.

--

**Bo-bobo versus Gan-GaGan**

On the top of a skyscraper, the two afroed contenders were eying each other angrily... it was this match... that would decide... the one, the only... Go Fish champion of the world.

"Alright, I got me all the fours!" Bo-bobo smiled, putting his quartet aside. "Now, do you got any sixes?"

"Go fish!" His rocky 'fro counterpart said, as he watched Bo-bobo draw a card. "Do you have any sevens?" Bo-bobo slumped his shoulders and handed him all his sevens. "Excellent!" With no hand, he he took the last three cards of the deck. "NOW do you have any sixes?" Bo-bobo tossed him his six. "YES! I HAVE MORE SETS THAN YOU! I WIN!"

Bo-bobo threw the table ahead, making a big mess. "GOOD GAME! LET'S HAVE ANOTHER!"

Unfortunately, that action knocked Gan-GaGan off the side of the scraper, "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA--" crashing straight into the concrete. "Owies..."

The gang appeared from a wormhole, seeing the rocky golem's legs sticking out in a comical fashion. And then a tiny flying squirrel with shades and an afro flew down beside him. A cloud of smoke, and Bo-bobo appeared in place of the squirrel. "Wow! I didn't know Bo-bobo could shapeshift!" Gasser was amazed.

"Hey, thanks for the ride, Jim!" Bo-bobo handed a fifty to the little squirrel, with Gasser reacting behind him. "And now, Mr. Rock 'Fro, it's time for your judgment!"

He popped out of the cement, and braced a fighting stance. "And so, you will face, my Fist! To be specific, my Fist of the Rocky Hair!" Time passed, and passed, and passed... "... I don't have a Fist of the Rocky Hair..." He started to cry. "I WAS ONLY CREATED THREE HOURS AGO! I DIDN'T HAVE THE TIME TO BUILD THE HAJIKE WITHIN ME!"

"AND YOU TRIED TO BE THE BIG MAN?" Bo-bobo pulled a Beauty, as he put a hand on his shoulder. "Going around in this world with no techniques is a very dangerous thing to do. It weakens you, it leaves you unprotected, and it just makes you look, well, normal."

"He's got a point about that." Softon added.

"And so, I want you to believe!" Bo-bobo threw the rocky enemy a few kilometers away.

"Where am I?" The golem was confused, as he spotted a mountain in the distance, which bore a striking resemblance to-- "WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?"

"BELIEVE!" The Bo-bobo mountain said! "Fist of the Nose Hair! BO-BOBO AVALANCHE!" Rocks in the shape of fists were speeding their way towards him, pummeling him repeatedly. "DO YOU BELIEVE?"

"I BELIEVE YOU, OLD BO OF THE MOUNTAIN!" He screamed while getting clobbered by boulders. One rock that collided with him exploded, sending him high into the distance. "I promise... I will challenge you again when I earn my Fist..."

--

The Bo-boband of Seven were now back at the beach where it all started. "Well minna," Bo-bobo said. "It looks like we're gonna be sidetracked a little on our mission to save the world!"

"As usual?" Jelly remarked.

"Until we get off this island, we have to make it livable! So let's all do our best, minna!" Bo-bobo rallied.

--

How will Bo-bobo and friends survive on this deserted island?

How will (and would) Dengakuman get back to his friends?

And what about those who would meet at the place _where it all began_?

_A tiny forest village, where we see M sitting on a bench with his hobo-sack and stick. Suddenly, a wisp floated beside him, and the form of Cindy appeared._

_"That took ya a bit." M said._

_"Sorry I was a little late." Cindy sighed. "Astral Traffic was terrible."_

_"What do ya think happened with the others?" The letter asked._

_"Well..." Cindy said, and turned to the screen. "We'll find out next time!"_


	15. Slide rule 14

Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo: Video Crisis 

Disclaimer: I don't own this series, any series that makes a cameo, or the people who make Bo-bobo (if I could, I would make them animate this fic lol). I do, however, own this fic.

--

Looking up at the stars, Beauty was thinking to herself as Gasser climbed up the tree she was sitting on, and sat beside her.

"Still thinking about that Jack guy, Beauty?"

"Yeah... how could I have done that to him?" She turned her troubled gaze to him. "Gasser, I intentionally ended someone's life--" A letter suddenly fell flat on her face. "What the?"

"It says it's a letter from Jack."

"Jack?" Hurryingly, she opened the contents of the letter. "_Dearest Beauty_... did he have to start it like that?... _I was unaware that my defeat made you think that you killed me. Though you bested me, I am still very much alive. In fact, I am above you as we speak_--" She looked up at the now-okay Jack, waving from his wind chariot. "_But anyway, I only wish that when we meet in combat again, Beauty, that you give me a battle worthy of being as great as our previous encounter. Signed, Jack._" Looking up again, she saw him ride the wind to the night.

"Feeling better, Beauty?" The silver-haired boy ask, wrapping an arm around your shoulder.

"Hehe... as good as I'll ever be with Bo-bobo."

Both looked down to see Bo-bobo mumbling something. "Arachna power... is for sissies..."

"Aww... he's mumbling crap again."

--

No thanks to Dengakuman's help and absence,

"HEY!"

Our heroes took on, defeated, and made a mockery out of the Bald Empire Intarweb Corps' Yacht Masters. With the fall of three evil humans, a giant M, a massive check, a pathetic blob, and a golem with an afro and a technique complex, Bo-bobo and friends are now... uh... trapped on this island?

Man, the author should really fill this part out next time...

--

_"Humankind cannot wig out without losing some of their cool and seriousness. To perform Hajike (wigging out), something of equal Majide (seriousness) must be exchanged. That is the wigging specialist's only law, of Equivalent Exchange. To this day, Beauty and Gasser believe that to be the world's one, and only truth."_

"NO WE DON'T, BO-BOBO! SO STOP DOING THAT!" Beauty freaked out.

Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo: Video Crisis!

The Masked Island of Goons! WOW! I just LOVE the Mirages of Deceit!

--

"Well gang, it took a lot of ingenuity and effort, but we finally made it off the island!" Bo-bobo cheered.

"Bo-bobo..." Softon sighed. "We're still on the island."

The view pans out to show a sandy coastline, with the inland boasting palm trees, fruit bushes, wild potato boars, and baby carrot elephants. A fresh water lake, a nice waterfall, and Gasser, Beauty, Jelly, Poppa Rocks, and Hatenkou relaxing with a game of cards.

"I know." Bo-bobo said. "I just like saying that. I'm just in denial because WE'RE NEVER GONNA GET OFF THIS ISLAND! WE'RE TRAPPED LIKE RATS IN A BILGE WATER BAG!" The afroed hero started bawling on the water-touched sand. Popping back up, he mellowed out immensely. "Oh well! I can at least relax my eyes on those lovely ladies on the beach shore!"

They both turn to see a gaggle of ladies in bikinis of the one-piece and two-piece variety, as well as one adorable looking male teen. Softon's brow perked, before turning to Bo-bobo. "How'd they get here?"

"I don't really know, but all I know is that they're not only pleasing to the eye," Bo-bobo's mouth started to water at the sights. "But the ladies have nicely balanced levels of T&A! That's **Talent** and **Attitude**!" He pointed to one of them. "Ya see, the girl on the far left, I saw her work out for about six hours straight one time, so I'm assuming she's a professional trainer! And that girl, the second one from the right, she got mad at that bishonen-looking guy for taking her moisturizer, and she sidewindered him in the gut!"

"Wow..." Softon was at awe, as he joined Bo-bobo in ogling the ladies. He turned his head quickly, however, to eye Hatenkou waving at them and beckoning them over. "C'mon Bo-bobo, we have an issue here."

"Yeah, yeah, I'll subscribe to that magazine later..." The Bonafide hero was of course paying little attention to his soft-serve headed ally, as he continued to stare at the ladies.

A vein popping out of his forehead, Softon's fingers were glowing green. "Babylon Fist! BABYLON'S EAR PINCHER!" With the clamping force of five lobsters, he clenched onto Bo-bobo's ear tightly, and started to drag him away.

"OWIE OWIE OWIE OWIE! Stop being mean, Pa!" The afroed man was bawling as he was dragged away into the brush, not seeing the beach-enjoying people sigh in relief, and transform back to Leviathan-like humanoids, as they returned to the deeps. "WHATCHA DOIN'?"

"The others have discovered something on this island, Bo-bobo. So we have to catch up to them!"

Breaking free of his grasp, Bo-bobo became deadly serious. "Alright! Softon, stop wasting our time and let's go meet up with our friends!" The serious nature of this scene was then cut short as he started running fast and like a gimp. He made it overtop the peninsula and then fell off. "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!"

Softon only sighed at this. "Moron."

--

"What do you guys think this is?" Jelly asked, as the five companions looked up at the giant dome-like building.

"Well I'll tell you what _I_ think it is!" Poppa Rocks looked all concerned. "This might be a homeless shelter..."

"A homeless shelter?" Beauty asked.

"Yeah. You know, where fruits and veggies, with no homes or jobs or purposes, go to!" His tone was become sadly serious, as pictures of all sorts of fruits and vegetables were lining up for some hobo food. "While these consumables try their damnedest to get back on track with their lives, they have to come here, for at least a warm roof over their heads and square meals to boot."

"Yeah, you're overreacting too much." Beauty sighed. She saw a sign to her right, and took a closer look at it. "Bald Empire Compound: Masked Goon 1,000 Regime Building?"

"This island must actually be a stronghold for a squadron of these Bald Empire soldiers." Hatenkou mused. "But what does the 1,000 Regime mean? That there's a thousand minions waiting for us... or that there 1,000 different groups of varying thugs waiting inside?"

Gasser peered around the building. "We're gonna have to get in there using all of our knowledge of stealth and tactfulness."

"OR WE COULD JUST SAY 'HI, CAN WE COME IN'!" Bo-bobo spazzed loudly beside them.

Throwing a hand to his mouth, Beauty looked up. "Bo-bobo, shut up!"

"We have been waiting for you, heroes..." A lone voice said. "If you can take our thousand-fold might, then enter!"

The seven of them looked at each other as they saw the gates before them open. It didn't pull any of that 'anticipation-building slow-motion' hoo-diddly; it was fast and straight to the point, as the seven party members jetted inside the grassy field inside. As anticipated, surrounding them were waves after waves of Bald Empire grunts. While in appearance, they all looked exactly the same, they all wore masks that only covered their eyes. Like Tuxedo Mask eyes, they were.

"Welcome to the Bald Empire Compound's Masked Goon 1,000 Regime Building!" One of them spoke up. "We may all look like plain and drab Bald Empire soldiers, but under our masks, we are beings who are all powerful and all fearsome! And so, I say to my fellow comrades..." He pointed to them. "ATTACK!"

And true to that goon's word, the thousand began their assault, smothering the seven of them with ease. However, with Bo-bobo's mighty and loud battlecry, his friends became supercharged, while the foes were knocked back. Gasser with gas, Beauty with her fan, Hatenkou with his key, Softon with his fists, Poppa Rocks and Jelly Jiggler with their style, and Bo-bobo with his nonsense and nose hair, were overwhelming the goons, unmasking some in the process!

Beauty pulled off one of the soldier's mask, to see the body coming apart at the seams and reveal... "I found a mean little bird!" The tiny little blue jay was then smacked by Beauty's harisen.

"I got an angry toaster!" Gasser unmasked the appliance, and knocked it away with a gas beam.

"I got a vile Tofu Agent!" Jelly Jiggler raged, as the living jelly noodle proceeded to rapid-punch the tofu-headed man into oblivion.

The non-afroed blond unmasked his current thug, and then proceeded to run. "WHY'D I GET AN _ELEPHANT_?"

"HOW'D AN ELEPHANT FIT INSIDE THAT SUIT?" The sole female reacted as she saw Hatenkou lock the elephant's heart.

"I found a Sorcerous Lich!" Bo-bobo giddily pointed out.

"DEATH TO THE LIVING!"

"Why can't you be alive?" Infuriated, the afro man gave a mighty powerful backhand to the undead's bony jaw.

And it pretty much continued like that, unmasking and powerfully crippling swarms of enemies, ranging from woodland creatures and marine life, to appliances and computers, to fruits and veggies (much to the horror of Poppa Rocks for finding out that these people were resorting to henching), to physical manifestations of feelings (Gloom seemed surprisingly optimistic), and even demons, undead, and people.

Knocking down the last corrupt potter and lesser demon, everyone sighed a breath of relief, when all of a sudden, a practitioner of the 'Slow Clap' broke the silence. The gang turned their eyes to another masked Bald Empire goon.

Snapping his fingers, Poppa Rocks, while dressed in gangster's garbs, walked ever closer to the masked goon. "What's ya problem? Ya think you're a big boy? You think you're the hotness around here? Well when we smash up the face of goon #1,000 you're gonna wish you was sleepin' with da fishes!"

"Don't toy with me." The calm member said as he booted the orange candy aside, like an American football over the touchdown post. "Six points for me, and none for you."

"WOW! A KICK GOAL! THAT'S SO COOL!" And from over-hyped fan, to serious, Hatenkou pointed his key at the goon. "Who do you think you're messing with?"

"Relax yourselves. I am not a member of the Bald Empire. I only appear as this to better obtain information from these thugs about the plans of the Bald Empire's Intarweb Corps. Would you like to listen to what I found out?"

"OOH! Story time!" Dressed up like little kids, Bo-bobo, Poppa, and Jelly all sat around this mystery man, like he was a teacher getting ready to perform 'story time' to a kindergarten class. "Will there be duckies and bunnies?"

"Only if you want them to be there..." He sighed, confirming that this WAS the true Bo-bobo. "Anyway, as you all SHOULD know, Lady Marmalada Jiggler, the 'leader' of the Intarweb Corps is actually just a manipulated figurehead."

"She's what?" Jelly stood in shock.

"I bet you must be Jelly Jiggler. Anyway, there is an even greater force who's manipulating that poor, ravishing beauty. And that vile force is searching for the item that will bring him the power of immense destruction: the embodiment of the world-devouring snake's power."

"**Midgardsomr**..." Softon spoke up. "He's that snake of Norse mythology whom all the gods defeated in order to prevent him from devouring Asgard and the world."

"Exactly, pink poop-headed man."

"Poop-head?" The soft-served man was rightly confused.

"And the only way to stop this evil being, is to reach the embodiment of Midgardsomr's power before the Bald Empire does!"

"Will you tell us?" Poppa Rocks, still acting like a little boy, asked in earnest.

"Best me in combat, and I will gladly reveal to you its location!"

"I'm almost afraid to ask..." Beauty dared, as she approached the person. "But how do you know so much about this mythological being?"

"MYTHOLOGICAL?" He was in surprise. "I'll show you what is mythological!"

Pulling off his simple mask, a collosal slithering body pulled itself out of the goon cocoon. The being appeared to be a giant, slithering length of serpentine scales, with fully dextrous arms and hands, and calcified spikes protruding out the back of his head. At a hundred feet tall, Bo-bobo and the others were mighty small compared to this giant snake. He roared in confidence!

"Wow... that there's a big fella!" Bo-bobo quipped.

"So that's how he knows so much about this snake!" Gasser prepared himself.

"That'ssss right..." His voice now poisoned with a serpentine lisp, he lowered his head to the other seven. "I know everything about the world-devouring ssssnake, because I AM the world-devouring sssnake..." The gang were entering their fighting stances in best preparationto battle, "...'s younger brother, Edgardsomr!"

From that, everyone just slumped and stared in disappointment... Beauty stepped closer, and patted the giant snake's maw. "Aww... poor thing..."

"You too sssshare my blight?" He sighed. "I too think that name is stupid! I mean, I even asssked my mama why she called me that, and she ssssaid to me, 'you wanna go and change yo name, yo wait till yo 18!' And I'm still disssappointed..." He ranted on, feeling the stares continue to pierce his scaly hide. "Yes, I'm still underage." He gazed at Beauty hungrily, and acted all sultry. "Hey baby. Wanna get some ice cream? My treat!"

Picturing herself sitting on the snout of this giant thing, eating soft sweet treats, didn't exactly appeal to her as a whole. "Uh... Tempting, but I already have someone, so I'll have to pass."

"Really?" Both Bo-bobo and Edgardsomr said in surprise. Bo-bobo however stepped closer. "Wow! Beauty, I have to meetyour interest sometime! Is he someone I know?" He never realized Gasser's glare behind him.

"That'ssss alright, I can ressspect that." Slithering his upper body back towards the ceiling, he hissed loudly. "And now, if you want to know the ssssecret of Midgardsomr's power, then take me on in combat, Bo-bobo!"

--

"Alright! Here I go!" Bo-bobo charged himself up with energy, and death-defyingly lept towards the maw of the mighty Edgardsomr. "Face my pre-emptive strike!"

"Fool! BRING IT ON!" He taunted, but his logic went out the door when Bo-bobo's afro flipped open. "WHAT DUR?"

"Presenting the Preemptive Strike Kabuki Theater Show!" Tiny white spotlights shine down on a miniaturized kabuki actress on the stage that is Bo-bobo.

The beast hissed in pain. "NOOOOO! I LOVE Kabuki showssss!"

"THAT'S SOME KIND OF INTEREST THERE!" Beauty reacted.

The giant snake was laying down on his belly, supporting his head on his arms as he gazed at the show. "Ssssuch fluid grace and beauty! It'ssss like poetry in motion! You have to appreciate art in order to undersssstand the flawless perfection that is--" The kabuki actress twirled, and fired a massive laser from her palms, searing the snake in the face, who reeled back in owies. "OOOOWWWWW! Desssecrating my favored theatre style... IT'S ON NOW!"

"Then here it comes!" Bo-bobo charged again, only to be unfavored by the beast's uppercut, knocking him through the ceiling.

"Pathetic..." He reached his agile arm into the air, and pulled down a pickle chipped Bo-bobo, and licked his chops with his snaky tongue. "Now... World-Devouring Technique!" His other arm reaches over... for a giant bowl filled with lettuce, peppers, bacon, croutons, and tomatoes that should NOT be his size. He drops the pickled Bo in, adds ranch dressing, pulls out a pair of tongs, and starts mixing the giant salad, while expertly whistling a tune.

"HOLY...!" Jelly pulled his take on Beauty, complete with a pink wig and red/white shirt. "CHECK OUT THE SIZE OF THAT SALAD BOWL!"

"I'D NEVER BE SURPRISED ABOUT THAT!" The girl panicked.

The snake finally displayed his finished product. "HEALTHY RANCH SALAD! With a Bo-pickle Garnish."

"That pickle's bad for your health, and he'll snitch on your pancreas!"

"WHAT?" Edgardsomr turned around, to see the golden-shining corpus of Bo-bobo re-entering the compound through the gates. "HOW ARE YOU IN TWO PLACESSS AT ONCE?"

"The pickle you're about to eat is actually my good friend and scapegoat, Pickles!"

"At least I'm mentioned for once." The yellow pickle chip was carefully optimistic.

"... I just remembered, I hate pickles." The serpentine being grabbed Pickles, and launched him high, high, HIGH into the air, never to be seen again. "No matter. I'll ssstill revitalize my energy by devouring my salad!" He dug in, chewing and gulping it down in one go. "That'ssss right! Unlike other snake-like beings, I revel in having extra teeth to chew my food!"

Flying up magically, Poppa Rocks looked at him with childish amazement. "May I see them?"

"You certainly may!" Edgardsomr opened his maw wide, showing off his array of pearly white teeth!

"WOW! You take good care of those babies, don'tcha, Mr. World snake?" He pulled out a giant set of pliers, and yanked one out.

"YEEEEEEOOOOOOOOWW!" Clutching his jaw in anguish, he spun around in circles a few times, whimpering. "You little punk!" A mighty fist grounded the orange candy in no time flat.

"Poppa! Are you okay?" Beauty walked up to the injured candy.

He rested his hand on the pink-haired's shoulder. "Beauty... only you will be able to stop that monster. Just remember this..." He stared into Beauty's eyes. "Beauty Pilot... activate... the Phonomezer countdown." With that, his hand fell off her shoulder, and his face collapsed to the ground.

"POPPA ROCKS!" She screamed at the sight of her fallen friend, until another thought came through to her head. "WAIT... **WHAT?**"

"Activating the Phonomezer countdown!" The pilot inside her said.

"I HEAR THAT VOICE AGAIN--" Before she could finish that thought, she collapsed to her knees, of which a monotone voice not belonging to hers spoke out. "_Five minutes before Phonomezer Breaker activates_."

"Oh I will NOT give you that chance!" The hulking monster slithered super fast towards her defenseless frame. However, Bo-bobo appeared as a giant speed bump, sending the beast flying! "WHOOOOOOAAAAAAA!"

"You were fifty over the speed limit!" Jelly Jiggler flew up, and stamped a ticket on the serpent's nostril.

"And now," As the falling beast was hurtling towards Softon, his green aura was now wrapping themselves around his finger. "FUJI... HAWK... EGGPLANT... POWER!" His finger miraculously halted the falling form of Edgardsomr by the forehead. "May you face the Goddess's judgment."

"WHAT?" Suddenly, he and Softon were enveloped in black. The snake struggled around, thrashing his arms and tail around. "Where... AM I?"

"Watch your impatience." The soft-serve head finally appeared before him. "You are standing before the mighty goddess Babble-On."

The darkness cleared to reveal a multi-armed colossus that was about Edgardsomr's height. Even with Softon's raised brow at the sight of the goddess being even shorter than the sibling of the world devouring snake, he was confident that this deity would give him the comeuppance he deserves.

"Wow..." The snake was in awe. "Hey there, baby. You're looking fine." He flirted.

Seeing the jade-colored goddess statue blush in light-hearted fancy, caused Softon to also pull a Beauty. "T-THE GODDESS ACTUALLY ACCEPTED THAT?"

"Well, I do have my way with women, soft man." He slithered a little closer. "What sssay I give us a fun night out on the town, and then we head back to your place?" He winked slyly.

A white aura surrounded the goddess. "She wants to know that if you're going to do what she thinks you're going to do to her at the end of the night, will you call back the next day?"

"Well, I'd have to contemplate on how well our date would go..." The snake started pondering, without even noticing the slowly burning hot anger of the goddess statue before him. "If she's as hot on the inside as she is on the outside, then, if we had a fun time the day before, then I might call back before... WHAT THE!"

"That was a fatal mistake, Edgardsomr. The goddess only opens herself up to another on the 10th date. By neglecting the fact that you SHOULD call her back the next day, you have failed the Babylon Trial. Now face her judgment!" The statue started crackling and breaking free of its stony prison. The many, many arms of the goddess Babble-On were becoming enchanted with the elements of fire, water, earth, wind, light, and darkness. "Babylon Fist! BABYLON PURGE PUMMEL!"

The brother of the world-devouring snake began to get swarmed by an onslaught of elementally-charged punches, leaving his body charred, frostbitten, gusted, pounded, and covered with bright and shaded flashes to his eyes, as the goddess mercilessly finished off the giant beast with a massive knee to the not-so-nice area. The technique vanished, as Softon and Edgardsomr returned to the battlefield.

"May this land be purged of evil." Softon muttered, as the snake dramatically fell to the ground.

"Don't..." the snake struggled to get himself back up. "you dare call me evil... I am not on the ssside of those who wish to use my brother'sss powers for their twisted ends. I fight you, only to ssssee if you have what it takes to halt my brother's power!"

"Impossible... how could you have survived Babble-On's attack?"

"My brother was a being, although not a god, who is alssso immortal. So of course, as his blood relation, I too share that trait!" He turned to Beauty, who was beginning to shine a white aura. He charged once more at the girl. "But I will not let you have that skill come to fruition!"

"_3... 2... 1..._" A white gust knocked everyone back, halting the snake's charge. Her standard clothes were undergoing a magical girl transformation, as her chest, stomach, and hips were becoming encase with white armor, and her arms and legs were clothed in a white metal, making her look like a battle android. "_Countdown complete... initiate technique..._"

"Wait, BEA-UTY!" Poppa Rocks, wearing a yellow top, heels, a brown wig with a braid, and glasses with green girl contacts. "Let us get some distance away from you first!"

"What does THAT mean?" Jelly panicked.

Hatenkou shrugged. "We're stealing ideas from Namco?"

"_Varied Combat Fist..._" She held her hands out, as massive satellite dishes popped out of her wrists and stocking-covered thighs. "_PHONOMEZER BREAKER!_" Devastatingly powerful soundwaves were pumping themselves out of dishes from Beauty's arms and legs, bringing everyone to their knees, clamping their ears in defense. The compound was literally shaking apart, as everyone, even Edgardsomr, had to search for some cover.

"AAAAAHHH! I FEEL LIKE I'M BREAKING APART!" Jelly screamed in pain, as he felt his whole jelly body vibrate all the way down to a lychee-flavored pile.

"THAT'S BITCHIN'!" Bo-bobo giddyed while covering his ears.

"Wait a minute." The snake thought inwardly to himself. "I'm a sssnake. We pick up sounds with our tongues. Ssso I am relatively safe from this--"

"NO INWARD NARRATION!" The afroed blond kicked the other blond like a powerful soccer player, hurtling him into the snake beast's chest.

Gasping in pain, his jaw dropped when he realized his tongue was now out, picking up the full Beauty Phonomezer treatment. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH! STOP! MAKE IT SSSSTOP!"

"WE WOULD IF WE COULD!" The candy yelled, as his disguise came off his frame, exploding on impact.

Finally, Beauty's attack died down, making her collapse on the grassy green ground. "BEAUTY!" Gasser ran to her side, as he saw her eyes twitch open. "Beauty, are you alright?"

"_Gass_er...?" Her voice returning to normal, she held him close. "What just happened to me--What the?" She took a quick look at her hands, legs, and body, and took the reaction to her wearing white robotic armor, and not her regular clothes, the only way she could. "WHICH ONE OF YOU **PERVERTS** DRESSED ME UP LIKE THIS?"

"Hey! Don't look at us!" Poppa defended all the guys in the room. "You blanked out, did a countdown, transformed into that look all on your own, AND nearly killed us all to boot! So DON'T BLAME US, YOU CRAZY GIRL!"

An echoing laughter roared through the studio as the gang saw the giant beast Edgardsomr's skin crack and then come apart, disappearing in a flash of blue. His prismatic scales dripped with morning glory dew, as he turned his body to the others.

"Hmm... you are worthy of sssstopping that power, if you managed to make me resort to ssshedding my old battle-hardened skin. It was weighing me down before. So now, you ssseven fools will face my unleashed and untamed ssstrength and ssspeed. World Devouring Technique!" As quick as his word, all of them were swept off their feet by the serpent's speedily improved tail, knocking them high up to meet the beast faces-to-face. His copper eyes glowed an electric blue, as energies spewed out of fingertips and zapped them. "I'll show you your powerlessness!"

With nothing to hide themselves, the gang took to bracing the attacks. Gasser sheltered himself in front of the girl, clutching her body tightly, as she did the same.

"SERPENTARIUS... **JUDGMENT!**"

A white laser blasted down from the heavens and covered our heroes in a blinding white light.

--

Is this really how it ends?

Will the Bald Empire win over the forces of good?

Will all our hopes be pinned on Dengakuman?

And will we ever see a Somr family reunion?

"Not bloody likely..." Slithering onto the screen, Edgardsomr says "Tune in next time!"


	16. Rounding up 15

Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo: Video Crisis 

Disclaimer: I don't own this series, any series that makes a cameo, or the people who make Bo-bobo (if I could, I would make them animate this fic lol). I do, however, own this fic.

--

"And now, for when the sssssmoke settles, I will gaze upon my fallen--WHAT?!"

On the ground, we see Beauty, getting up weakly, looking around. She was now back in her regular clothes, shocked at her surroundings. "I... I'm still standing?" She was panicking, desperately looking around. "But where's Bo-bobo and the others?"

"Beauty! Beauty!"

Her ears picked up Gasser's voice, as she turned around... and saw that Gasser, Poppa Rocks, Hatenkou, and Jelly Jiggler were all shrunk down to kid-size! "WHHHHAAAAAAAA?!"

"Beauty onee-san, Beauty onee-san, pick me up!" The kid Gasser begged, tugging at her pants leg.

"WHAT? HOW ARE THEY SSSSSTILL ALIVE?" Edgardsomr roared in confusion.

"WAAAAA!" Poppa started to cry, tossing a giant lollipop at the colossal-sized snake, knocking him upside the head and unconscious! "Snakey man scareded me!"

"THIS IS NOT HAPPENING!" Beauty panicked.

"I'm afraid," Softon appeared behind Beauty, unaffected by the attack's after-effects. "this is their judgment for being, well, themselves."

Her pink-haired frame looked around quickly. "But where's Bo-bobo?"

"Why Beauty, I'm right here!"

Dreading what kind of nightmare child form he'd take, she looked upon... the Bo-bobus, a standard issue blue schoolbus with Bo-bobo's face on the front. "C'mon kiddies! Time for the field trip!"

"FIELD TRIP?"

--

_"Hajike... The pursuit of insanity... The sacrifice of logic, of maturity, of seriousness... Beauty, Gasser, Poppa Rocks... you searched for it... and now, you found it..."_

"BO-BOBO! ENOUGH WITH THAT INTRO!"

Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo: Video Crisis

Slithering Revelation! Phase out for Cookies and Milk?

--

Beauty and Softon were merely weirded out, as they were riding inside the Bo-bobus along with kiddied versions of Jelly, Poppa Rocks, Hatenkou (who were bouncing on the seats), and Gasser (who was the only one who didn't want to be a little kid). Driving on the grassy knoll, they were certainly taking in the sights... of the stadium they were still in. The Bo-bobus parked itself in front of the unconscious mass of Edgardsomr, beeping happily.

"Okay kids, here we are! The World Snake Park and Super Slide!"

"OUR ENEMY IS NOT A TOURIST ATTRACTION!" Beauty wigged out.

"But..." Hatenkou's eyes were welling up. "I-I-I WANNA SEE THE BIGGIE SNAKEY!"

The kid candy walked up to Hatenkou, patting his shoulder. "Don't worwy. We'll see the Biggie Snakey together!"

"YAY!"

"THEY RESOLVED IT FAST!" The sole girl in the area was exasperated, then saw kid Jelly holding a pocket mirror. "NARCISSIST JELLY _AGAIN_?"

"Don't you wish your teddy bear was HOT, like, me?" Jelly mused to his reflection, flicking the lychee-flavored strand of 'hair' in front of his face.

Softon's hand planted itself on Beauty's shoulder. "Don't worry Beauty... We'll free them of this eventually. Just sit along for the ride." He looked down to see Gasser walking shyly to Beauty, holding her hand. "And besides, you got company."

"Thank you, big brother." The girl nodded, and squeezed her little Gasser's hand tight.

"Welcome, children and guardians!" The Bo-bobus disappeared, and Bo-bobo appeared as a tour guide lady. "Welcome to the World Snake Park And Super Slide!" He stopped, anticipating a comment from Beauty, but fortunately enough, she didn't give one. "Odd... ANYWHO, we begin at the front of the beastie's maw, to learn about this mighty lizard of beyond!"

Poppa Rocks shot his arm up fast! "OW! I LOST MY ARM!" Beauty turned around fast, but then saw the little candy holding a fake arm. "Nevermind I founds it."

"You scareded me for a moment, Rocksy-chan!" Little Hatenkou chirped.

"You were gonna ask a question?" Bo-bobo asked.

Poppa Rocks pulled out a podium and stood on it. He cleared his throat, as he childishly set his sheets, done in scribbles. "THIS ISN'T A SPEECH!" Beauty reacted.

"May we bweak for lunch?" The candy asked, as a sudden audience applauded. Beauty just sighed.

"We certainly may!" Beauty face-faulted from the Bo-bobo tour guide's response.

"We didn't even start yet!" The pink-haired complained.

But amidst her complaint, a picnic spread was laid out before her: goodies, treats, and Bo-bobo uppercutting a kodiak before it could even lay a hand on his sandwich. She looked down, away from the afro hero shooing away the beast, and saw Gasser with a big box lunch.

"So much?"

"I-I didn't want to ask for a lot..." Gasser mused. "But the lunch lady saw how short I was and she said that I needed to eat more..."

A random old lady appeared out of left field. "HE'S JUST TOO SMALL!"

"Wanna share with me, Beauty onee-san?" Gasser asked cutely.

She giggled at this childishness. "Of course."

"OKAY, LUNCH TIME'S OVER!" Bo-bobo resumed his tour guidess mode, picked up the picnic, and throttled it on the poor old lady! "She had it coming, because she wasn't wearing EYE LINER!"

--

"How are you feelin', P?" Arn D. Stumpgrinder, bandaged up from his encounter with the heroes, asked his hospitalized but steadily getting better teammate.

"P feeling better now!" The muscled P sat up, and flexed his muscles. "When I see Bo-bobo and friend(s), I beat them good and grind their bones into concentrated fruit powder!"

"A little bit overkill, wouldn't you say?" The echo of Datastomper Epaulet, also known as Sidney, emanated from the armet as Shadow Spy Balder McBaldington, a.k.a. Larry-kun, was welding the more important parts of the armor back into place. "HEEHEHEHEHOOOHOOHOO that tickles!"

"Stop squirming!" Larry-kun sighed, as he finally planted the armet back onto the rest of the body. "Besides, this'll give us some time to strategize."

"Huh?" P looked at the well Shadow Spy. "How we strategize?"

"Quite simple, main man." Arn pointed out. "All we gotta do to beat them, is to THINK like them, ACT like them, and FIGHT like them."

"I follow exactly what you are attempting to explain!" Sidney nodded.

"Exactly! Let me try something..." Arn looked at P's massive arm hair, and yanks off a small bushel.

"OWW!" P screamed, clutching the now smooth patch of skin on his arm. "THAT HURT, ARN! ME ROCK YOUR **FACE**!" He quickly launched a powerful jab on the suave guy's face.

Collapsing on the floor, he got himself back up, albeit with a bloody nose. "You see, _dhat_ would be an example."

"Oh!" Larry chimed in. "It ALL makes sense now! They do stupid things ON PURPOSE to lower our guard, and take us out when we least suspect it!"

"While they have used that a good number of times," Sidney said next. "Not all of them use that strategy. Especially the two younger humans on their team."

"Oh... P get what Arn saying! We need to distract THEM, so WE can punch them!"

"Now you're thinkin' the suave path, P my man!"

"Very well! Let us begin strategizing!"

--

"And now, here we are, at the park's main attraction!" The tour somehow made its way onto the undermaw of the unconscious Edgardsomr. "World Snake Super Slide! Here, our visitors will get to slide down the Scaly Underbelly! It's about 5 minutes long!"

"I wanna ride! I wanna ride!" Poppa Rocks grabbed Hatenkou's and Jelly's hands, and they started to bumpily ride down the unconscious snake's neck... while using Jelly as a boogie board.

Their _'oomphs'_, _'owies'_, _'whees'_, _'WHY ARE YOU HURTING MY FACE ON PURPOSE?'_, and _'I'm stuck in one of its folds'_ met the ears of Softon, Beauty, and Gasser. The soft-serve headed older brother let Beauty go ahead of him, as she held onto little Gasser tight, and she took her turn to slide down the snake belly.

"Ah... to be young again." Softon mused, then looked back at the Bo-bobo tour guidess, who appeared to be losing to a raccoon, a tiny ball of living static, and a funny-looking fishman who kept going 'MRRRRGGGHHRRRGHRGHRGHRGHH' in poker. He turned back, and soon slid down the 'slide'.

It started off on the bumpy neck and stomach, then it went through many winding loop-de-loops on the three minute long segment of his smooth, scaly tail. Poor little Jelly kept getting face-ache throughout the sliding, but Poppa and Hatenkou didn't seem to mind!

At the end of the 'ride', as they slid onto the soft grass turf, acting all giddy (even Jelly chose to ignore his hideous facial scratches, and kept laughing along with the gang) and carefree. All of a sudden, a shining light shone behind them.

"What's that, Beauty onee-san?" The little Gasser tugged at the temporarily older girl's arm.

"We have completed the judgment." Everyone turned around, seeing both the Bo-bobo tour guidess AND the Bo-bobus, side by side. They soon started glowing white, as one Bo-bobo glomped the other. "We can soon be free!"

A shining beacon of white light enveloped the area, and everyone was now returned to their normal states. As the magnificent light was dissipating--"OW! MY BEAUTIFUL, JEL-TASTIC EYES!"--our triumphant hero makes his startling return! "I'M STILL KICKING MY LEGS OUT ON THE FLOOR!"

"HE MEANT ME, JELLY!" The great someone who grabbed Jelly Jiggler, and kneed him in the gut before tossing him aside like a Starburst wrapper on a windy day, was none other than our Bo-bobo, whole as... well, as he usually is! "Now, let's teach that snake a lesson!"

"YEAH!" Everyone cheered. Beauty stood out however. "Wait a minute, he's still knocked out!"

"Fist of the Unified Nose Hair!" He was gathering everyone's energy yet again with this daring fist of unified skill! This time, he shot the energy upwards, phasing the ceiling out of reality with ease. "BO-BOBO'S VERDICT: SUPER GUAVA MANGO..." The grass was now taking a picture of our flashing a trademark grin and thumbs-up. "**JUDGMENT!**"

A gooey mess of guava and mango puree fell from the heavens, pouring itself on the giant snake, suddenly coming back to consciousness, thrashing violently against the dripping fruit juices. The beast starting shining himself, and covered the entire stadium in an explosion of fruity flavors.

"THIS ISN'T A FRUIT JUICE COMMERCIAL!" Poppa Rocks over-reacted.

"Ooohh... Ow... Where am I...?" The slithering form of Edgardsomr wriggled out of the concentrated slush, looking at his opponents who were now staring wide-eyed at him. "What? What's wrong? You think by sssseeing one world-devouring sssssnake, you've seen them all. Hey... How'd you all get so closer?"

"Here!" Poppa handed the world devouring snake a hand-mirror.

Clenching it, he took a look at himself, then looked in the mirror. "NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I've been sssshrunk down! This cannot be! HOW can I be a world devouring sssnake if I'm only--" Edgardsomr looked down at himself. "_Five foot ten?!_ I'm not even breaking the six foot barrier!"

"STOP OVER REACTING!" Bo-bobo clubbed Edgardsomr in the face with some of the grass turf, and then again with Hatenkou. "Take advantage of this disadvantage, and fight to your fullest!"

"OW! DAMMIT Bo-bobo, that really hurts!" Hatenkou raged.

"Very well! Even with my powers completely nullified, I'll SSSTILL defeat you all! Now, take this!" Edgardsomr huffed his chest. "World-Devouring Technique! ACID SPIT GUN!" He hocked volley after volley of acidic venom, which our heroes promptly dodged.

Jelly, however, was nicked by it, but instead of having his body melted off per usual, it got drawn into his noodle-y body. "Hey! I have poison resistances! Alright, you thug! It's time to--" He collapsed by the poison.

"MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Toy with me, and you'll ssssuffer THIS attack! World-Devouring Technique!" Fangs now bared, he lunged at our afroed hero! "TOXIC HICKEY!"

"BO-BOBO!"

The sounds of fangs gnashing into... steel?

A knocked back cry of pain, as Edgardsomr clutches his maw. "OW! WHAT GIVES!?"

Bo-bobo appeared in front of him, with a silhouetted figure behind him. "My friend, you just bit into the impenetrable neck of the elusive Metalneck Mongoose!" The spotlight shined on an angry-looking mongoose, wearing a giant metal neck gorget armor.

"... You've GOT to be kidding me--"

"MONGOOSE SHINE COUNTER!" Bo-bobo grabbed the poor little animal, and used it as a blunt weapon on the world devouring snake's brother, fwapping him a good few times!

"STOP ABUSING THE ANIMALS!" Beauty reacted.

"I... will not... end here...!" The snake hissed in desperation.

"Oh, I think you will, buddy." Jelly Jiggler stood up, now bathed in his standard purple aura, with the inclusion that now his hands were glowing green. "Thanks to that neat poison you gave me, along with my lychee-flavored composition, my desperation move will be all I need to bring you to your knees!"

"Weird..." Gasser's first normal line came out. "Jelly's actually... intimidating."

"Ultimate Shakey Shake Fist!" He lunged forward, and lashed his arms out. "DAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMU--" Jelly unleashed wave after wave of repeated punches, pummeling into the world beast.

"What..." He was having problems focusing on defending the shots, as the jelly noodle's attacks were weakening him. "He's altering my venom... Can't sssstay... sssstanding..."

"DAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMUDAMU--It's not over yet!" He lept up into the air, smirking wickedly at the stunned snake, before turning into a giant Nu-kanji symbol, finally crushing Edgardsomr under his might! "JELLY'S... WACKY... TRIP!" He broke apart into six pieces, before recompiling himself. "Wow... that was one crazy trip--"

"Jell_LLYYYYYYY_!" Bo-bobo acted all... Bo-bobo, spin-kicking Jelly aside. All serious again, he walked over to the defeated Edgardsomr. "Will you tell us now, the location of Midgardsomr's power?"

"I..." Now the snake had another reason to groan in depression. "Ooohh... When I got dousssed by that guava-mango torrent, it made me forget its exact location... ... I apologize--"

"Oh no!"

"However--let me finish--all I DO remember is an ancient temple in the center of this world... a couple and keys... and the color purple..."

"The color _purple_?" Beauty and Gasser were confused.

"Don't you worry." Bo-bobo reminded the bested snake man. "We'll be sure to stop the Bald Empire from taking your brother's power."

"I'd rather you'd destroy Midgardsomr's power. I hate that jerk. But, at all cossssts... You must ssstop them... Now..." He was fading away. "I will seal myself back to my domain. I will rest until we meet again, at the temple of my brother..." With one last tongue flick, he disappeared.

"Alright minna," Our Bo-nafied hero motivated. "As soon as we find a way off this island, we'll start heading to this temple, and stop the Bald Empire for good!"

"Bo-bobo," Beauty raised a point. "HOW are we gonna--"

Poppa Rocks appeared out of nowhere, with Softon beside him, as he dangled some shiny keys. "While you guys were being boring, I found a sweet speedboat that we can use to head back to the mainland!"

Beauty bulged her eyes out. "YOU MISSED OUT ON IMPORTANT STORYLINE!!"

"Then let's ride, minna!"

--

"Okay... let's try this again..." Sidney became extremely agitated, almost to the point where he would throw his fake orange Poppa Rocks points off his armet. "I shall say something like, 'I am SO getting motivated'."

Arn, with a grey mop on his head while impersonating Gasser, and Larry-kun impersonating Beauty with pink sparklers, we're trying to match their moods. "THAT'S NOT EVEN IN THE RIGHT CONTEXT!"

P had a large yellow football helmet on his head. Guess who he's impersonating. "Then I wait for 'Jelly' to come in--"

Lo and behold, the great Lady Marmalada Jiggler makes an appearance. "Recovering nicely, gentlemen?" She was not involved with this, nor did she not aforemention seeing...

"Then P say 'YOU EXAGGERATE TOO MUCH!' and rock 'Jelly' in face!" P driving his fist into her soft, squishy face. Arn, Larry-kun, and Sidney were in utmost shock and horror. Almost immediately, realization sank in. "Uh oh... P just punch Lady Marmalada, didn't P?" He carefully pulled his fist out of her wobbly face, leaving only one HELL of a raging leader in its place.

"**WATCH THE FACE YOU INFANTILE MORONS!**"

--

Will Bo-bobo and friends make it to the next area?

Will Poppa Rocks and Hatenkou stop raiding the mini-fridge?

Will Beauty and Gasser get another bonding bit in the upcoming chapters to come?

And will the--BOOM!

"Ow... P in major pain... But we wait until next time..."


	17. Quantum 16

Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo: Video Crisis 

Disclaimer: I don't own this series, any series that makes a cameo, or the people who make Bo-bobo (if I could, I would make them animate this fic lol). I do, however, own this fic.

--

Poppa Rocks was enjoying the sound of the tidal surf... being chopped up by the speeding boat making its way back to the mainland! "WHEEEEEEE!"

A frail old man with a LONG beard suddenly shot out of the water. "I'm the Old Man of the Sea, and I think you should--" Before he could finish his sentence, the boat that was commandeered by Bo-bobo and allies plowed right over the bearded old sea hermit.

"Wow! We totally mowed down that defenseless old man!" Jelly was impressed, and pulled out a tiny book. "I'm jotting down a hundred points in my book! Another three hundred, and I'll get a free cupcake!"

"YOU PREFER BAKED GOODS OVER YOUR SENSE OF DUTY?!"

Before Beauty could even contemplate what was going on, the sea was being parted at near Mach 1 speeds, with the pitter-patter of the exaggerated feet of the Old Man of the Sea, immediately keeping up with the boat. "HOLY MAN!" Hatenkou was more amazed than panicked. "His feet must be solid water!"

"Old Man Fist of the Sea!" With that the waters started swirling around him. "TIDAL HARD... **LAUNCH**!"

And like a springboard being pushed down by a determined rodent, the very ocean shot the boat high into the horizon, duly noting Beauty's complaint that "That's what happens when you mow down random peoplllllllle..."

With a meditated calm, the mysterious miser nodded in tranquil. "No one MESSES with the Old Man of the Sea..." A sea serpent defied this, however, and was greeted with the swift backhand of the old man.

--

Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo: Video Crisis

Yum-Yum Crisis 2: What's with the Sorries?!

--

"I'm sorry, everyone, but I must return to my friends!"

Dengakuman announced, as his tiny suitcase was tiny packed, with tiny treats, and a tiny vanity. All around him, the people in the station that he worked with for the amount of time he was sent flying from the Seven Yacht Masters fight, were seeing him off. A final goodbye before he would return to the data world to aid his comrade Bo-bobo in battle against the Bald Empire.

"You all have been very kind to me!" Dengakuman had to keep himself composed enough not to burst into tears. "And I'll never forget the way you encouraged me when I scrubbed the toilets, massaged your brains, cleaned your satellites, and force-fed grilled tofu dipped in miso on a stick!"

"I'll say!" Said a random guy with three tofu sticks in his mouth.

"But I must return to aid my comrade and pal Bo-bobo!"

"FOOL!" One of them stepped forward, with a long braid and fluffy moustache. "You dare leave the station without saying goodbye to _ROYAL EUROPE_??" Dengakuman's visage turned determined. "That's more like it! Leave not in tears, but in ROYAL PAIN!! Show me the ACADEMY OF ROYAL EUROPE!!"

Dengakuman sported a crown on his head. "The gales of the Emperor!"

"ESPADA DO MILHO!" (Sword of Corn!)

"ARMADILHA DE FRANGO!!" (Chicken Trap!!)

Dengakuman and Royal Europe were deadlocked in fists! Both shouted, "GAZE UPON THE WEST! IT SHINES **CRIIIIIIIIMSOOOOOON!!!**"

Dengakuman performed a leap kick into the other man's 'daddy lever', crumpling him down to size! "THAT'S for lying about liking my tofu!"

"You... bastard..." Despite fighting the urge to not pass out from lack of air and composure, the man smiled. "So get... going, and show them who's boss!"

"I WILL! THANK YOU ALL!" And as Dengakuman stepped into the light...

--

"I'm sorry, everyone, but I can't fix your boat!"

Mainland City. A bustling place where anyone and anything lives. Humans, kitties, kogal crocs, robots, minotaur people, orcs, and your garden variety mouse mascots aside, a wrecked yacht was wedged nicely into City Hall.

"As much as we like to believe you're the heroes who were prophecized to save our land from the evil Bald Empire, we are ill-prepared for supplying you with aid of any kind." The kindly mouse mayor lamented. "Especially, when the tip of your boat is thusly tickling my braaaaaaaaaain..."

"Well, that's a might shame." Poppa Rocks sounded rugged, donning gangster clothes. "It would be real disheartening if something were to happen to your fair city."

But Bo-bobo, all pretty in a pink dress and countess bonnet, appeared from behind the mayor. "Oh, you wouldn't dare, you beast! What ever will you do, I do declare?" With the end of his 'southern belle' tude, he daintly smacked Poppa Rocks into the wall, blood seeping out of the candy.

"Since when were you the mayor's daughter?!" Beauty reacted.

"Um," Softon stepped forward to the tiny mayor. "What information then can you tell us about the movement of the Bald Empire as of now?"

"All I know, is that the trees hate the mountains, delaying things until February 10 is unreasonable, the Bald Empire is holed up in a mountain base somewhere in the Far North, and my favorite animated show, 'Detergent', is about to start in three minutes!"

"Detergent?!" Poppa Rocks peeled his face off the wall, giddy despite the bloodstains present on his cheeks. "I played the main character in that show for the first twenty episodes, until they fired me for taking their donuts, replaced me, and gave the show a new title! It was actually supposed to be called 'Fabric Softener'!"

(Movie Preview: Detergent ep. 10 "Not without my Dryer Sheet!")

"MINNA!" Poppa Rocks, portrayed as the protagonist in gold armor, Blueberry Ichisaki, was standing next to a Torpedo Girl-looking girl named Cagal Rukichi, and a sentient blender with arms and legs named Bin. "Keep your eyes open! Who knows when the dreaded Filled will strike!"

And soon enough, a clear zombie keg the size of a skyscraper flickered into the scene. The bubbling green ooze inside it was spurting violently out of its mouth. "MWAHAHAHAHA! I will drench the living of this world with my amniotic mucus of the undead to bring humanity one step closer to despair!!"

"Oh no!" 'Cagal Rukichi' airily panicked. "It's a Filled! And it looks like the Mas Pequeno variety!"

Beauty commented with, "THAT'S THE SMALLEST THEY GOT?!"

"Hmph." The main character scoffed. "Let him try that tactic of his. I'M ALREADY UNDEAD."

Hatenkou sighed. "That's so cheesy..."

"LEEK SWORD!" 'Blueberry Ichisaki' whipped out his trusty leek, with a pop-out blade, and began channeling a strange aura into the vegetable. "TAKE MY AURA AND...!!" With a mighty explosion, that coincidentally killed of Bin and the other one, a mighty glowing veggie took its place. "BE BORN, BEAM DAIKON!"

"And remember, to always eat your vegetables!" Bo-bobo quipped.

The pink-haired sighed. "Since when did we also MST?"

"HAHAHA!" The monster roared. "BRING IT ON, YOU--" And in less than one hundred slashes of his Beam Daikon, the green viscous fluids flowed rapidly from the cracks of the beast, bringing him down to death. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooo..."

"And that's..." 'Blueberry Ichisaki' acted all cool, sheathing his Beam Daikon. "How it's done, minna!" He looked at the seared goodness of his gone companions. "Hahahaha... ewwww..."

(End Preview; Detergent 'Dumb Hero' Season Two coming out in 2008.)

"Poppa Rocks," Beauty asked. "How many times do I have to call you an idiot before you get the point?"

"4,294 times!" The orange candy countered, with a mock idiot tone. "Because I, AM, STU-UUUU-PID!!"

--

"I'm sorry, everyone, but you must understand that I HAD to beat you all senseless for attacking me."

Marmalada Jiggler chided her four followers, Larry, Sidney, Stumpgrinder, and P, for unintentionally slamming a fist into her orange face of prettiness!

"We apologize, my Lady." The four apologized in union.

"Would one of you at the very least explain to me why you did what you did?"

"Well," The living armor started. "We were devising a strategy to take out Bo-bobo and his minions."

"That's correct my Lady." P added. "We realized that we were defeated because that afro-ed fool and his cronies deliberately utilize parody and shenanigans to throw us off guard and make us appear foolish, thus leaving us wide open for direct attacks!"

The orange beauty was agasped at the situation. "Intriguing! And P, that was so eloquent and fluid as well! How did you garner the word power for that?"

"Oh." P was excited once more, pointing out, "I _mind-hack_ Larry." The Shadow Spy proved that point, in the form of his bugged-out eyes and now collapsed body.

"Well," Arn was startled. "P my main man, I'm not even gonna ASK how you did that."

"I am pleased with this report, gentlemen." She smiled an infectious, evil smile. "I will alert our field agent about this tactic of yours, while you four resume getting your health back. Understand?"

"Yes, Lady Marmalada!"

Saluting, the orange flavored tokoro walked out of the room, with the collapsed Larry recomposing himself. "Hmm... That's strange. Didn't you guys notice something weird?"

"What ho, what do you mean weird?" Sidney asked.

"The whole accepting our plan, the salute, the walk-out, it all seemed so... staged."

Arn felt a lightbulb come to life above his head, just before deciding to screw it into a nearby dimming lightpost. "What about that weird shuriken-like dealy sticking out of her head?"

"SHURIKEN-LIKE DEALY?!" P and Sidney were flabbergasted.

"I know, I thought I was the only one who noticed it!" The Shadow Spy looked towards the door, and got another idea bulb, ignoring the fact it decided to quarrel with the suave Arn's idea lightbulb in a comical scuffle. "Well boys, if you don't mind, I'm gonna do some investigating. If I don't come back, avenge my death!"

"NO PROMISES!!" Enraged, P throttled Larry into the wall, destroying a wall that revealed a tiny, bald man bathing in a soapy bath.

"Excuse me," The bald man stated in a wimpy voice. "The air is making me cold. Will you kindly close the walls, please?"

"Oh, sorry about that." The living armor knight pulled down a curtain covering the hole in the wall. "Well, that was most disturbing."

--

"I'm sorry, minna, but I just don't know where we have to go!"

Bo-bobo cried outloud, with the rest of the gang looking at him in an 'Are you out of your--wait, this is how you always act' look.

"Bo-bobo," Softon added. "The mayor already said that the Bald Empire base was to the far north. We were walking for twenty minutes already before you decided to break down any walls."

"But... but they're fun to break down!" The afroed hero giddily thrust his arm out to his right, unknowingly breaking through a conveniently placed house wall.

"HEY!" Poppa Rocks reacted. "THAT'S WHERE I HUNG MY GREAT-GRANDMAMA'S PORTRAIT!! You bastard!!" The candy took it upon himself to club Bo-bobo with the ruined portrait!

"THAT'S NOT EVEN YOUR GREAT-GRANDMAMA!" Beauty reacted, pointing out the flaw in the picture: it wasn't a Rocks-like being, but an elderly looking grey tokoro.

"Guys, would you mind keeping it down?" Jelly came out of the shower, with towels wrapped around his waist and his head. "I got interrupted in the shower by the sound of you guys making a ruckus--" His eyes widened in horror at the sight of it all. "NOOOOO! GREAT-GRANDMAMA'S PORTRAIT!" Now in a fiery rage, his blobby hands gripped themselves around... Gasser.

"HEY! WAIT! WHAT'D I DO?!" Gasser answered before being strangled. "IT WAS... BO-BOBO!!"

"WHAT?!"

"Yes... it was **I** who did it." Bo-bobo solemnly stated, relieved to see the white-haired teen released by the lychee-flavored man. "I encouraged her to follow her dream. She told me to tell both you and your sister, that she was proud of the both of you." His tears flowed slowly from behind his shades. "She's now... lint-flavored jam!"

In deep sadness, the Jiggler let out a bellowing "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-- Wait a minute..." Jelly was now confused. "I never had a great-grandmama."

"Really??" Hatenkou thought hard, pulling out an unappetizing grey jar of jam. Poppa Rocks and Softon were eating it with grimaces on their faces. "Then what have we been eating for the last three days?"

The soft-serve headed one of the group clutched his stomach, keeling over. "Ugh..."

"What's wrong, brother?" Beauty ran to Softon's side. "Please tell me it was something you ate..."

"I think that's the case, Beauty..." With one last sickened look, he hurled up his lunch... in blood.

"OH MY GOD!!"

"I know!" Bo-bobo was in much shock as Beauty, but ignoring the fact that he was dressed like Beauty too, he pointed something out. "Hey, is that a hairpin?"

"Hey! It IS a hairpin!" Softon recomposed himself, cleaned it, and handed it to Jelly. "What do you think this is?"

"This is... a Gold Hairpin..." The tokoro mused before realizing a grim fact. "This belonged to OLD LADY JAM-JAM!!!" Once more, his tears flooded the grass around him, blooming into tokoro flowers.

"A new plant species?!" The female of the group pointed out.

"OH, STRANGER, I FEEL FOR YOUR PAIN!" A random teen popped out of nowhere, in blue jeans, a red shirt, pink hair, and bare-foot. He hugged the lychee-flavored man, with tears coming down his face as well. "That old soul nursed me back to health, and I am indebted to her!!"

"OH STRANGER!" Jelly hugged harder.

Hatenkou was merely crying like a gimp. "OH WHY DO THE GOOD ONES DIE SO YOUNG--" The non-afroed blond suddenly pulled out a spare key, and threw it fast in the direction of the teen, watching him dodge the attack and using Jelly to absorb the attack.

"OW!!! THE BULLSEYE OF MY PANCREAS!!"

"Who do you think you are, punk?" Hatenkou questioned, his tone now serious, with everyone eventually snapping out of it.

"Well, aren't you the deductive one, key-boy?" A shining object appeared in his hand, in the form of a thick daily calendar. "Of the Bald Empire Intarweb Corps, I am Barnaby of the Calendar!"

Beauty whipped out her fan, and Gasser positioned himself. "We should've known!"

"How would we have known?" Poppa Rocks punched the three teens hard. "We only met him fifteen seconds ago, you punks!!"

"Why was I involved in that?" Barnaby of the Calendar reacted. Brushing off that cheap shot, he smirked evilly. "But never you mind that; now, it's time for you to feel the power of my calendar!"

"Um, hate to tell you this," Bo-bobo wandered up to him innocently. "But that's yesterday's date..." He ripped off the date off the calendar, netting the current day as well as knocking Barnaby off his feet.

"THAT WAS A DIRECT HIT?!"

"Ugh..." The Bald Empire minion brushed his mouth again. "You found the source of my life energy, you parodius bastards... If all the pages of my daily calendar are ripped off, then my game's over!"

"You've got to be kidding me..." Gasser and Softon shared an exasperated sigh.

"THANKS FOR THE TIP!"

The squeaky voice came out of nowhere, as the ground erupted from under Bo-bobo's feet, launching him into the air! It was none other than our good pal Dengakuman, back and looking all regal in a crown.

"Now to finish you off, Mr. Bad guy!" A regal blue energy swirled all around the tiny white being, as he throttled himself underneath the enemy. "Dengaku Style, Academy of Royal Europe: ROYAL... MIRACLE..." He halted to give Barnaby something. "Here's some grilled tofu dipped in miso on a stick."

"Wow! Thanks! I love tofu dipped in miso on a--"

"**SHINRYUKEN!!!!!**"

Coated in a pillar of flames, Dengakuman pummeled upwards, dealing fiery hit after fiery hit with his 'Royal Europe' inspired fighting attack. The enemy's tofu hit the ground in a gloppy mess, as well as incinerating a good chunk of his calendar, along with a spray of blood, knocking it out of his hands.

"NO! MY CALENDAR!!!"

"Okay, minna!" Bo-bobo miraculously returned, feeling their collective auras come over their beings. "Let's cut up that calendar!" His octave-deep battle cry, channeled all their forces together! "Fist of the Unified Nose Hair!!" A white flash, and everyone was suddenly sitting around a table, innocently making origami with the calendar pages. "ORIGAMI CUT CLASS!"

"AAAAUUUGGGHHH!!!"

"Hey, look, I made a swan!" Dengakuman chirped.

"Man, swans are SO old-school!" Poppa Rocks clapped the back of the white guy's head. "Now swallows, that's a challenge in itself!"

"Man... I'm really struggling with this..." Gasser admitted, suddenly feeling Beauty's hands on top of his.

"Here. Let me teach you how it's done." Beauty smiled endearingly.

"Aww! That's so cute!" Hatenkou couldn't help himself, as he saw the scene, while Softon did an origami of a poop.

"I made mine out of two hundred sheets! And it's me!" Bo-bobo said, proudly demonstrating his 'origami Bo-bobo'.

"Really, though, ONE of you is enough." Jelly admitted. "Ooh! There's one date left on that calendar! MINE!" The tokoro was about to rip it out, but his attempt proved futile. As much as he tried, he couldn't rip it out. Soon, everyone tried ripping it out with their combined strength, but it just wasn't enough. "Hey! This one isn't coming out!"

"HahahahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" The laughter echoing from the fallen Barnaby, now soaked in red, as he stood up with ease. "Fools! I faked you out into my open trap! The true reserves of my life energy are in that _last_ date!"

"Wait!" Gasser pointed out. "How can you stand after losing so much blood?"

"Please!" Barnaby scoffed. "What you see here are time-activated packets of _ketchup_ and my _own blood_, to goad you into thinking that you had me on the ropes by ripping up my calendar..." He was dazed a little. "Wooo... I'm getting woozy..." He shook it off, and stared down his opponents. "Tell me, Bo-bobo. What does that last date say?"

Curiously, the Bo-nafied hero complied. "It's November twelve." (The day this chapter was released lol)

"YES! Now it's time! Calendar Art: SUMMON FAMILIAR!!"

From that last page, an unspeakable horror rose up from it, with grisly arms, a muscular body, stick-like talons, and shadowy tentacles slithering out of its back. Its deep ocean eyes intimidated Beauty and Dengakuman, and its snarling fangs lashed out at the gang, loosing a bellow.

"Bo-bobo and companions, meet my loyal familiar, bestowed upon me at my birth, and living since the beginning of time: **November 12**!"

"Hey..." The orange candy looked up at the frightening beast. "that's not an intimidating name--" And his face met the cruel appendage of the monster. "AUGH!!!"

"POPPA!!"

The lips of the monster snarled. "April Fools, betch!"

"No!" Barnaby pulled out a spray bottle, and started spritzing the monster, hearing it whine and groan. "It, is, NOT, April Fools day, 12!"

"Is that acid or holy water?" Jelly asked.

"Vinaigrette."

"Oh, that works just as well."

"It's a good thing I received that strategic tip from Lady Marmalada before I encountered them. They're already with their backs against the wall." He thought to himself before the teen snapped, just as November 12 reconstituted itself. "Now fools! Your journey to save this pitiful cyber realm will come to a screeching end at OUR hands! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!"

--

Have Bo-bobo and friends finally met their match?

Will the Bald Empire finally succeed where the real Bald Emperor failed?

Will Shadow Spy Balder McBaldington find his information?

And will these chapters be updated more consistently??

We'll find out next time!


End file.
